Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Sign in to follow this  

I feel guilty...

Recommended Posts

Monday was the 3rd anniversary of my mother's death. The previous day, Sunday, my older sister was acting a little moody and said she's on the verge of having a panic attack. On Monday I was so focused on the eclipse and getting to see it, that I wasn't even thinking hard about how it was the anniversary of my mother's death. It's as if other days I'm sad, but when the 21st of each month rolls around, some I'm ok, others I'm not. I kind of feel bad for not feeling that bad about it specifically on the 21st...if that makes sense. Especially since my sister was sad, but I wasn't since it was a pretty good day for me and I felt happy getting to see the eclipse for the first time in my life. The only thing I felt bad about is that the eclipse is one of the many  cool things in my life that I won't get to experience with my mother. Still, I enjoyed it that day. Is this weird? Sorry if my rant doesn't make any sense.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear  Sweetheart346,

Loss doesn't make sense so how can our changing feelings and emotions make sense?  I am glad it wasn't a bad day for you.  No need to feel guilty.  I am sure you have and have had plenty of bad days, weeks and months over 3 yrs.  It was my mothers birthday last month.  I anticipated it was going to be worse than all the other days but it wasn't.  It wasn't a good day, it wasn't a terrible day.  It was just another day.  The first birthday since she died so one would expect it to be more brutal than the other days.  It wasn't.  Brutal days come and go.  I am glad you enjoyed the eclipse.  Enjoy some happiness when it comes along even if its brief.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this