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My dog died today.


Kaz

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Today I made the heart wrenching decision to call the vet to come to my house to put my darling girl Dasha, a staffie border terrier cross, to sleep.  I rescued Dasha 6 years ago from a dog's home where she'd lived for over two years; the workers at the rescue centre couldn't believe she'd been over looked for such a long time. 

She has been such a wonderful dog, so loving, so sweet natured but also with a devilish streak which has got her into trouble countless times. Many a time on our walks the mist would descend and she'd be off, a dot on the horizon as I shouted and shouted for her to come back which I soon learned was a complete waste of time (and voice)... she would return, exhausted up to 3 hours later! I could never really tell her off though; a raise of the eyebrows would be about all I could manage as she crawled on her belly into the house.  She has had many 'adventures' over the years  acquiring the reputation of being a bit of a legend; I always felt she was making up for her 2 years in the dog's home. 

Four weeks ago, at the age of 13/14 she developed a grade 3 mast cell tumour on her leg. Surgery didn't remove all of it and it soon grew back.  I promised her after her surgery I wouldn't put her through any more pain and so decided against chemo which I was advised could potentially give her 6 months more. I was told without it she had just 6-8 weeks left.

Up until yesterday she was doing ok, but the pain relief I had been giving her over the last week wasn't working and she couldn't get comfortable. It was heartbreaking to see.  She was limping badly after her walk and so I carried her the last bit home . Then last night she cried for over an hour before finally falling asleep after I doubled the dose of her pain relief medicine.  I promised her she wouldn't have to go through another night like that again. And so the vet came to our house today.

I can't stop crying, to the point that I feel I'm on the end of having a panic attack. The shock of her not being here, at the end of my bed as I type this is almost physical. I am proud of myself for putting her first but I am really struggling tonight. My heart is broken.

 

 

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Dasha is beautiful and I can see by her happy nature why you love her so much.  This is the hardest thing in the world to go through, and no matter how many times I've been down this road in my life, it doesn't get any easier.  I just want to say, I am so sorry for your loss, yet I also am glad you were her parent, it's plain to see how much you love her.

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