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Has anyone ever been visited by their dead partner?


FirstWasLast

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FirstWasLast

A slightly metaphysical question, perhaps even creepy to some, although in our cases I can hardly believe any such experience would be scary. Have you ever had anything like that happen to you? Dreams, visions, voices, all sorts of signs.... Feel free to share anything really.

As far as I am concerned, I have a tattoo on my ring finger with my dead partner's initials, and I occasionally feel really intense, inexplicable pain in that finger. I haven't associated it with a particular moment or event though, so far it seems rather random...

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As a whole, I don't normally have dreams, but this one particular dream was so vivid that I remember every aspect of it and shared it with this forum as well as my grief counselor.  To sum it up, I believe my Charles was telling me that he was waiting for me at home (heaven) and not to rush things, that in time, I would join him.  That dream brought me peace.  On another occasion, I was really in a deep dark place and I prayed and prayed asking God to give me a sign that my Charles was OK and if I knew that, than I could be OK.  I was given that reassurance and again, I posted it on this forum.   God revealed to me that my Charles was OK - I was not asleep but I felt this shadow that literally went from my head to my feet - it's hard to explain but it was sort of like an eclipse and then a feeling of utter peace and a reassurance that my Charles was OK - no words spoken but that peace that touched my heart was all that was needed.  I knew then it was true.   That was the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced.

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I've had two dreams that seemed quite different than normal that I kind of accept as visitation dreams. My wife and I also have ring finger tattoos but I haven't experienced anything like what you described there

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FirstWasLast
10 minutes ago, Djh0901kc said:

I've had two dreams that seemed quite different than normal that I kind of accept as visitation dreams. My wife and I also have ring finger tattoos but I haven't experienced anything like what you described there

Would you mind describing those dreams? If it's not too personal of course.

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I was just thinking about posting this same question, great minds think alike. Here's the experience I've had the past few weeks.

My John was the ultimate "doubting thomas" when it came to the afterlife in our conversations, but I always made him promise that if something happened to one of us we would find SOME way to let the other one know we are okay. He promised me this so I have been looking for signs since the day he passed.

His death was a VERY sudden accident, and the day he died, my family had me sitting in my uncles truck waiting to go away from the scene. I was alone in the truck, hysterical and I kept praying and begging "please tell me your okay, please, please. Go to heaven, and tell me your okay" and the radio in the truck said the name of the song that was playing, and it switched to "Learning to fly" and I said okay, if this is you please I need more. and it switched again to say "Maybe I'm amazed" and I just felt in my heart that was him telling me he was okay. He always wanted to fly, and I he always would say "maybe im impressed" or "maybe Im surprised" in a joking kind of way. So that got me through that day.

The next few weeks, and still, I feel like I feel him in my heart, talking to him. So that has held me together, just talking with him. But I hadn't had anything that felt like him visiting me. The dr. put me on sleep meds the 4th day after bc I hadn't slept in 4 days so once I started those I was sleeping HARD.

My best friend found John when he passed, she had just lost the father of her child a few months before. So finding John was very traumatizing to her, and around the 6th day  before I went to bed I was praying and talking to John and I said "Please go to Jess, she needs you so bad. Please go to her" and I went to bed.

She woke me up that morning and the 1st thing she said was "John came to me" and she seemed so different than before. and she said she was dreaming, what seemed like a regular dream and she was going up the stairs of my house and John came out of his office. and she said he was SO bright. Like not golden, but just BEAMING bright. and she said he looked SO, SO good. Like he hadn't worked a day in his life, no dark circles under his eyes or swollen sinuses (which he had all the time), she said it was like he was photoshopped perfect and he was smiling so big. and she said it was so unexpected and he was so bright, real and perfect it scared her and startled her awake. she sat up and sat there for a while and then got up and used the bathroom and laid back down. she said she was barely asleep and she heard John clear as day sigh (which he was known for his long exasperated sigh lol) and say "lets try this again." and she said she was dreaming in my moms dining room and John was there again but a little less bright and she said she just hugged him and cried and she doesn't remember what he was saying to her but she knows he was holding her and comforting her. and then he was gone and she woke up.

a few days later my younger cousin woke up and said she had a dream that was like a regular dream. we were all sitting around the living room like we do talking and then she suddenly noticed John was sitting behind me staring at me and smiling in the dream. and she stopped and said "John?" and he looked at her like he was surprised she saw him  and he smiled at her and she said it was so real and the way he looked at her was so warm and real and shaking it woke her up. She said he looked so, so amazing.

By now, I'm like why isn't he coming to me? I don't understand at all...

I went and stayed with my In-Laws for a night and Johns sister came for dinner. She said "John came to me last night!" and said she was having a normal dream. John wasn't in it. She was with a bunch of family and co-workers and they were trying to break into her office building for some reason and she said she was in the building and turned around and all of a sudden John was there. and it shocked her b.c he was so out of place and she said "John? What are you doing here? Your gone, your not supposed to be here" and he smiled and shushed her (again something he was known for)  and gave her a giant hug and she woke up. and she said it was so, so different than any other dream. When I asked how he looked she said he looked "so, good." like my friend and cousin had said. Just his face was so, so perfect and happy. and she said she felt so much better.

So I was trying to take all these dreams as him being okay, and it made me feel good... but I still didnt understand why everyone else got to see him and I didnt. A week passed. And I know I wasn't letting myself grieve properly. I was stuffing down my tears, and just not doing well at all. It caught up with me over the weekend though and I had a bad panic attack. I stayed with my best friend on Saturday and finally broke down and had the cry I needed to all week. We talked a lot and I ended up feeling a lot better after letting myself be sad the way I know I'm supposed to. I slept without a sleeping pill for the 1st time that night. I let myself grieve properly sunday too, and I ended up falling asleep again without a sleeping pill.

Sunday night he FINALLY came to me. I hadn't been remembering any of my dreams. I think I was too sad and sleeping so, so hard with those pills. But on Sunday I realized I was dreaming and remembering my dreams (I wake up all night) and I had fallen back asleep at one point and was dreaming about something dumb, I don't even remember and then John showed up in my dream and I don't think I realized it at first and then I did. and I started sobbing and said his name and he looked at me and said "oh finally!" like he had been trying all along. and I grabbed him by the face, I guess b/c I was remembering how everyone had said how good he looked. and I said "they said you looked so good" and he smirked like he did and I looked at him and he did look SO good. I can't even describe it. He just looked smooth and perfect and happy. Like none of the weight of the world had ever been on him. and I cried and cried and said "you do look good, I was so worried, you look so good" over and over and he held me and I think I was just so relived that I was seeing it too, and he was saying something but I can't remember but I woke up and I felt so different. Like I knew it was him and that he was okay.

I can just see his face still and I cant explain how good it feels to know hes okay. I wonder If my grief mixed with the sleeping pills were just keeping me from letting me see him or remember seeing him. I was hoping I'd get to see him again last night, but I didn't. Its okay though because he did finally get to me and I know now that hes okay, and it gives me a small, unbelievably needed sliver of peace.

I'd like to also mention that my best friend, cousin and his sister had not talked or shared their dreams with anyone but me. In all of their dreams John was wearing the same thing (an outfit he does own, and wears occasionally on his relaxing days, he did not pass in this outfit, his sister didnt even know he had the shorts she described), all said he wasn't wearing shoes (he always preferred to be barefoot), His face, hair and beard all looked the same in their dreams (different than when he passed, the way he kept it maybe... 3 years ago) He also looked that way in the dream I had of him, which is why I think I realized what was happening.

Hope this wasn't too long. I'd love to hear if anyone else has gotten any visits from their loved ones.

Thanks for allowing me to share

 

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FirstWasLast
5 hours ago, AlwaysDee said:

I was just thinking about posting this same question, great minds think alike. Here's the experience I've had the past few weeks.

My John was the ultimate "doubting thomas" when it came to the afterlife in our conversations, but I always made him promise that if something happened to one of us we would find SOME way to let the other one know we are okay. He promised me this so I have been looking for signs since the day he passed.

His death was a VERY sudden accident, and the day he died, my family had me sitting in my uncles truck waiting to go away from the scene. I was alone in the truck, hysterical and I kept praying and begging "please tell me your okay, please, please. Go to heaven, and tell me your okay" and the radio in the truck said the name of the song that was playing, and it switched to "Learning to fly" and I said okay, if this is you please I need more. and it switched again to say "Maybe I'm amazed" and I just felt in my heart that was him telling me he was okay. He always wanted to fly, and I he always would say "maybe im impressed" or "maybe Im surprised" in a joking kind of way. So that got me through that day.

The next few weeks, and still, I feel like I feel him in my heart, talking to him. So that has held me together, just talking with him. But I hadn't had anything that felt like him visiting me. The dr. put me on sleep meds the 4th day after bc I hadn't slept in 4 days so once I started those I was sleeping HARD.

My best friend found John when he passed, she had just lost the father of her child a few months before. So finding John was very traumatizing to her, and around the 6th day  before I went to bed I was praying and talking to John and I said "Please go to Jess, she needs you so bad. Please go to her" and I went to bed.

She woke me up that morning and the 1st thing she said was "John came to me" and she seemed so different than before. and she said she was dreaming, what seemed like a regular dream and she was going up the stairs of my house and John came out of his office. and she said he was SO bright. Like not golden, but just BEAMING bright. and she said he looked SO, SO good. Like he hadn't worked a day in his life, no dark circles under his eyes or swollen sinuses (which he had all the time), she said it was like he was photoshopped perfect and he was smiling so big. and she said it was so unexpected and he was so bright, real and perfect it scared her and startled her awake. she sat up and sat there for a while and then got up and used the bathroom and laid back down. she said she was barely asleep and she heard John clear as day sigh (which he was known for his long exasperated sigh lol) and say "lets try this again." and she said she was dreaming in my moms dining room and John was there again but a little less bright and she said she just hugged him and cried and she doesn't remember what he was saying to her but she knows he was holding her and comforting her. and then he was gone and she woke up.

a few days later my younger cousin woke up and said she had a dream that was like a regular dream. we were all sitting around the living room like we do talking and then she suddenly noticed John was sitting behind me staring at me and smiling in the dream. and she stopped and said "John?" and he looked at her like he was surprised she saw him  and he smiled at her and she said it was so real and the way he looked at her was so warm and real and shaking it woke her up. She said he looked so, so amazing.

By now, I'm like why isn't he coming to me? I don't understand at all...

I went and stayed with my In-Laws for a night and Johns sister came for dinner. She said "John came to me last night!" and said she was having a normal dream. John wasn't in it. She was with a bunch of family and co-workers and they were trying to break into her office building for some reason and she said she was in the building and turned around and all of a sudden John was there. and it shocked her b.c he was so out of place and she said "John? What are you doing here? Your gone, your not supposed to be here" and he smiled and shushed her (again something he was known for)  and gave her a giant hug and she woke up. and she said it was so, so different than any other dream. When I asked how he looked she said he looked "so, good." like my friend and cousin had said. Just his face was so, so perfect and happy. and she said she felt so much better.

So I was trying to take all these dreams as him being okay, and it made me feel good... but I still didnt understand why everyone else got to see him and I didnt. A week passed. And I know I wasn't letting myself grieve properly. I was stuffing down my tears, and just not doing well at all. It caught up with me over the weekend though and I had a bad panic attack. I stayed with my best friend on Saturday and finally broke down and had the cry I needed to all week. We talked a lot and I ended up feeling a lot better after letting myself be sad the way I know I'm supposed to. I slept without a sleeping pill for the 1st time that night. I let myself grieve properly sunday too, and I ended up falling asleep again without a sleeping pill.

Sunday night he FINALLY came to me. I hadn't been remembering any of my dreams. I think I was too sad and sleeping so, so hard with those pills. But on Sunday I realized I was dreaming and remembering my dreams (I wake up all night) and I had fallen back asleep at one point and was dreaming about something dumb, I don't even remember and then John showed up in my dream and I don't think I realized it at first and then I did. and I started sobbing and said his name and he looked at me and said "oh finally!" like he had been trying all along. and I grabbed him by the face, I guess b/c I was remembering how everyone had said how good he looked. and I said "they said you looked so good" and he smirked like he did and I looked at him and he did look SO good. I can't even describe it. He just looked smooth and perfect and happy. Like none of the weight of the world had ever been on him. and I cried and cried and said "you do look good, I was so worried, you look so good" over and over and he held me and I think I was just so relived that I was seeing it too, and he was saying something but I can't remember but I woke up and I felt so different. Like I knew it was him and that he was okay.

I can just see his face still and I cant explain how good it feels to know hes okay. I wonder If my grief mixed with the sleeping pills were just keeping me from letting me see him or remember seeing him. I was hoping I'd get to see him again last night, but I didn't. Its okay though because he did finally get to me and I know now that hes okay, and it gives me a small, unbelievably needed sliver of peace.

I'd like to also mention that my best friend, cousin and his sister had not talked or shared their dreams with anyone but me. In all of their dreams John was wearing the same thing (an outfit he does own, and wears occasionally on his relaxing days, he did not pass in this outfit, his sister didnt even know he had the shorts she described), all said he wasn't wearing shoes (he always preferred to be barefoot), His face, hair and beard all looked the same in their dreams (different than when he passed, the way he kept it maybe... 3 years ago) He also looked that way in the dream I had of him, which is why I think I realized what was happening.

Hope this wasn't too long. I'd love to hear if anyone else has gotten any visits from their loved ones.

Thanks for allowing me to share

 

Wow AlwaysDee, thank you so very much for that post! It wasn't long at all, it's exactly the kind of story I was hoping to get!

Unfortunately, I've never had a visitation dream until now. I dream of him almost every night, but I know it's just my brain missing him incredibly. In these dreams, he's usually sick but alive, and there's something going on that gives us hope he will get better. Waking up after this kind of dreams is like losing him all over again...

I did have one dream that leaves me uncertain, though, so I wonder if I could get your opinion. I dreamt that I was walking in the street were my partner lived, sad and my hands in my pockets, when I walked by his front door. In my dream I knew that he was dead and I thought that I wanted to visit his apartment one last time, but I hesitated for a second because I didn't have the keys to get in. His building had this huge entrance door that was too heavy to open completely, so it was always half-opened. In my dream, it was wide open and there was a blinding white light coming from the back, where there used to be a small patio. So I went in and up a few stairs until his apartment door, which was slightly open. I was surprised to find it like this and thought someone else was in there already, like his sons or his brothers to gather things, so I just peeked through the opening. Then I heard his voice : ''Come inside my love, come, come''. I entered the house, saw him in the kitchen, ran and hugged him so very tight. I don't remember if he was more handsome than usual -to me, he was the most handsome man on the planet anyway-, but I do remember him being much taller than me in that dream, which I noticed as I hugged him and my head rested on his chest, which never happened in real life because we were exactly the same height. I remember asking him frantically ''How are you? Are you alright?'', and although I don't remember exactly what he answered, he wasn't in a very good mood and seemed to be complaining about something. He certainly didn't say he was ok though. During the whole time he was complaining about this thing, all I remember was me thinking to myself ''Please take me with you, please take me with you''. It was a thought that was beating with such force inside my head, almost obsessively, but I couldn't bring myself to actually say it out loud to him. And that's all I remember :/ 

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Two months after Lori passed I had a very vivid very real dream of her. I woke up like clockwork when my dog just couldn't wait any longer to go outside for her morning routine. I was still tired so I laid back down for what I thought would be a quick nap. Well it wasn't a nap. I slept hard and got to that place where you dream those dreams that are real or at least a reasonable facsimile. Some dreams you seem to be an audience member where you see the action from a distance. Well this was one of those where you are fully involved. I dreamed of Lori. It wasn't like the other dreams I have had where she was in the periphery or just out of reach. It was a long dream and she was in it every step of the way. I got to hold her. I got to kiss her. I actually felt her in my arms as I hugged her. The second part of the dream I seemed to know the reality of the situation. It was a stunning instance of self awareness that is hard to explain especially in the "anything goes" realm of dreams. We were both aware that our life was changed and that she was gone but we still went through the routines of our life as we always had. Just the normal mundane tasks of the day that so many may find tedious or boring but were everything we always wanted. At the end I knew I had to go to work. I went to get ready and asked her if she could stay. We both knew the answer without having to say the words. I asked her if she would be there when I got back. She got up and walked out of the room. She turned her head stuck her tongue out at me and smiled. And then she was gone. It might be the best dream I have had in 45 years of existence. That's just over 16,000 opportunities to dream and I can't fathom that there has been a better one. I woke up and back to reality. BUT, I finally saw a ray of sunshine. I finally woke up with a smile.

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Moved my response to here since this topic double posted...
 

There was a time when I talked to social security and they told me I'd only get $200+/month, I begged them to doublecheck as I knew that couldn't be right, but they were just closing for a three day weekend.  I was distraught, anxiety fully kicked in, and had no choice but to wait three days before calling them back.  I later felt George's hand on my back, it felt physical, as physical as when he was here, it was very comforting and immediately stopped my anxiety, I knew everything would be okay.  I can't explain it, I don't know why we sometimes have things happen and other times don't, I can't control it by wishing for it, but that one moment will always be with me.

See Mitch's (Mittam) post on page two where the picture of the combs is...
http://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/index.php?/topic/10661-healing/&page=2

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4 hours ago, FirstWasLast said:

Wow AlwaysDee, thank you so very much for that post! It wasn't long at all, it's exactly the kind of story I was hoping to get!

Unfortunately, I've never had a visitation dream until now. I dream of him almost every night, but I know it's just my brain missing him incredibly. In these dreams, he's usually sick but alive, and there's something going on that gives us hope he will get better. Waking up after this kind of dreams is like losing him all over again...

I did have one dream that leaves me uncertain, though, so I wonder if I could get your opinion. I dreamt that I was walking in the street were my partner lived, sad and my hands in my pockets, when I walked by his front door. In my dream I knew that he was dead and I thought that I wanted to visit his apartment one last time, but I hesitated for a second because I didn't have the keys to get in. His building had this huge entrance door that was too heavy to open completely, so it was always half-opened. In my dream, it was wide open and there was a blinding white light coming from the back, where there used to be a small patio. So I went in and up a few stairs until his apartment door, which was slightly open. I was surprised to find it like this and thought someone else was in there already, like his sons or his brothers to gather things, so I just peeked through the opening. Then I heard his voice : ''Come inside my love, come, come''. I entered the house, saw him in the kitchen, ran and hugged him so very tight. I don't remember if he was more handsome than usual -to me, he was the most handsome man on the planet anyway-, but I do remember him being much taller than me in that dream, which I noticed as I hugged him and my head rested on his chest, which never happened in real life because we were exactly the same height. I remember asking him frantically ''How are you? Are you alright?'', and although I don't remember exactly what he answered, he wasn't in a very good mood and seemed to be complaining about something. He certainly didn't say he was ok though. During the whole time he was complaining about this thing, all I remember was me thinking to myself ''Please take me with you, please take me with you''. It was a thought that was beating with such force inside my head, almost obsessively, but I couldn't bring myself to actually say it out loud to him. And that's all I remember :/ 

I was having those dreams *about* him but definitely not visitation dreams too. Just like you, He was alive but sick and we were trying to find ways to fix him. or in one dream, we were trying to have him "donate", if you know what I mean, so that down the road I could have his children (something we were trying for)bt to no avail.. He always looked how he did recently in those dreams, so they seemed more like merging my memories with my regrets and fears and the dreams were always stressful and sad. and it was always like a story playing out..

In the dream that he visited me in, I don't know how to explain it... It felt different. Like I was more coherent and aware that it was a dream but he was the different factor.

Your dream might have been him, I feel like I *knew*, so maybe the more you try and think about it you'll be able to tell how you felt and how he felt. If it was him visiting, maybe he was upset that you were upset? Upset that you kept asking him to take you with him? Which he probably wouldn't want, its not your time and I'm sure that even though he loves you, and wants to be with you, he knows its not your time. I'm not sure how he passed or when but I've read that sometimes it takes a while for them to figure out how to come through. and like me, your grief may be so strong your brain wont let you let him in to protect yourself. As much as I wanted to see John I confess I was also a little scared to at the same time. I dont know why I was scared but that may have kept me from being open enough for him to get through?

This is sort of on topic, but I feel like it might be worth mentioning. John and I were never the "typical Christians". I def. believe in an afterlife and souls, and some sort of if you are good in your heart and soul everything will be right in the end. (just not the hells brimstone and fire i grew up with).. Anyways.. When I talk to John in my heart, his responses are very "John responses". Sometimes its what I needed to hear, sometimes its him being snarky, or giving me tough love. Its never "what I want to hear to make myself feel better" which is why, to me, I feel like we're still connected, and I'm not just blindly comforting myself with his voice telling me he loves me over and over. Sometimes its just a feeling. Like when we talk about something he would have found funny, I can feel him laughing, or when I wished to fall down the stairs and die I felt him angry at me.

Anyways, I keep asking what are you doing, what is it like, and its just nothing in response. In everything else I get a response but those, its like radio silence. and the only feeling I get is basically whatever is going on on the other side, we here on earth can't begin to comprehend.  He seems *busy* to me. Like whenever I feel him, or think about him I feel like...when he was here and he worked at home, he was next to me on the couch, but he was busy with work. He was there and talked to me, but his attention was definitely split and you could just tell he was busy. Thats how I feel like he feels to me now. I'm taking that to mean, hes busy trying to figure out how all this works (on his side), or hes busy trying to reach out to everyone who loves him and is grieving, or maybe its like my friend said "John loved his job, he loved to work, maybe they put him to work in heaven." lol that sounds silly im sure, but John wouldnt have been the type to float around in eternity relaxing, he'd find his way to Jesus and make sure his laptop was in great working order LOL... I don't actually think Johns working IT support up there, but the feeling I get is that hes doing something. Maybe its that Gods work thing people talk about. When I told his aunt what I was feeling she said "DONT TELL ME THAT! Im working on earth, I dont want to work in heaven!! I will not be happy if I get put to work up there!" lol

John and I were inseparable and all of this may be me trying to cope with my grief, but I know what I feel, I knew what it was like to be next to him for 13 years, and I cant see him anymore, but I still feel him... Only you know your love, maybe the more you focus in on everything the more you'll be able to figure out whats him and whats your grief?

Thank you for making this thread, its been very nice to talk about all of this

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TooDevastated

I never ever believed in anything supernatural but after my boyfriends very sudden and unexpected death, I have wished and hoped with all my heart that a form of afterlife is real and he isnt all gone and I will be united with him one day.

The week after he died is all blurry. I dont remember much. I didnt sleep. I didnt cry. I think I just laid in bed in shock and stared at the ceiling. My family was on holiday. My friends were away so I was almost all alone during that time...

But during the following weeks, I started having naps every night for an hour or two at a time. I spoke to him wishing he'd hear me. I had "signs" that he was with me. 

First of all, I told him I would never let him go and death couldnt do us part and he had to keep me warm and safe everynight as he promised he would. That he would always have his 17% of the bed (that was a joke that we used to make). Then I saw a moth landed on his side. As soon as I saw it, it flew and landed on my chest! He loved bugs and bees and butterflies so it felt as though it was really him telling me he was with me. Supporting me and listening to me and confirming that he'd keep his promises. 

A few days after, his sister sent me a picture of an orange butterfly landed on her kitchen table in front of her and she thought it was him as they had an orange butterfly visit them from time to time after their father died too. That same day, I was walking down a busy street to the hospital (to get a sedative shot so I could get some sleep) with sunglasses on and puffy eyes so I wasnt paying attention to anything. Then my friend pointed (she didnt know anything about the photo his sister sent me) there was a butterfly flying around my head. She tried to hold it but it was like the butterfly was only interested in flying around me all cheerful. I live in a busy city where anyone barely sees butterflies and this butterfly was orange and beautiful. Its almost zero chances to run into a beautiful big butterfly like that in a crowded polluted city. Loads of beautiful patterns on it. It even landed on my head. And then flew away up to the sky.

In the next week, one night I woke up crying and thinking that he would never be there to hold my hand again. I was devastated and drowning in my cries. Then I felt someone hold my hand very tight! I dont know if I weny crazy, or I have been hallucinating or something. But I felt my hand being held and fingers bent with the pressure. Then my night lamp started to make a weird noise and flickered and fuses at home blown. 

We got them fixed up the day after. But after that, I have been seeing the lights flicker so many times especially when I am alone and crying and feeling lonely and desparate.

Sometimes, I would be at home eating alone or sat in the car and I would feel something rubbing my hair or cheeks. I knew these to be his presence as well. 

So I started believing he is around me and he is doing his best to comfort me. I thought maybe his spirit was trying to tell me something so I had fixed up a reading session with one of the most famous mediums in UK but that turned out to be a scam. I still think he is trying to tell me something but have no means of knowing unfortunately.

I dreamt of him a few times and I forgot what I dreamt about everytime. It was very disappointing.

I dont know if it was a visitation dream or not but I remember only one dream of him from last week. He came to bed and lied next to me. We both knew he was dead. And we didnt talk about it. He kissed me and he held me and told me he came over to get his holiday maps (he used to buy maps for wherever we went to and loved looking up places from his folded little maps). I have no idea what that dream means.

So anyways. I did have "signs" from him. And believing that he is still around me has been the only thing that kept me going so far. 

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36 minutes ago, KayC said:

Moved my response to here since this topic double posted...
 

There was a time when I talked to social security and they told me I'd only get $200+/month, I begged them to doublecheck as I knew that couldn't be right, but they were just closing for a three day weekend.  I was distraught, anxiety fully kicked in, and had no choice but to wait three days before calling them back.  I later felt George's hand on my back, it felt physical, as physical as when he was here, it was very comforting and immediately stopped my anxiety, I knew everything would be okay.  I can't explain it, I don't know why we sometimes have things happen and other times don't, I can't control it by wishing for it, but that one moment will always be with me.

See Mitch's (Mittam) post on page two where the picture of the combs is...
http://www.gri'efhealingdiscussiongroups.com/index.php?/topic/10661-healing/&page=2

My grams' "fella" told me the first week of Johns passing that he would visit me and "not to let it scare" me. He lost his wife around 10 years ago and said the first time he knew she was around he walked into the house and it smelled really strongly of her perfume, the second time, he said late at night in bed he heard her sneeze, another time he said he felt her lay down next to him in bed and put her arms around him.

I haven't had anything physical happen while I'm awake, Though a lot of his music has been playing on the radio, and its things they *never* play on the radio (harder metal bands, really obscure stuff). Music was a huge, huge part of his life so I think if he was going to send me signs while I was awake it would be through music. We weren't the butterfly on my hand as a sign kind of couple. We watched a lot of TV and movies too (he prided himself on his extensive collection of tv and movies), we didn't have cable but my mom who I'm staying with for awhile does, and since I've been here, all his and our favorites have been on every other channel. My mom had said "there's never anything good on here usually, and now its like Johns running the cable company!"

My grief councilor said God works in mysterious ways, and these are probably just coincidences, but anything that makes me stop and think of him and smile is a warm welcome from the everyday loneliness and sadness,

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47 minutes ago, TooDevastated said:

I never ever believed in anything supernatural but after my boyfriends very sudden and unexpected death, I have wished and hoped with all my heart that a form of afterlife is real and he isnt all gone and I will be united with him one day.

The week after he died is all blurry. I dont remember much. I didnt sleep. I didnt cry. I think I just laid in bed in shock and stared at the ceiling. My family was on holiday. My friends were away so I was almost all alone during that time...

But during the following weeks, I started having naps every night for an hour or two at a time. I spoke to him wishing he'd hear me. I had "signs" that he was with me. 

First of all, I told him I would never let him go and death couldnt do us part and he had to keep me warm and safe everynight as he promised he would. That he would always have his 17% of the bed (that was a joke that we used to make). Then I saw a moth landed on his side. As soon as I saw it, it flew and landed on my chest! He loved bugs and bees and butterflies so it felt as though it was really him telling me he was with me. Supporting me and listening to me and confirming that he'd keep his promises. 

A few days after, his sister sent me a picture of an orange butterfly landed on her kitchen table in front of her and she thought it was him as they had an orange butterfly visit them from time to time after their father died too. That same day, I was walking down a busy street to the hospital (to get a sedative shot so I could get some sleep) with sunglasses on and puffy eyes so I wasnt paying attention to anything. Then my friend pointed (she didnt know anything about the photo his sister sent me) there was a butterfly flying around my head. She tried to hold it but it was like the butterfly was only interested in flying around me all cheerful. I live in a busy city where anyone barely sees butterflies and this butterfly was orange and beautiful. Its almost zero chances to run into a beautiful big butterfly like that in a crowded polluted city. Loads of beautiful patterns on it. It even landed on my head. And then flew away up to the sky.

In the next week, one night I woke up crying and thinking that he would never be there to hold my hand again. I was devastated and drowning in my cries. Then I felt someone hold my hand very tight! I dont know if I weny crazy, or I have been hallucinating or something. But I felt my hand being held and fingers bent with the pressure. Then my night lamp started to make a weird noise and flickered and fuses at home blown. 

We got them fixed up the day after. But after that, I have been seeing the lights flicker so many times especially when I am alone and crying and feeling lonely and desparate.

Sometimes, I would be at home eating alone or sat in the car and I would feel something rubbing my hair or cheeks. I knew these to be his presence as well. 

So I started believing he is around me and he is doing his best to comfort me. I thought maybe his spirit was trying to tell me something so I had fixed up a reading session with one of the most famous mediums in UK but that turned out to be a scam. I still think he is trying to tell me something but have no means of knowing unfortunately.

I dreamt of him a few times and I forgot what I dreamt about everytime. It was very disappointing.

I dont know if it was a visitation dream or not but I remember only one dream of him from last week. He came to bed and lied next to me. We both knew he was dead. And we didnt talk about it. He kissed me and he held me and told me he came over to get his holiday maps (he used to buy maps for wherever we went to and loved looking up places from his folded little maps). I have no idea what that dream means.

So anyways. I did have "signs" from him. And believing that he is still around me has been the only thing that kept me going so far. 

Those are great signs! I've seen a lot of butterflies recently, and my MIL had said she picked out a butterfly broach he had gotten her years ago for his service b/c she felt like John led her to it and she had forgotten all about it. People say butterflies are messengers from heaven. John was not the butterfly type of person though so I've had a hard time linking that to him.

I think anything that makes you think of them is a good thing. I was having a very hard time, looking at pictures, watching his shows, hearing his music, really anything that reminded me of him without just being unbelievably sad. But after the dream where he visited me I've felt a little lighter, and i've been able to be around his memories and while im still sad, and miss him unbearably, the memory's make me happy, rather than sad. (at least for now. im told it will come in waves)

I hate to hear your medium visit was a scam... I have toyed with the idea of seeing one... John was *not* a believer of that and thought they were all crocks. I've always been more open minded about it. I feel like every time I think about it he rolls his eyes at me lol. But I really want to hear from him and so much has changed since he passed, I know there's an afterlife now, maybe he would re-evaluate his ideas on the subject. As of now if something leads me that way I'll do it but I wont search it out unless it feels right... I also read on a few mediums sites that its best to come a few months after your loved one has passed... I'm only on week 4

I think Johns visitation dream dawned on me that it was him visiting because we both knew he was gone. unlike the regular dreams of him, this one we were both very aware of the situation...

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1 hour ago, AlwaysDee said:

I was having those dreams *about* him but definitely not visitation dreams too. Just like you, He was alive but sick and we were trying to find ways to fix him. or in one dream, we were trying to have him "donate", if you know what I mean, so that down the road I could have his children (something we were trying for)bt to no avail.. He always looked how he did recently in those dreams, so they seemed more like merging my memories with my regrets and fears and the dreams were always stressful and sad. and it was always like a story playing out..

In the dream that he visited me in, I don't know how to explain it... It felt different. Like I was more coherent and aware that it was a dream but he was the different factor.

Your dream might have been him, I feel like I *knew*, so maybe the more you try and think about it you'll be able to tell how you felt and how he felt. If it was him visiting, maybe he was upset that you were upset? Upset that you kept asking him to take you with him? Which he probably wouldn't want, its not your time and I'm sure that even though he loves you, and wants to be with you, he knows its not your time. I'm not sure how he passed or when but I've read that sometimes it takes a while for them to figure out how to come through.

I lost my grandma three years ago and it was a big loss for me since she was the one to raise me. The first nights after her death I remember frantically googleing ''How to communicate with the dead'' and stuff like that. I had a dream one of these nights, of me running outside a building into a very bright and crowded streets, with people walking everywhere, and as I looked to the right I saw my grandma turning to me, smiling and the walking away into a blinding white light with other people. In that dream, I just KNEW it was her visiting, saying she's crossing over to the other side and that she's well. A couple of years later, I dreamt of her again, she looked much younger and really gorgeous. She had come to visit my new apartment and at some point she said she had to leave because my aunt had come to pick her up. At that point, she hugged me tight and told me ''I want you to know that you're the one more than anyone else''. In that dream too, I knew it was her. 

So I definitely know what you mean about it feeling different than just any dream. The feeling I got in the one I had with my partner was unclear, kind of halfway between a regular dream and a visitation. Also, I felt that him being upset wasn't about me, but rather something else which I never found out, because in reality while he was talking and complaining, I was deafened by my own thoughts of wanting to ask him to take me with him. But like I said, I never actually said it out loud to him, so he probably wouldn't know.

However, me wanting to go find him is an almost obsessive thought I've had since I lost him, and even earlier than that. During his very last weeks, even though I was in full denial of his upcoming death, I remember that the possibility of me going to find him *if* he ever died was the only thought that actually gave me some comfort and made it all a little more bearable. So, if he can somehow sense my intentions, he definitely knows.

The thought of him needing some time to figure out how to come through is very interesting though... He died of cancer and he was cremated afterwards, so with this brainfog that I have I've also been thinking that maybe him dying of a disease or his body being burned somehow made contact difficult... Who knows, really?

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I have had a couple dreams but not sure if they were visitation dreams, although they were very comforting. Something else that did happen that I have come to take as a sign has to do with a watch I gave Lily years ago. Early in our relationship, I bought her a very nice watch that she absolutely loved. She always wore it and hardly took it off. Last year, she wanted one of those new smart watches so I got her one and she stopped wearing the first watch. I didn't think about it much. Earlier this year after packing her things together, I realized that I didn't see the first watch among her things. I wondered where it was and thought maybe she gave it to a family member or lost it and didn't mention it to me. Oh, well. I thought. She used to have all of her previous photo IDs and she had shown them to me once and I loved looking at them, seeing her in her younger years before I met her. I thought about those as well since I didn't come across them either. Well, a couple of days later I went through a drawer in my bathroom (we each had our own so we wouldn't be in each other's way in the morning when getting dressed for work) and I knew she kept some toiletries in the drawer but I wanted to look through it for some reason. Well, I found a small bag of hers where she used to keep her medications and in it was that watch and her old IDs! I couldn't believe it! There were the things I was thinking about and longing for. What are the odds I thought! I couldn't believe it that both the watch and her IDs were in that little bag waiting for me to find them. I am convinced she made that happen. Maybe something told her to put them together in there and she later led me to look through that drawer. I wear the watch now every day and keep the IDs in my purse, always with me.

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3 hours ago, Eagle-96 said:

Two months after Lori passed I had a very vivid very real dream of her. I woke up like clockwork when my dog just couldn't wait any longer to go outside for her morning routine. I was still tired so I laid back down for what I thought would be a quick nap. Well it wasn't a nap. I slept hard and got to that place where you dream those dreams that are real or at least a reasonable facsimile. Some dreams you seem to be an audience member where you see the action from a distance. Well this was one of those where you are fully involved. I dreamed of Lori. It wasn't like the other dreams I have had where she was in the periphery or just out of reach. It was a long dream and she was in it every step of the way. I got to hold her. I got to kiss her. I actually felt her in my arms as I hugged her. The second part of the dream I seemed to know the reality of the situation. It was a stunning instance of self awareness that is hard to explain especially in the "anything goes" realm of dreams. We were both aware that our life was changed and that she was gone but we still went through the routines of our life as we always had. Just the normal mundane tasks of the day that so many may find tedious or boring but were everything we always wanted. At the end I knew I had to go to work. I went to get ready and asked her if she could stay. We both knew the answer without having to say the words. I asked her if she would be there when I got back. She got up and walked out of the room. She turned her head stuck her tongue out at me and smiled. And then she was gone. It might be the best dream I have had in 45 years of existence. That's just over 16,000 opportunities to dream and I can't fathom that there has been a better one. I woke up and back to reality. BUT, I finally saw a ray of sunshine. I finally woke up with a smile.

Wow...I don't know if I'd wake up serene or devastated from that kind of dream...

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1 hour ago, AlwaysDee said:

My grams' "fella" told me the first week of Johns passing that he would visit me and "not to let it scare" me. He lost his wife around 10 years ago and said the first time he knew she was around he walked into the house and it smelled really strongly of her perfume, the second time, he said late at night in bed he heard her sneeze, another time he said he felt her lay down next to him in bed and put her arms around him.

I've smelled my parter too on some occasions! It's completely random but I'm wide awake and definitely not hallucinating.

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About a week after my boyfriend's death, I had a vivid dream. In the dream, I woke up on bed and he was lying next to me. I cooked breakfast for him. I kissed him and said "good morning", he just smiled back. We had breakfast together and he had to leave, for work or somewhere. It's just like normal life of couples, but nothing like these had happened IRL because we were in LDR. He only said one thing in the dream. When he left the house, he said "I'm going." And then I woke up from the dream with tears. I can't tell if it's just something that I wish or it's really him, saying "I'm going." I keep thinking was he trying to tell me that he had to go? That's one dream that I remember clearly, and I choose to believe that it's a "sign" from him. 

It's two months now. For about month and a half, I couldnt bear the loss, I begged him for coming back everyday. I had dreams almost every night after his death, and most of it were telling me that "he's gone". Sometimes it's told by himself, sometimes it's just a message stating that he's gone. But lately I started to know how to live with the pain, and learn to accept what happened. There's no more dreams about "he's gone." Instead, I had a rare good(or weird?) dream. I saw him with some people, some people that I dont know. I saw a girl standing next to him and asked him if he's cheating on me (dunno why i asked such question), and he said no, I love you, even though I'm not there with you now, but i will never cheat on you. And then we were just chatting, saying how much we love each other. When I woke up from the dream that day, it's the first time I felt relieved after his death. 

it might be just something affected by my thoughts, but I took these as "signs" from him, and these keep me alive. 

Maybe a bit off-topic but, my boyfriend is the one who can "feel" spirits. His parents passed away years ago and sometimes he "felt" them, walking around in the house. I don't know if he really saw them or what. Sometimes I wish I can feel him, like how he felt his parents. And from the fact that he can feel his parents, I believe his spirit is still here.

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43 minutes ago, AlwaysDee said:

I think anything that makes you think of them is a good thing. I was having a very hard time, looking at pictures, watching his shows, hearing his music, really anything that reminded me of him without just being unbelievably sad. But after the dream where he visited me I've felt a little lighter, and i've been able to be around his memories and while im still sad, and miss him unbearably, the memory's make me happy, rather than sad. (at least for now. im told it will come in waves)

It definitely comes in waves, and you can't really plan it. I have really bad days, usually 3 or 4 in a row, then a couple of days were I'm a little more calm or at least numb. There are no days in which I'm actually well, but there can be tiny moments. This scheme isn't absolute, so every time I'm in an ''average'' and not a ''bad'' day and catch myself starting to get dark thoughts, I literally think ''Don't get sad now, you'll be having a bad day very soon, so keep the sadness for then''. At least it's a kind of balance.

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17 minutes ago, KylieL said:

Maybe a bit off-topic but, my boyfriend is the one who can "feel" spirits. His parents passed away years ago and sometimes he "felt" them, walking around in the house. I don't know if he really saw them or what. Sometimes I wish I can feel him, like how he felt his parents. And from the fact that he can feel his parents, I believe his spirit is still here.

I feel like some people just have that sensibility, and some don't. I know I probably don't. My rational side explains the possibility of sensing or seeing spirits as some kind of elaborate wishful thinking, like your brain is tricking you into seeing that kind of stuff to comfort you. And quite frankly, I don't know if i'd be relieved or devastated by such experience...

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14 minutes ago, FirstWasLast said:

Wow...I don't know if I'd wake up serene or devastated from that kind of dream...

I woke up so happy because we did the things in my dream that we did in our life. The mundane day to day things that made us so happy. I got to hug her and really feel her in my arms for the first time in almost three months. 

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When my partner was still alive, I had gone to a month-long trip to Spain without him. When I was in Barcelona, a city he knew very well, he told me to go to a coffee shop by the sea that he really loved, and said that while looking at the sea, the first breeze I'd feel around my neck would be him caressing and kissing it. It was such a beautiful thing back then, and now, when I feel a breeze caressing my neck, I like to think that it's him. It's not really an actual visitation, but who knows, maybe after all it is him. 

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3 minutes ago, Eagle-96 said:

I woke up so happy because we did the things in my dream that we did in our life. The mundane day to day things that made us so happy. I got to hug her and really feel her in my arms for the first time in almost three months. 

Oh absolutely, the mundane things are what I'd sell my soul for right now. The reason I don't know if I'd be happy or devastated is because upon waking up, maybe I'd almost feel like losing him again.

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20 minutes ago, FirstWasLast said:

It definitely comes in waves, and you can't really plan it. I have really bad days, usually 3 or 4 in a row, then a couple of days were I'm a little more calm or at least numb. There are no days in which I'm actually well, but there can be tiny moments. This scheme isn't absolute, so every time I'm in an ''average'' and not a ''bad'' day and catch myself starting to get dark thoughts, I literally think ''Don't get sad now, you'll be having a bad day very soon, so keep the sadness for then''. At least it's a kind of balance.

I've learned to accept the good moments for what they are and to embrace ANY happiness(or something approaching happiness) when I can. I agree that there is, and will be, plenty of sadness to go around so take the good when you can get it.

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On 8/23/2017 at 8:31 AM, AlwaysDee said:

My grief councilor said God works in mysterious ways, and these are probably just coincidences, but anything that makes me stop and think of him and smile is a warm welcome from the everyday loneliness and sadness,

I wouldn't chalk it up to coincidences.  There are people who believe and people who do not.  Sounds like your counselor does not.  That's okay for him/her.  For you, keep open, and choose to believe what makes sense to you and brings you comfort so you don't miss out on that comfort.  It was maybe ten years out before I felt his hand on my back and just that one time and I don't know anyone else that has been through that.  I've had very few dreams of him over the years, took me 1-2 years to have my first.  In the dream I got mad at him (we rarely ever got mad) and demanded to know where he'd been!  When I woke up I was upset that I wasted my dream time with him getting mad at him for being gone (having been dead).  Silly!  I don't feel I have much control over my dreams but some dream experts say we can learn to bring them on, it might be worth checking out if it'd help you.  When I see a rainbow I can't help but think of him because there was a triple rainbow amidst a thunder and lightening storm of quite magnitude the moment he died.  Hummingbirds are another sign for me as they were very special to us.  Also dragonflies.  Pansies.  I told my pansy story here once...George called them "the smiling flower", they were "our" flower.  When he died we'd had a bumper crop of them on our deck (hanging, it's on a hill so the deck is on stilts).  One year later a pansy emerged beneath the deck, it had survived through great snowstorms and freezing winter, that had never happened with any other flower we'd ever planted!  And it happened just that once.  I think George made it happen as a sign to me, it was one year after he died.  Others can think what they want, they can't dissuade me.

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On 8/22/2017 at 1:42 PM, Francine said:

As a whole, I don't normally have dreams, but this one particular dream was so vivid that I remember every aspect of it and shared it with this forum as well as my grief counselor.  To sum it up, I believe my Charles was telling me that he was waiting for me at home (heaven) and not to rush things, that in time, I would join him.  That dream brought me peace.  On another occasion, I was really in a deep dark place and I prayed and prayed asking God to give me a sign that my Charles was OK and if I knew that, than I could be OK.  I was given that reassurance and again, I posted it on this forum.   God revealed to me that my Charles was OK - I was not asleep but I felt this shadow that literally went from my head to my feet - it's hard to explain but it was sort of like an eclipse and then a feeling of utter peace and a reassurance that my Charles was OK - no words spoken but that peace that touched my heart was all that was needed.  I knew then it was true.   That was the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced.

That is all I'd need or want.  I don't recall questioning if George was okay, to me heaven is a wonderful place, I can't wait to go there!

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On 8/22/2017 at 9:24 PM, AlwaysDee said:

I can just see his face still and I cant explain how good it feels to know hes okay.

I'm glad you all had your dreams and got to see that he looks good and relaxed, they were consistent and there's no doubt it was a visitation to let you know he's okay.

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On 8/23/2017 at 6:36 AM, Eagle-96 said:

It might be the best dream I have had in 45 years of existence.

I'm sure it was!  I haven't had dreams of the caliber some of you have, I'm not sure why.  I've learned not to put too much stock in their absence, I'm going on faith until we can be together again, although I would welcome ANY dream with George in it.  I've had some but nothing notable.  In the beginning it bothered me that other people seemed to get dreams of their loved one and I didn't, I couldn't understand it when we were EVERYTHING to each other and always together!  He's on my mind all the time, so you'd think he'd make his way into my dreams, but maybe I have them and don't have memory of them when I wake up.  I just know it's not a measure of our love or how important we are to each other...I don't want anyone else to worry if they don't have them like some do.  I've heard that some are more receptive to visits than others, although I don't understand any of that and don't know what blocks them.  I know we'll be together again and that's what counts for me.

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On 8/23/2017 at 7:41 AM, AlwaysDee said:

the only feeling I get is basically whatever is going on on the other side, we here on earth can't begin to comprehend.

That could very well be and makes sense to me!  I appreciate your response to First Was Last.

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On 8/23/2017 at 7:47 AM, TooDevastated said:

He loved bugs and bees and butterflies so it felt as though it was really him telling me he was with me.

This is the thing I've noticed about "signs", they seem to be something that meant something to our loved one and us, something special that others wouldn't get.

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On 8/23/2017 at 8:31 AM, AlwaysDee said:

Music was a huge, huge part of his life so I think if he was going to send me signs while I was awake it would be through music.

Again, I feel the signs we get are something we would recognize as such but others wouldn't get, something special to the two of us.

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On 8/23/2017 at 9:16 AM, Lulu said:

I wear the watch now every day and keep the IDs in my purse, always with me.

That is so special!  I carry George's driver's license with me to this day.  Someone told me it was illegal to carry someone else's, and I replied, "Just let them DARE to try and take it from me!"  I don't think a cop alive would take a woman's dead partner's driver's license away from her.  There has to be some humanity left!

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On 8/23/2017 at 9:40 AM, KylieL said:

it might be just something affected by my thoughts, but I took these as "signs" from him, and these keep me alive. 

Then that's how you should take it!

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On 8/23/2017 at 10:03 AM, FirstWasLast said:

when I feel a breeze caressing my neck, I like to think that it's him. It's not really an actual visitation, but who knows, maybe after all it is him. 

You seem to be skeptical but why not think of it as from him.  You know he'd be sending it if he could. :)

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On 8/23/2017 at 10:06 AM, FirstWasLast said:

Oh absolutely, the mundane things are what I'd sell my soul for right now. The reason I don't know if I'd be happy or devastated is because upon waking up, maybe I'd almost feel like losing him again.

I've heard people that felt that way.  Me, I think I'd take any dream of him I could get.  It's not like I don't know he's gone when I wake up anyway, why not have a brief reprieve?

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On "I lost my husband and the will to live" thread I posted one instance and thought that this is the right post to share the instance, please share your thoughts on my experience:

 

"once I reached home after work, I was missing my husband , around 8:30 pm my sister reached home after work. She put her phone on charging and sit besides me. I was crying that time and missing my husband so badly, suddenly a song started to playing and we were so confused where this sound coming from, we checked my phone, my husband phone and tv and lastly we found that this song playing in my sister's phone. We were so amazed that without touching her phone , how music started playing online, and that song was so meaningful because that song was also related to death and life.

I am sure that my Goli played that song for me to give me some kind of comfort,  I read multiple post online that deceased person gives us sign and I thinks this is his way to give me sign, what you guys think, am I right or I am just missing him so badly & now believing these things.

Please do reply on this if anyone ever faced the same."

 

Please do share your experience.

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5 hours ago, LoveGoli said:

On "I lost my husband and the will to live" thread I posted one instance and thought that this is the right post to share the instance, please share your thoughts on my experience:

 

"once I reached home after work, I was missing my husband , around 8:30 pm my sister reached home after work. She put her phone on charging and sit besides me. I was crying that time and missing my husband so badly, suddenly a song started to playing and we were so confused where this sound coming from, we checked my phone, my husband phone and tv and lastly we found that this song playing in my sister's phone. We were so amazed that without touching her phone , how music started playing online, and that song was so meaningful because that song was also related to death and life.

I am sure that my Goli played that song for me to give me some kind of comfort,  I read multiple post online that deceased person gives us sign and I thinks this is his way to give me sign, what you guys think, am I right or I am just missing him so badly & now believing these things.

Please do reply on this if anyone ever faced the same."

 

Please do share your experience.

Well, something kind of similar happened to me yesterday... I was at the beach (I was actually dragged there, with no real desire on my behalf to actually go), and I wasn't well at all. On top of my usual lack of wellbeing, upon arriving I had seen a couple with a visible age difference -just like me and my partner-, just being together, laughing, drinking coffee, kissing, putting suncream on each other's back... They looked so carefree and happy together that it just made my heart sink, all I could think of was that this could have been us, this SHOULD have been us! I felt like drowning and at that point, a song came up in the beach bar, which is really not a popular song, or at least the kind you'd hear playing at beach bars. But it was the very first song that I had played to my partner, back when we weren't together yet. And a few songs later, came a second song, also not very popular, which was among our favourite during the last months. Small detail: the song lyrics translate as ''even if you leave and travel around the globe, you'll be mine forever, we'll be together forever. And I won't miss you, and you won't miss me, because my soul will be the song that follows you''. I'm getting emotional right now writing all of this! But at that moment, I felt very confused and upset. I wasn't sure it was him, I still am not... I simply don't know...

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8 hours ago, KayC said:

You seem to be skeptical but why not think of it as from him.  You know he'd be sending it if he could. :)

I am skeptical, probably because I'm still so upset inside of me that I just...don't know. Check my latest reply to LoveGoli in this thread and you'll understand.

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I did read it but I don't understand your skepticism, I guess because we are different people that respond differently.  I hope you get some peace.

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45 minutes ago, KayC said:

I did read it but I don't understand your skepticism, I guess because we are different people that respond differently.  I hope you get some peace.

I sincerely wish I could see it the way you do, feel some relieve with these signs. Where I'm actually at, if I consider it a sign, it hurts, and if I consider it a coincidence, it hurts too. Exactly like you said, I need peace.

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44 minutes ago, FirstWasLast said:

I sincerely wish I could see it the way you do, feel some relieve with these signs. Where I'm actually at, if I consider it a sign, it hurts, and if I consider it a coincidence, it hurts too. Exactly like you said, I need peace.

That's really what we're all looking for in this process. A little peace. Some of us encounter the unexplained and see a sign from our soulmate. Some see mere coincidence. Some just don't know what to think. ALL of these are valid responses to have, especially in light of our current states of mind. Whether we believe in an afterlife or not doesn't matter. What matters is if seeing these signs and believing in them helps in our healing process. I confess that I simply don't know. I'd like to believe that Lori(or God) sends signs but I think there are a lot of things we don't understand. When people see a feather, cardinal, firefly, etc... and it makes them feel good, then GOOD. We need all the good feelings we can get now so I don't and won't begrudge anyone who holds on to signs as a lifeline. 

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Something else did happen a few weeks ago that I believe was a sign from Lily. I have been asking for a sign or a visit from her, and feeling like I was not being heard. One day, on my way out the door to work, I looked at her picture and said, Lily please give me a sign that you are listening to me. Please you have to give me something, and I have to know it's from you. Please! I then decided to drive the car she used to drive instead of mine, and when I tried to move the gear stick into reverse, it wouldn't budge! I tried and it was stuck. I had just driven the car a couple days before and no issues came up, so this was weird. After a few minutes, it moved. I then moved it back to park and tried again. It got stuck again. I did this about three times. Finally, after I pulled out of the driveway, I said Lily was that you? Please let everything go alright with the car now, please no more problems with the gear shift. If was you, please make everything work okay. Well, no issues since! When I went to lunch that day and then when I left work, the gear shift worked just fine and I haven't had any issues with it since. This never happened before, so I do believe it was her! Some may think it was a coincidence, and I have had those thoughts too, but if I am asking for a sign and I get it, then I have to believe! If i want her to send me more signs, then I have to believe them when I receive them! I haven't had anymore signs since then, or maybe they have been subtle and I have missed them, but I have hope and truly believe she is with me and can hear me. I still get sad that I haven't had a visitation dream, but I know one day, I will. Maybe she is still recovering from the pain and suffering she endured or maybe I have to relax and let some of this deep grief lift. But, I know she is with me. I just wish I could see and hug her!

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19 hours ago, FirstWasLast said:

I sincerely wish I could see it the way you do, feel some relieve with these signs. Where I'm actually at, if I consider it a sign, it hurts, and if I consider it a coincidence, it hurts too. Exactly like you said, I need peace.

It may change...I know I have really gone the gamut in my grief journey, it's like a roller coaster ride only not so fun. :(

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17 hours ago, Lulu said:

I know she is with me. I just wish I could see and hug her!

And that's the main thing, that you know she's with you.  That alone brings so much comfort!

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Yes, your loved ones will come visit you if you allow them to do so.

I'm just shy of 2-months into this but my wife has come to me several times.   She moved items around my house on at least 3 occasions.  She also came to me in a dream visitation.   

If you keep and open mind and believe that anything is possible, they will come.  

Rest assured though, even with these visits, you will still miss them dearly.   For me, I am still miserable.   I only want to be with my wife again, nothing else.   I am so ready to leave this physical plane... I want to cross over to the other side.

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I feel like I have been visited from 2 dreams since my love's death in April. I have been very busy so I have not been grieving as much as I am busy doing university work... but he is always going to be the love of my life. I might describe the dreams?

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1 hour ago, WaHaaf99 said:

I feel like I have been visited from 2 dreams since my love's death in April. I have been very busy so I have not been grieving as much as I am busy doing university work... but he is always going to be the love of my life. I might describe the dreams?

Please do describe them if you don't mind!

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1 hour ago, Azipod said:

Rest assured though, even with these visits, you will still miss them dearly.   For me, I am still miserable.   I only want to be with my wife again, nothing else.   I am so ready to leave this physical plane... I want to cross over to the other side.

You're right, that's why in a previous post I said that whether I consider any visitation/sign a real thing or a coincidence, it hurts. In any case, I too know that true relief will only come when my heart stops beating. 

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26 minutes ago, FirstWasLast said:

Please do describe them if you don't mind!

28 April 2017. (4 days after his death.) - My first dream was within the first week that he had passed away. It started as a normal subconscious dream. It was very strange like all my dreams I guess, but he was in the dream too. Then we went into a room together. This is when it changed suddenly. I was sitting down next to him and I remember I held my hand to him and smiled. He smiled back at me and he grabbed my hand and we held hands smiling. I remember then I was sitting on the opposite side, but for a second. I made a fist with that hand because I remember I had to do something with my hand and I remember that even though I did that, he still held my fist. I remember feeling his hands, they felt drier than my hands but they felt bigger and life-like. He didn't say anything. (I have noticed that in both dreams... he could not speak.) My hand felt warm/sweaty and as I said something/asked him something... he voice was cut. Like he was about to say something but he couldn't. Then I woke up.

7 August 2017. - The second dream was also strange in the beginning but then it changed. So I am going to describe it the way that I wrote my dream. "Suddenly I was sitting next to my love on a concrete bench. It was so cute because he was wearing his bluish/navy shirt and his chain necklace but instead of the silver, it was like a goldish silver look. I don't think he had a hat on but I don't remember. Anyway, I remember he looked at me... made a kiss gesture real quickly with his mouth to me, but as he was doing that he was looking away because there was this group of boys walking past us or in front of us as I was on campus. (I am in university.) I remember he was not a fan of PDA but I didn't care about that. I remember hugging him afterwards and I could feel his body, his shirt, his chest, his arms on me. I couldn't smell him though. He didn't say anything. He tried to spell something with his hands but I couldn't understand what it was. A short word... E was the last letter. Maybe it was "love" for me? Anyway, I said I can't understand (Portuguese) well anymore. I smiled and he smiled and I grabbed him and hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I held him in my arms and I could feel his arms on my arms as I hugged him from behind. I tried to smell him but I couldn't and as I held him, I suddenly could hear my TV playing in the background. Something triggered my OCD but I was not in the mood for the compulsions so I slowly did them and redid the compulsions later. I could still slightly feel him on me for a minute. Also 2 fingers on my right hand were numb, the ring finger and small finger. My other hand was numb but not as numb. Then the feeling went away. Opinions on my dreams?

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On 8/24/2017 at 9:06 PM, KayC said:

I'm glad you all had your dreams and got to see that he looks good and relaxed, they were consistent and there's no doubt it was a visitation to let you know he's okay.

absolutely.. I was hoping I'd get to see him more.. that he would come and visit me more in my dreams. I'm not taking the sleeping pills anymore and I feel like I can handle seeing him now, since I have once, but I haven't seen him again. I guess I was given what I needed and I should be glad of that, and hopefully one day again it will happen when I need him.

The dream and seeing how good he looked really helped with my anxiety. I dont know if anyone has it like me, but my anxiety replays the worst picture, worst scenario, worst anything over and over and over in my head. Even if it is absurd or never happened and wouldn't have happened my anxiety latches on and will even make up awful pictures for it to feed off of. I didn't see John the day he passed, he wouldn't have wanted me to see him like that and even though the last I saw him he was happy, alive and okay, my anxiety created this picture of him gone, floating in the pool. I couldn't get it out of my head and I never even saw it. But since the dream, seeing how good he looked, how perfect and peaceful, him smiling and knowing hes okay... Anytime that bad made up picture tries to pop up, the good one, from my dream, quickly squashes it. So I am very thankful for that.

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WaHaaf99, its hard for someone else to analyze your dream. Dreams mean different things to different people so only you can decipher the details to figure out its truly meaning to you.... or shall we say, it's message.

Your experience resembles a visitation dream.  Notice that you were a main character in both dreams.  You were participating as an active 1st party with your loved one, as oppose to sitting back and passively and watching things unfold as in a regular dream.   Also, you could feel him, and you genuinely felt his prescence in the dream.  You also described the encounter in good details.  It also took place in a realistic setting (as oppose to seeing flying ducks, or clowns in space).

It's interesting that he can not talk in both dreams.  I'm not sure if there's a correlation to a physical illness he had?

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