Members Grieving Sister Posted July 23, 2017 Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2017 I lost my younger brother, my only sibling, at 32 years old on July 18, 2017 due to health problems caused by alcoholism. It hurts like hell. The rest of my family, including my parents, have been able to get on with their daily lives, their regular routines, but I am struggling so bad that it sometimes feels like I can't breathe. Can anyone tell me if the pain ever goes away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted July 24, 2017 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2017 The pain does go away in time. I lost my older brother in an auto accident many years ago. At first, it was horrible, but in time, the pain dulled and receded. People handle grief in many different ways. Some people need to get back into their daily routines as fast as possible in order to feel better, while others need more time. Grieve in your own way, and don't try to stuff your feelings away. Just be you through this, and you will be okay. When the anxiety hits, try deep breathing, counting slowly to 4 and then slowly exhaling several times or finding an object to focus on and continue to breathe while you only think about that object.Sometimes that will help with the anxiety and the feeling of not being able to breathe. (I'm not an expert, but I have seen this work many, many times for lots of people). We will be here with you, ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Little-Sis Posted July 9, 2018 Members Report Share Posted July 9, 2018 Hi, I know that your post is a year old. I was just wondering if possibly you might still be around and want to talk? I just discovered this forum. I don’t have the nerve at this point to dive right in and share my story publicly. From what you’ve shared though, I think that it’s likely that our stories may be similar. I’m just hoping to find someone to talk to who understands, but more on a one on one basis. Just feeling really shy about blurting details out publicly. I hope you are well, and I hope to hear from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silverwolf86 Posted July 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2018 Dear Sister, I am so sorry about your dear Brother, My brother Tommy died on August 9th, 2017. And to say it’s been almost a year feels so wrong. I understand completely what you say when it’s looks as if family are just moving onwards, and we stay in our grief. I’ve found that others grief, even in my family just aren’t going to be the same as mine. And I’ve come to be ok with that. Because it’s ours...your grief is your own, and it has its own mold and makeup. When I’ve tried to compare my grief to my other sibling, or other family, I become bitter with them, angry that they are not experiencing the same loss as me(outwardly at least). But my only advice to you is to embrace it as your own, and something that is especially yours, and not a grief that you share with everyone else. People say it gets better...:(. It this point, I can’t even comprehend that feeling. My brother was killed at work, in an industrial accident, and like everyone here, he died too young, too soon, and the unfairness of it all is suffocating. But in all this(with the help of a counselor), I’ve built a mental mantra for myself. Be true to YOUR feelings. Do NOT feel pressured to pretend to be OK or better. Let grief just wash over you...it is because of deep love that we grieve so deeply. Honor his memory by allowing that loss to be experienced. Much love to you Sister....from a fellow broken heart... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members megan.brianne Posted July 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2018 I lost my brother due to similar circumstances. For me, it's not that things are better with time, they are just different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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