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The day my world shattered


wteonka

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Hello all, 

my mother just passed away June 29,2017... that night my world shattered to pieces.. she was not only my mother, she was also my best friend... my better half.. I feel like I should have seen the signs.. she had copd and kept falling.. about ten times in two weeks.. the one day she woke up having a severely hard time breathing.. I called the ambulance and got us to the hospital.. she was in and out of consciousness.. about an hour later I had to put her on a ventilator.. her heart rate eventually spiked to 165bpm and her blood pressure dropped to 80/50... they decided to take her to icu.. unfortunately on the way her heart stopped and they gave cpr.. the nurse came out and told me that she had a pulmonary embolism.. within an hour she was brain dead and in a coma.. they were giving her every possible medicine they could to keep her alive.. as much as I wanted and needed her to stay here with me I had to remember the promise I made to her "that I would never let her suffer" and so I did the most selfless thing that I have ever done, I took her off life support.. she passed within twenty minutes.. since then I have done all that I could to stay strong.. but it's just not that easy for me.. today has been an especially hard day.. everything I see or/and hear is reminding me of her.. I hold so many regrets.. can anybody give me any advice or tips on how to get through this a little smoother

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Dear wteonka,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the loss of your cherished mom. I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know its an extremely difficult time. Please know you are not alone.

Everyone grieves so differently. For myself, I think having this forum and the support of good friends made things a little easier for me. I tried to stick with a routine. I still cried a lot and was angry but I tried to go through the motions of each day. If you want to, try counselling, grief support, reading different books and websites. I really like What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog.

Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

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