Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Sign in to follow this  
MAX2922

what do i say....advice wanted

Recommended Posts

MAX2922   

I JOINED THIS FORUM BECASUE I NEED HELP OR ADVICE .. I WON’T MAKE THIS A LONG POST BUT MY BEST FRIENDS MOTHER DIED. MY BF AND I HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER 20 PLUS YEARS AND OR FAMILES HAVE BEEN CLOSE AS WELL. MY BF ALWAYS LOVED MY FATHER AND LOOKED UP TP HIM ALOT. SHE HAD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR MY DAD AND WAS CLOSER TO HIM THEN MY MOTHER.

MY BF MOM WAS IN AND OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND DURING THIS TIME  MY FATHER AND MOTHER WENT TO THERE HOME A FEW TIMES TO SEE HER MOM AND  HAD A TON OF FOOD MADE FOR THE FAMILY DURING THIS TIME OF GRIEF

HER MOTHER DIED A FEW WEEKS LATER

 MY FATHER WAS NOT IN TOWN WHEN THE FUNERAL TOOK PLACE. SO, MY STEP MOTHER AND I WENT TO THE FUNERAL

I TOLD MY BF THAT HE COULNT NOT MAKE. BECAUSE I KNEW IT MEANT MORE TO HER THAT HE GO THEN MY STEPMOTHER.  SHE REALLY LOOKED UP TO MY FATHER

2 WEEKS GO BY AND MY BF TEXT ME THAT MY FATHER HAS NOT CALLED HER DAD TO GIVE SUPPORT OR SAY SORRY ..BASICALLY NOTHING HE HADNT CALLED.

 I DID NOT REPLY

BUT I RIGHT AWAY

I ASKED MY FATHER THE NEXT DAY WHY HE HADNT AND HE SAID HE WAS BUSY BUT WOULD CALL I TOLD HIM THAT IT WAS VERY INPORTANT TO ME AND AS MY BF THAT HE TAKE THE TIME TO CALL HER DAD AND JUST SAY SORRY FOR HIS LOSS.. AND THAT IT MEANT A LOT TO ME THAT HE CALL. AND WHAT WAS THE REASON HE HADNT CALLED .. IT WAS ODD TO BE HONEST I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT WAS EVEN AN ISSUE. I KNOW MY DAD HAS NEVER BEEN GOOD DEALING WITH STUFF LIKE THIS BUT COME ON !!! PLEASE CALL.

AND IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED I WOULD BE WONDERING WHY MY BF DAD HASNT REACHED OUT. MY FATHER SAID HE WOULD TAKE CARE OF IT AND CALL.

1 WEEK LATER I GET A TEXT FROM MY FRIEND I HAD SENT HER SEVERAL MESSAGES AND HAD NOT HEARD BACK.

THE TEXT SAID.

LEAVE ME ALONE

YOUR FATHER HAS STILL NOT CALLED MY DAD

LEAVE US ALONE

MY HEART STOPPED JUST SEEING THE TEXT MADE MY HEART STOP

RIGHT AWAY I CALLED MY DAD IN TEARS AND ASKED WHY HE HADNT CALLED... FIRST I ASKED IF HE CALLED AND HE SAID NO I CRIED AND TOLD HIM WHAT SHE HAD JUST TEXT ME AND ASKED WHY .

SO LONG STORY SHORT I HAVE NOT RESPONSED TO HER .. I FEEL IN MY HEART THAT SHE IS IN THE RIGHT AND HAS A RIGHT TO FEEL THAT WAY. I ALSO FEEL LIKE IT IS MY FAULY AND I DONT K NOW WHAT TO SAY BECASUE I THINK WHAT MY DAD DID WAS WRONG.
I NEED TO REACH OUT TO HER EVEN IF IT IS JUTS TELLING HER I LOVE HER AND AM SORRY

I DON’T KNW WHAT TO SAY

ANY ADVICE AND WORDS I CAN SAY TO HER.

HER BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEEEK AND I JUST WANT HER TO KNOW IM SORRY AND I, ASHAMED

 can anyone tell me what to write or what I should say I am going to send her a bday card but if anyone can tell me what to say ..and not make it a long letter id be gratful

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
reader   

Dear Max,

I know you care a lot and want to do the right thing. We cannot control our parents as much as we want to. During times of grief emotions are running very high. It is a sensitive time. Maybe try giving your friend a card or letter to express your thoughts and feelings. It might be best to step back a little and give your friend some time as well. Let her know you'll always be there if needed. And then try texting again a little later to follow up.

Take care of yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×