Has anyone ever been visited by their dead partner?

[AlwaysDee]

When John visited me, and the 3 other people he visited before that, in the dream I noticed, that he was comforting us, and we could tell, but there were no actual words that we could remember. I dont think its worried any of us that he didn't talk, because we could feel him comforting us, like he didnt need words and it came across in the dream clearly, we woke up feeling comforted, we just couldn't remember what he had said or it wasn't meant for us to wake up with, if that makes any sense?

[Lulu]

In one dream, I was laying down and feeling so sad. I saw a figure I recognized and I held out my hand and said will you hold my hand? This person held and squeezed my hand. I then said will you please hug me? I was so sad and missing my Lily and just wanted someone to hug me. This person leaned over and hugged me, it felt so good and comforting, and when they pulled away I was feeling sad that my Lily was not here. Then I realized it was Lily all the time. I saw that it was her but for some reason, it didn't click that this is the person I was missing.  I instantly woke up and I clearly remembered that it was her all along but for some reason, within the dream I didn't notice and was just feeling sad that she wasn't with me. She didn't say anything, but I know it was her.

 

[WaHaaf99]

56 minutes ago, Azipod said:

WaHaaf99, its hard for someone else to analyze your dream. Dreams mean different things to different people so only you can decipher the details to figure out its truly meaning to you.... or shall we say, it's message.

Your experience resembles a visitation dream.  Notice that you were a main character in both dreams.  You were participating as an active 1st party with your loved one, as oppose to sitting back and passively and watching things unfold as in a regular dream.   Also, you could feel him, and you genuinely felt his prescence in the dream.  You also described the encounter in good details.  It also took place in a realistic setting (as oppose to seeing flying ducks, or clowns in space).

It's interesting that he can not talk in both dreams.  I'm not sure if there's a correlation to a physical illness he had?

Oh... I wasn't asking for an evaluation of my dream, I just wanted to know what others thought. (Possibly an actual visitation?) No, I would only know what certain meanings would be.

I have seen others, not just from here, but other visitation experiences where their loved one, no matter who, can't speak either. I just don't know that correlation or reasoning? So I know that I am not the only one with that?

[FirstWasLast]

3 hours ago, WaHaaf99 said:

28 April 2017. (4 days after his death.) - My first dream was within the first week that he had passed away. It started as a normal subconscious dream. It was very strange like all my dreams I guess, but he was in the dream too. Then we went into a room together. This is when it changed suddenly. I was sitting down next to him and I remember I held my hand to him and smiled. He smiled back at me and he grabbed my hand and we held hands smiling. I remember then I was sitting on the opposite side, but for a second. I made a fist with that hand because I remember I had to do something with my hand and I remember that even though I did that, he still held my fist. I remember feeling his hands, they felt drier than my hands but they felt bigger and life-like. He didn't say anything. (I have noticed that in both dreams... he could not speak.) My hand felt warm/sweaty and as I said something/asked him something... he voice was cut. Like he was about to say something but he couldn't. Then I woke up.

7 August 2017. - The second dream was also strange in the beginning but then it changed. So I am going to describe it the way that I wrote my dream. "Suddenly I was sitting next to my love on a concrete bench. It was so cute because he was wearing his bluish/navy shirt and his chain necklace but instead of the silver, it was like a goldish silver look. I don't think he had a hat on but I don't remember. Anyway, I remember he looked at me... made a kiss gesture real quickly with his mouth to me, but as he was doing that he was looking away because there was this group of boys walking past us or in front of us as I was on campus. (I am in university.) I remember he was not a fan of PDA but I didn't care about that. I remember hugging him afterwards and I could feel his body, his shirt, his chest, his arms on me. I couldn't smell him though. He didn't say anything. He tried to spell something with his hands but I couldn't understand what it was. A short word... E was the last letter. Maybe it was "love" for me? Anyway, I said I can't understand (Portuguese) well anymore. I smiled and he smiled and I grabbed him and hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I held him in my arms and I could feel his arms on my arms as I hugged him from behind. I tried to smell him but I couldn't and as I held him, I suddenly could hear my TV playing in the background. Something triggered my OCD but I was not in the mood for the compulsions so I slowly did them and redid the compulsions later. I could still slightly feel him on me for a minute. Also 2 fingers on my right hand were numb, the ring finger and small finger. My other hand was numb but not as numb. Then the feeling went away. Opinions on my dreams?

To me, both dreams are similar to those I've had but didn't really consider visitation dreams. However, the most important thing in a visitation dream is how YOU felt, not really what was going on, and I you felt strongly his presence as opposed to other dreams with him, then it's definitely legit. It does seem kind of strange that he won't speak at all in both dreams... Whenever I was visited by my grandma, there was always some kind of message she needed to give. Like once, she told me she loved me more than anyone and that's something she never said when she was alive -never said it but always showed it. Anyway, i really don't know what to say about all that, I'm so confused... Like I said, you're the only one to know how these dreams felt. And I think that the whole absence of voice and trying to spell things out thing probably means something, a message for you maybe. Perhaps in a future visitation dream he'll finally be able to speak and tell you what he has to say?

[WaHaaf99]

3 minutes ago, FirstWasLast said:

To me, both dreams are similar to those I've had but didn't really consider visitation dreams. However, the most important thing in a visitation dream is how YOU felt, not really what was going on, and I you felt strongly his presence as opposed to other dreams with him, then it's definitely legit. It does seem kind of strange that he won't speak at all in both dreams... Whenever I was visited by my grandma, there was always some kind of message she needed to give. Like once, she told me she loved me more than anyone and that's something she never said when she was alive -never said it but always showed it. Anyway, i really don't know what to say about all that, I'm so confused... Like I said, you're the only one to know how these dreams felt. And I think that the whole absence of voice and trying to spell things out thing probably means something, a message for you maybe. Perhaps in a future visitation dream he'll finally be able to speak and tell you what he has to say?

The reason is, I have had other dreams of him in the past but they are like me watching a movie or me in it, but not doing a lot. I am personally not the "leader" or the "main character" in those dreams. Like I had one where someone shot him but the thing is, I felt no presence and I didn't feel anything but stress afterwards. A visitation dream, both times I had no stress and I felt good and relaxed when I woke up. I could actually feel him in my dream and it was very vivid, and it were as if I am actually awake that is how real it felt. I have also had signs from him too.

Why do you not think it could be in your case?

[FirstWasLast]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDee said:

When John visited me, and the 3 other people he visited before that, in the dream I noticed, that he was comforting us, and we could tell, but there were no actual words that we could remember. I dont think its worried any of us that he didn't talk, because we could feel him comforting us, like he didnt need words and it came across in the dream clearly, we woke up feeling comforted, we just couldn't remember what he had said or it wasn't meant for us to wake up with, if that makes any sense?

Yeah, it makes sense and resembles what WaHaaf99 described about his partner not being able to speak in these dreams. Maybe John didn't need to actually articulate words to convey his message to all 4 of you, maybe he communicated in a way that's unknown to us in this world and therefore you forgot upon waking up. I can't really compare it with my visitation dreams -not with my partner-, where there was a clear dialogue and a very precise message. Who knows why that happens?

[FirstWasLast]

1 hour ago, Lulu said:

In one dream, I was laying down and feeling so sad. I saw a figure I recognized and I held out my hand and said will you hold my hand? This person held and squeezed my hand. I then said will you please hug me? I was so sad and missing my Lily and just wanted someone to hug me. This person leaned over and hugged me, it felt so good and comforting, and when they pulled away I was feeling sad that my Lily was not here. Then I realized it was Lily all the time. I saw that it was her but for some reason, it didn't click that this is the person I was missing.  I instantly woke up and I clearly remembered that it was her all along but for some reason, within the dream I didn't notice and was just feeling sad that she wasn't with me. She didn't say anything, but I know it was her.

 

That corresponds to the answer i just posted to AlwaysDee: Lily communicated with you in an abstract way, so abstract that you didn't even realise it was her at first. But she did communicate and comfort you. Maybe we're all so used to our conventional, three dimensional perception of things that we can't comprehend the dimension through which our dead loved ones try to communicate with us.

[FirstWasLast]

4 minutes ago, WaHaaf99 said:

Why do you not think it could be in your case?

I can't really say because I'm still so unsure... Maybe they were visitation dreams because like you said, I wasn't passive in them and I did feel his presence, his touch, his hug, his voice. I recently had a dream of him sitting opposite of me at a table, just casually talking like we were in a restaurant or something, and I was aware of it being a dream and that he's dead in real life, so while listening to him I had just tilted my head to the side and observed as many things about him as I could, trying to memorise everything; his hands, his clothes, his look, his posture, I was trying to cherish everything precisely because I knew it was a dream. Another time, I remember lying down and being in his arms, our eyes closed and not saying anything, and I remember thinking the same thing, something like ''you should really make the most of it this very moment, because it's just a dream and you'll lose the feeling of his hug once you wake up''. 

I don't know why I'm so confused about all these dreams... Maybe because I'm used to visitation dreams having a sort of message, and there wasn't any here. Or perhaps simple because my grief is still too deep that it won't let me see things clearly. KayC has spoken of brainfog, and I couldn't agree more. 

[WaHaaf99]

13 minutes ago, FirstWasLast said:

Yeah, it makes sense and resembles what WaHaaf99 described about his partner not being able to speak in these dreams. Maybe John didn't need to actually articulate words to convey his message to all 4 of you, maybe he communicated in a way that's unknown to us in this world and therefore you forgot upon waking up. I can't really compare it with my visitation dreams -not with my partner-, where there was a clear dialogue and a very precise message. Who knows why that happens?

Haha. I am a guy. I edited the quote, but is it ok if it is changed on the original post? I just get uncomfortable with that. I guess it isn't really thought of, more like assumptions haha.

-

Sometimes the message isn't really a message but more of a reassurance meaning they are still with you always and that they'll always love and care for you.. as well as watch us.  Anyone else know regarding that topic?

[FirstWasLast]

2 minutes ago, WaHaaf99 said:

Haha. I am a guy. I edited the quote, but is it ok if it is changed on the original post? I just get uncomfortable with that. I guess it isn't really thought of, more like assumptions haha.

I know, I'm so sorry but I hadn't noticed! I felt so silly and went  back and corrected it right away! I do apologise, I shouldn't have assumed anything!

Quote

Sometimes the message isn't really a message but more of a reassurance meaning they are still with you always and that they'll always love and care for you.. as well as watch us.  Anyone else know regarding that topic?

I think you'll find plenty of perspectives on that subject if you read the thread from the beginning. The possibilities and interpretations are endless really, which is why it's good to have this kind of forum where we can all share our thoughts. 

[Azipod]

10 hours ago, FirstWasLast said:

I too know that true relief will only come when my heart stops beating. 

I love your line.  This truly describes how I feel.

[FirstWasLast]

4 hours ago, Azipod said:

I love your line.  This truly describes how I feel.

My thoughts go out to you. I wish that line didn't describe how you felt, I wouldn't wish it to anyone. 

[Eagle-96]

18 hours ago, FirstWasLast said:

In any case, I too know that true relief will only come when my heart stops beating. 

I guess that is when I will truly be happy again. My cousin who lost her husband 2 1/2 years ago said she tries for "something approaching joy". I suppose that means that true, real, bonafide happiness isn't really attainable in my new reality. I mean, sure I smile and even laugh occasionally. But the highs in my current life don't even approach the lows of my former life. And the lows now. Well, you know how those go.

[KMB]

2 hours ago, Eagle-96 said:

I guess that is when I will truly be happy again.

I have the same thoughts and I write those thoughts in my journaling. I tell my husband that I will never be truly happy in this life, that I am extremely lonely for him. There are no words to describe this existence without the one person we need.

[FirstWasLast]

5 hours ago, KMB said:

I have the same thoughts and I write those thoughts in my journaling. I tell my husband that I will never be truly happy in this life, that I am extremely lonely for him. There are no words to describe this existence without the one person we need.

I keep wishing that something will happen to me and that I'll find the peace I need. Trying to build something new just doesn't seem to be worth it anymore. I don't want to get over him or get used to his absence. The only thing that's stopping me from doing something to myself is the pain I'll be causing my parents. Perhaps one day my sorrow will overcome that last barrier, but for the moment, all I can do is that something will happen to me. 

[Azipod]

43 minutes ago, FirstWasLast said:

I keep wishing that something will happen to me and that I'll find the peace I need. Trying to build something new just doesn't seem to be worth it anymore. I don't want to get over him or get used to his absence. The only thing that's stopping me from doing something to myself is the pain I'll be causing my parents. Perhaps one day my sorrow will overcome that last barrier, but for the moment, all I can do is that something will happen to me. 

I feel the same.  Before, I've always been afraid of dying.   Not anymore.  I am so ready to go.  

[FirstWasLast]

40 minutes ago, Azipod said:

I feel the same.  Before, I've always been afraid of dying.   Not anymore.  I am so ready to go.  

I must say I've never been exactly afraid of dying, since I see it as the end, nothing, the void, like it's all over; but up until now, I had never actively wished/seeked it either. But all this has definitely change my perspective on suicide. I believe each one of us has an unconditional right to death if that's what they feel like they need to find peace, and any advice along the lines of ''life is worth it/it gets better/you should seek help'' doesn't really make any sense to me...it rather sounds arbitrary actually. Why is it better? Why should I seek help if I'm perfectly comfortable with these thoughts? Why are you so sure that it will get better?

[KMB]

1 hour ago, FirstWasLast said:

I must say I've never been exactly afraid of dying, since I see it as the end, nothing, the void, like it's all over; but up until now, I had never actively wished/seeked it either. But all this has definitely change my perspective on suicide. I believe each one of us has an unconditional right to death if that's what they feel like they need to find peace, and any advice along the lines of ''life is worth it/it gets better/you should seek help'' doesn't really make any sense to me...it rather sounds arbitrary actually. Why is it better? Why should I seek help if I'm perfectly comfortable with these thoughts? Why are you so sure that it will get better?

I wish I had the answers. As individuals, we are given civil rights as to how we live. I feel that we should also have the right if we want to stay in this life or not.( Not that I am an advocate for suicide, but I do believe assisted suicide has its place for the terminally ill and even those who have to live with chronic pain of which there is not much treatment for). The Bible says it is a sin to take your own life. We agreed with God, for this gift of a life, with all the good and bad, and we are to see that agreement through to its natural end. Spiritual teachings, (non-religious), say that we planned our life with our creator and we each have a purpose for learning lessons before we go back to the afterlife.  I've read that when someone thinks about suicide, that the potential for that act was placed in the person's life for a specific reason. We are given free will choice to act on that potential. When a person acts on that intent and crosses over, they have to deal with the remorse and regrets of how their life would have turned out differently if they had not have ended their life and chose another path for themselves. When the person deals with the consequences of their suicide, they have to watch and feel what their act has done to the loved ones they left behind. Lessons  of the suicide are learned, the soul is reunited with loved ones who have already crossed over and the soul goes on to continue its spiritual journey.

Just a little food for thought here, if you will. I have been searching for the right answers myself. We don't know anything for sure until we cross over ourselves.

[FirstWasLast]

11 hours ago, KMB said:

I wish I had the answers. As individuals, we are given civil rights as to how we live. I feel that we should also have the right if we want to stay in this life or not.( Not that I am an advocate for suicide, but I do believe assisted suicide has its place for the terminally ill and even those who have to live with chronic pain of which there is not much treatment for). The Bible says it is a sin to take your own life. We agreed with God, for this gift of a life, with all the good and bad, and we are to see that agreement through to its natural end. Spiritual teachings, (non-religious), say that we planned our life with our creator and we each have a purpose for learning lessons before we go back to the afterlife.  I've read that when someone thinks about suicide, that the potential for that act was placed in the person's life for a specific reason. We are given free will choice to act on that potential. When a person acts on that intent and crosses over, they have to deal with the remorse and regrets of how their life would have turned out differently if they had not have ended their life and chose another path for themselves. When the person deals with the consequences of their suicide, they have to watch and feel what their act has done to the loved ones they left behind. Lessons  of the suicide are learned, the soul is reunited with loved ones who have already crossed over and the soul goes on to continue its spiritual journey.

Just a little food for thought here, if you will. I have been searching for the right answers myself. We don't know anything for sure until we cross over ourselves.

It's true that we don't know anything, that's why each one of us chooses the option that's closer to what we feel makes sense, based on our faith, our own logic or whatever else. Based on my way of thinking, I respectfully disagree with what you mentioned. To me, there's no afterlife, death is simply the end and we stop existing. No remorse, no regrets, no happiness, nothing. Just plain void.

[KMB]

WasFirstLast, No offense taken. Each of us here have our own opinions and beliefs. We do share the commonality of grieving. Emotional pain of loss is universal and such a devastating situation that we have to cope with.

[FirstWasLast]

So, I'd like to share my latest experiences about visitation dreams.

Last night, right before waking up, I dreamt that I was laying down with my partner, my head on his chest, his arm around me and holding hands. This was a very common posture for us to have in bed or on the couch and our favourite may I say. During the dream, I had yet again this feeling of ''it's been a long time and I better make the most of it cause I'm not getting it in real life anymore''. Laying there in his arms felt serene and comforting, but it was nothing too intense. I remember that when he grabbed my hand and I felt his fingers squeezing mine, I really liked it. I liked the feeling that it wasn't enough for him to just have me in his arms, but that he also needed to hold my hand tight. Like I said, I had this dream right before waking up. The thing is that as I woke up, I felt nothing. No emotional tension or some lingering feeling I have usually associated with visitation dreams. So as much as what happened in the dream could indicate a visitation, I'm not really sure it was one...

Now, another experience that I was told by a close friend. A few years ago, that friend lost her 22-year-old cousin after an undetected aneurysm ruptured. It was completely unexpected and sudden, nobody knew she had that. She just got an intense and sudden headache one morning, passed out and within minutes she was gone. It was a huge shock to the family and to my friend because they had grown up together and they were very close. A few weeks after her death, my friend dreamt of her. In her dream, her cousin was talking to her about a little blue pony they both used to play with as kids. Obviously, it had been may years since they hadn't played with it and since my friend hadn't seen that toy. In the dream, her cousin was telling her ''the blue pony is on the shelf in my room, go and get it''. It was an intense dream and the message was quite clear, so my friend went indeed to her house the next day -she hadn't been there in years- and looked for the pony. It was on the same shelf that she told her about in the dream, in her childhood room.

[WaHaaf99]

I would say that those dreams were visitations, they seem vivid. Like I said, I try to look up reassurance with the visitation dreams that way I can know for sure and feel more confident.