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why am I the only one still crying?

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This will probably come off as rambling because I just got finished sobbing my heart out, but honestly I'm fine with that.

A girl in my choir died last year, and we were all hit pretty hard. We were a tight knit group, only 25 or so people, and everyone cared deeply about one another. She passed away about a month after we'd returned from a trip to a festival in another state, and that was the last we saw of her. We attended the memorial service, enlisted the help of a grief counseling organization the first rehearsal after the incident, but after that it was never really mentioned again. We had more time dedicated to the aftermath of the election than to the fact that the sweetest girl we'll ever know just died.

But I digress. What I really want to know is how everyone got over it so quickly. How is it that I'm the only one who bursts into tears when we sing a song we learned in the last few days we knew her? How is it that no one else is bawling for 4 hours straight when they realize it's the anniversary of the last time we saw her smile? How can people think that telling me how many months it's been since the tragedy will make it any better? It's not like I want people to be feeling this excruciating pain every time they think about things related to her, I just don't want to feel alone in this. I don't want to be the only one feeling this.

I know that people go through grief differently, and most of them are probably feeling the exact same pain. I just wish I didn't feel like it was abnormal to still be crying over a death that happened only recently.

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You are not abnormal. It sounds as though you need to talk with people about her death and how it has affected you. Talking is the best way to heal from a loss. Don't focus on other peoples' reactions; focus on your own feelings and figuring out how to move forward. It is hard to say goodbye to those we cared about. An unexpected loss shocks our core and is very traumatic to some people. I'm certainly no expert, but it sounds as though your friend's death has traumatized you, and you haven't properly dealt with it. 

Is there a school counselor you can talk to? Your parents? Your friends? Talk to someone about all of this. 

We will be here with you,


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Good Evening - I am reading thru posts from teenagers on the loss of friends and I see that you posted something in July about the girl from your class . 

Im sorry that you were feeling so sad and that were affected by her passing so immensely . 

How are you doing by now ? 

I have some reading material that we leave at funeral homes on how to cope with the loss of a loved and another magazine on teen depression . Both are free . I can send the links if you are interested . Also, I have an Instagram page @hope_is_not_lost_ which has tips on how to deal with anxiety and depression . Please feel free to visit me there . 

With Deepest Condolences 


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