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My boyfriend died of an overdose


NatKiki

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Okay so I'm new to this (please don't judge my grammatical errors ) 

On May 10th 2017 my boyfriend of almost 2 years died of a sudden overdose. I didn't find out until the 15th that he had died , didn't even get to go to his funeral.  He's Muslim by the wayour so the buried him before I even found out . It's funny because we were fighting like cats and dogs and I never in my life thought he would die just like that . Me and Bubba didn't have the best relationship and that's a known fact to be honest he kinda of ruined my life and I'm not sure if I'm mad at the fact that he died or the fact I didn't get to cuss him off. I saw him the day before he passed away we weren't on speaking terms at all ,but I guessing God wanted me to see him one more time. It's been almost 3-4 months and I'm honestly trying my best to be a strong person for him but it really hurts and I'm kinda of losing it 

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Natkiki,

Welcome here, I'm sorry your BF died, I take it you're young.  Just because everything wasn't perfect between you doesn't mean you don't feel everything one feels when they lose someone they love.  We can love someone even if things aren't going right.  It might help for you to write him a letter expressing everything you didn't get to say to him.  It helps.  You can be angry and love him and hurt all at the same time, our feelings are just that, our feelings...sometimes hard to get through but normal and understandable all the same.

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52 minutes ago, KayC said:

Natkiki,

Welcome here, I'm sorry your BF died, I take it you're young.  Just because everything wasn't perfect between you doesn't mean you don't feel everything one feels when they lose someone they love.  We can love someone even if things aren't going right.  It might help for you to write him a letter expressing everything you didn't get to say to him.  It helps.  You can be angry and love him and hurt all at the same time, our feelings are just that, our feelings...sometimes hard to get through but normal and understandable all the same.

Thank you I really appreciate your very kind words , I'm 22 and he was only 29 both very young it's still fresh it's like it happened yesterday.  I want to say I'm moving past it but then I'd only be living to myself 

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NatKiki, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your boyfriend. The emotional pain is unrelenting. No way to get away from it. This grieving is so complex,so many questions and no answers. Multiple emotions happening at the same time. We are here for you. Whether you just want to read posts to gain some commonality or to express yourself when you feel the need. This is a great place to do both. Sending prayers for strength, comfort and peace to you.

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No, we never move "past it", it becomes a part of us and it's always there, but we do eventually adjust and enjoy what is good in our lives but it's very very hard the first few years.  22 is so young to have to go through this, so not fair!

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