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Hi everyone,

I lost my boyfriend, Jake to a heroin overdose (was later found out it was 100% pure Fenanyl he was sold) May 9th, 2017. I truly feel that Jake was my soulmate and I still find it extremely difficult to believe/accept that he is no longer here on Earth. Some days are better than others. I have been having a rough couple of days and have felt very alone, so I figured I would sign up on here to talk to people who are similarly struggling.  
I have a difficult time wrapping my head around the reality that he's gone. When I think of him, sometimes it still doesn't feel real. I don't know when it will begin to feel truly real. I have a difficult time sleeping, and have only noticed this recently. I hate sleeping. I don't know what to do. I feel most alone at night time, when he and I would stay up all night talking, and when the rest of the world is fast asleep and I am alone with my thoughts. 
I found Jake dead in his apartment, and this is something that has been extremely difficult for me to deal with. My anxiety is at an all time high. I have worked so hard to get off of psychiatric medication prior to his death, and I do not want to revert back to it...but some days I just feel so physically sick and hopeless...what can I do? I have tried guided meditations and they only work sometimes. I see a grief counselor weekly which helps, but I just feel so stuck in this pain. I hate it. I guess I just want to feel support. I'm 22 years old and I have experienced something not many people my age ever have to experience, so it's isolating. 
I have recently put together a blog(here) of my journal entries to him, in order to not only help myself, but to also help others. As soon as Jake died, I was googling things like "my boyfriend died, what do I do?" and I didn't find much of anything and felt completely hopeless and lost. I knew I wanted to share my journal entries in hopes of helping people and connecting with people who are coping with the same thing as me.
I'm at a loss for words. I guess I just wanted to put my first post out there and begin to integrate into the community. 

xx
 

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Ka9219   

Nicoleashley94 I am so sorry about your loss, you came to the right place, all of us are struggling with the lost of a love one, I lost my boyfriend so soon -he was only 26 years old and I am 25- so I might understand what you said about not many people of our age haven't go through this.

Yes, most of the time we feel helpless and hopeless, is "normal" grieving is a painful process so we will be into the saddest feelings ever, what helps? Not much, for me taking one day at a time is what I am doing and I have survive so far. Cry as much as you need, do what feels good your, maybe taking a walk or going out with some friend to clear up your mind, try not to overthink, it is ok to think about it but don't rush over what happens.

Loneliness is part of this journey, we can avoid it, if you need stay close with his family and yours. But in my case I like to be alone... Regular routine now looks like a complete challenge, waking up, getting up, taking a shower, eat, sleep, all of this things become a daily struggle, take baby steps, go easy on yourself. Time is our only ally, go easy and time will teach how to handle the pain, because we don't "move on" pain will be always whit us since we lose our soulmate, so eventually we just get used to the pain and learn how lo live with this.

It will never be easy, dates, memories, and places will bring up tears, the greater the love the harder the grieve. We are here for you

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Ka9219, Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss as well. Although it is terrible to be in this position to even say this, but I'm glad we can at least be in the same boat together of losing our partners at such a young age. 
I definitely agree with you.. I have preferred being alone. I have cut myself off from many people, and I really only find myself comfortable around one friend. I just feel like an alien almost anymore. And I feel no one can say anything that can help much...the only person who would be able to help is Jake :(
 

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Francine   

I am so sorry for your loss and feel your pain.  I'm into the eight month of losing my husband, Charles, and it still feels unreal;  I want to wake up from this nightmare and tell my Charles about it.    Right now, you are experiencing the *emotional roller coaster* phase; when one day you're coping with this loss OK, and the next day, you're falling apart a;t the seems; unfortunately, that's normal.  Do what you need to do to get through this; cry whenever you need to; scream, shout, lay on the floor, sob in the shower, be still, run, walk, create, share your fears, listen, release the pain, breathe, seek others to help you through this; forgive, love yourself. 

For me, it will never feel real again; not the *real* I know.  Nights are the worst for me as well; its the time when the world closes up for the night; it was the time when my Charles and I would discuss the going ons of the day.  Now I realize that when things happen - good or bad - and the only person I used to discuss it to is no longer here - and that is pure hell.  And then I drift off to sleep; now a days, I think I'd rather sleep; when I'm sleep, Charles and are together, happy, in our own world of love and peace; but then I wake up to hell, my new reality, that I have to endure everyday, a hell where the burn and pain is unbearable.

There will come a day when you will be OK again and enjoy your life.  It will happen.  And, just as with any loss, you won't ever forget Jake or the road you traveled to heal.   Just give yourself the time and space you need in this journey to grieve, feel and heal.  If you had all the answers, the journey would have no purpose.   You deserve it; your loss matters and so do you.

Continue to post; It is not a coincidence, fluke or accident that you are here at this date and time. You were meant to be here and we were meant to cross paths for a reason.  It's happening the way God will it to be.

 

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Ka9219   
5 hours ago, nicoleashley94 said:

Ka9219, Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss as well. Although it is terrible to be in this position to even say this, but I'm glad we can at least be in the same boat together of losing our partners at such a young age. 
I definitely agree with you.. I have preferred being alone. I have cut myself off from many people, and I really only find myself comfortable around one friend. I just feel like an alien almost anymore. And I feel no one can say anything that can help much...the only person who would be able to help is Jake :(
 

Yes I feel the same, the only one I want close is Mario, but he is gone =( be patient some people might get close to you and will try to say something to make you feel better, but half wont help at all and the other half will say just stupid things, more than once people came closer to say me: "don't worry he is just your boyfriend, you will move on and find another man", I just agreed and walked away, do not give them any importance.

If you need to stay alone and you feel good, that's ok, but always keep your family close, they help a lot, because even if they don't understand your pain they are suffering for seeing you in pain. I wish I could tell you that it is going to be easy, but it is not, every day is a challenge because you feel and remember different things every day, will be good days, I haven't had one in a while so it might come soon, but mostly there are bad days, and then the worst ones.

You're so song, don't overthink about future, that might be overwhelming, keep your mind on today and only today, tomorrow, next week, next month, it is unknown places, don't think about it, just focus on going through "today". 

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6 hours ago, Francine said:

I am so sorry for your loss and feel your pain.  I'm into the eight month of losing my husband, Charles, and it still feels unreal;  I want to wake up from this nightmare and tell my Charles about it.    Right now, you are experiencing the *emotional roller coaster* phase; when one day you're coping with this loss OK, and the next day, you're falling apart a;t the seems; unfortunately, that's normal.  Do what you need to do to get through this; cry whenever you need to; scream, shout, lay on the floor, sob in the shower, be still, run, walk, create, share your fears, listen, release the pain, breathe, seek others to help you through this; forgive, love yourself. 

For me, it will never feel real again; not the *real* I know.  Nights are the worst for me as well; its the time when the world closes up for the night; it was the time when my Charles and I would discuss the going ons of the day.  Now I realize that when things happen - good or bad - and the only person I used to discuss it to is no longer here - and that is pure hell.  And then I drift off to sleep; now a days, I think I'd rather sleep; when I'm sleep, Charles and are together, happy, in our own world of love and peace; but then I wake up to hell, my new reality, that I have to endure everyday, a hell where the burn and pain is unbearable.

There will come a day when you will be OK again and enjoy your life.  It will happen.  And, just as with any loss, you won't ever forget Jake or the road you traveled to heal.   Just give yourself the time and space you need in this journey to grieve, feel and heal.  If you had all the answers, the journey would have no purpose.   You deserve it; your loss matters and so do you.

Continue to post; It is not a coincidence, fluke or accident that you are here at this date and time. You were meant to be here and we were meant to cross paths for a reason.  It's happening the way God will it to be.

 

Francine, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Charles. I am definitely in the roller coaster stage, and on the good days, I find myself feeling guilt/sadness for feeling good! It's like I can't win no matter if I have a good day or bad day.
It is reassuring to me that it still does not feel "real" to you because its not the "real" you are used to...that makes so much sense to me, and although I wish this weren't true for any of us, I am glad we are not alone in feeling this way. I agree it is pure hell not having the one and only person here to discuss things with. Night time Jake and I had a routine and we would stay up until 1,2,3 in the morning despite both of us having to wake up extremely early...and now, my body naturally wants to stay up and craves the feeling of gratification I used to receive after having a loving conversation every night before bed. I just hate sleeping. I also hate it for the fact that I don't want the days to keep passing, though I know that is not rational because regardless if I sleep or not, the days will still pass. I had a dream recently Jake told me he loved me and it felt like the most real thing and I am grateful he came to me in my dream. 
I agree with you that I am meant to be here at this very moment, and things happen for various reasons, and I think this a beautiful viewpoint. 
Your post brought tears to my eyes xx 

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56 minutes ago, Ka9219 said:

Yes I feel the same, the only one I want close is Mario, but he is gone =( be patient some people might get close to you and will try to say something to make you feel better, but half wont help at all and the other half will say just stupid things, more than once people came closer to say me: "don't worry he is just your boyfriend, you will move on and find another man", I just agreed and walked away, do not give them any importance.

If you need to stay alone and you feel good, that's ok, but always keep your family close, they help a lot, because even if they don't understand your pain they are suffering for seeing you in pain. I wish I could tell you that it is going to be easy, but it is not, every day is a challenge because you feel and remember different things every day, will be good days, I haven't had one in a while so it might come soon, but mostly there are bad days, and then the worst ones.

You're so song, don't overthink about future, that might be overwhelming, keep your mind on today and only today, tomorrow, next week, next month, it is unknown places, don't think about it, just focus on going through "today". 

I'm sorry you have not had a good day in a while, I am hoping it comes soon for you. You deserve it. 
I agree, 9 out of 10 people do not understand our pain and do not understand what is and is not appropriate to say..therefore, I try to save myself the annoyance and avoid most people like the plague. I am definitely avoiding my family, because I do not have a very large or close family, and I feel they do not understand either...so I feel best keeping to myself and keeping my one friend close. I also have Jake's mother and brother for support...but even that is limited because they do not live close and they are grieving in their own unique ways. It is very lonely, but I'm learning to deal with it. Jake and I's relationship was very private and personal and so I am dealing with it in a very private and personal way too, I suppose.
I definitely try to focus moment by moment, otherwise I would feel too overwhelmed and I would have given up.

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Ka9219   
3 hours ago, nicoleashley94 said:

I'm sorry you have not had a good day in a while, I am hoping it comes soon for you. You deserve it. 
I agree, 9 out of 10 people do not understand our pain and do not understand what is and is not appropriate to say..therefore, I try to save myself the annoyance and avoid most people like the plague. I am definitely avoiding my family, because I do not have a very large or close family, and I feel they do not understand either...so I feel best keeping to myself and keeping my one friend close. I also have Jake's mother and brother for support...but even that is limited because they do not live close and they are grieving in their own unique ways. It is very lonely, but I'm learning to deal with it. Jake and I's relationship was very private and personal and so I am dealing with it in a very private and personal way too, I suppose.
I definitely try to focus moment by moment, otherwise I would feel too overwhelmed and I would have given up.

It seems that we share some things: Mario and I took our relationship privately as well, no because there was something bad about it, but we were so busy having fun, creating new and beautiful moments together that we didn't have time to make it "public", I didn't met two of his aunts who worked with him because they weren't important for him -actually most of the time both of them were pissed him off- so I knew about them because they caused a lot of troubles in Mario's life, in the funeral they came close and told me that they have had finally meet me, but I wasn't happy knowing how mean they were with Mario. So most of the time Mario and I were together loving each other and trying to make our own perfect world forgetting about everything and everyone else.

I have Mario's family as a support as well but they are taking this "privately" I guess, since everyone take grieve differently, they are just trying not to think about it or speak about it because it hurts so much, and if that works for them its ok. For me, I need to speak about Mario constantly, say what happened over and over again has been like a "therapy" to accept it. It is good to know your friend is there with you.

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Eagle-96   
8 hours ago, nicoleashley94 said:

I'm sorry you have not had a good day in a while, I am hoping it comes soon for you. You deserve it. 
I agree, 9 out of 10 people do not understand our pain and do not understand what is and is not appropriate to say..therefore, I try to save myself the annoyance and avoid most people like the plague. I am definitely avoiding my family, because I do not have a very large or close family, and I feel they do not understand either...so I feel best keeping to myself and keeping my one friend close. I also have Jake's mother and brother for support...but even that is limited because they do not live close and they are grieving in their own unique ways. It is very lonely, but I'm learning to deal with it. Jake and I's relationship was very private and personal and so I am dealing with it in a very private and personal way too, I suppose.
I definitely try to focus moment by moment, otherwise I would feel too overwhelmed and I would have given up.

That is very important to understand. You have lost your soulmate and only those that have lost theirs will understand that pain. But you also understand that his mom and brother have a very different grief than yours. It's something I have to remind myself of from time to time. I can't full understand mine and Lori's friends pain at the loss of my wife because I have never lost a close friend. I also have to remind myself that my family and friends are grieving also. It's not just me that lost Lori. We're here for you anytime.

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KayC   

nicoleashley94,

I am so sorry for your loss, that anyone else has to go through this grieves us because we understand what that means.  You are right, other people have relationships with him but they are different from yours, each of our grief is unique.  We also handle our grief uniquely.

You have found a good place to come to, a place where others "get it" and understand and care.  It helps to express yourself, as you have in your blog and here.  When my George died, I felt my power stripped from me, after all, no one had asked ME if I wanted this!  The most important event to affect my life and I wasn't even consulted!  I have found that expressing myself restores some of that power that was taken from me, it gives me a voice even if it doesn't change the ultimate outcome of his death.

 

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9 hours ago, Ka9219 said:

It seems that we share some things: Mario and I took our relationship privately as well, no because there was something bad about it, but we were so busy having fun, creating new and beautiful moments together that we didn't have time to make it "public", I didn't met two of his aunts who worked with him because they weren't important for him -actually most of the time both of them were pissed him off- so I knew about them because they caused a lot of troubles in Mario's life, in the funeral they came close and told me that they have had finally meet me, but I wasn't happy knowing how mean they were with Mario. So most of the time Mario and I were together loving each other and trying to make our own perfect world forgetting about everything and everyone else.

I have Mario's family as a support as well but they are taking this "privately" I guess, since everyone take grieve differently, they are just trying not to think about it or speak about it because it hurts so much, and if that works for them its ok. For me, I need to speak about Mario constantly, say what happened over and over again has been like a "therapy" to accept it. It is good to know your friend is there with you.

I completely feel the same as you about constantly wanting to speak about Jake. I find it very healing. <3

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4 hours ago, Eagle-96 said:

That is very important to understand. You have lost your soulmate and only those that have lost theirs will understand that pain. But you also understand that his mom and brother have a very different grief than yours. It's something I have to remind myself of from time to time. I can't full understand mine and Lori's friends pain at the loss of my wife because I have never lost a close friend. I also have to remind myself that my family and friends are grieving also. It's not just me that lost Lori. We're here for you anytime.

I am sorry for your loss.
Yes, I try to always think of how other people are feeling/handling this. Everyone's relationship and viewpoints and experiences are unique, and so their grief will be unique as well. Thank you<3 

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3 hours ago, KayC said:

nicoleashley94,

I am so sorry for your loss, that anyone else has to go through this grieves us because we understand what that means.  You are right, other people have relationships with him but they are different from yours, each of our grief is unique.  We also handle our grief uniquely.

You have found a good place to come to, a place where others "get it" and understand and care.  It helps to express yourself, as you have in your blog and here.  When my George died, I felt my power stripped from me, after all, no one had asked ME if I wanted this!  The most important event to affect my life and I wasn't even consulted!  I have found that expressing myself restores some of that power that was taken from me, it gives me a voice even if it doesn't change the ultimate outcome of his death.

 

I am sorry for your loss, KayC. 
This power being stripped from you piece hit me very hard. I feel very out of control, and I agree being able to use our voice is the only thing we can control. 
I feel so much heartache and pain. It makes me very afraid to ever enter into another relationship ever again, for fear of "replacing" Jake and also for fear that will always be in the back of my mind of possibly losing anyone new who comes into my life. 

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I'm sorry for your loss Nicoleashley94.

I too sought out answers last week when my boyfriend, Alfred died. I couldn't wrap my head around anything or function. I had bills that needed to be posted. I got phone calls for his appointments on his phone, and the cable company tried to get us to buy an upgrade package. I couldn't understand how the world went forward and I was still pushed back ten hours ago, when he was still alive and breathing.

I couldn't take people telling me they were sorry for my loss when my mind didn't process the fact he was gone. I still wake up thinking he's at the store or visiting his family. I put my laptop and some pillows on his side of the bed and woke up thinking I have to clear his side of the bed, just in case he's tired and wants to sleep. My brain hasn't connected the reality that he's truly gone.

Alfred was my rock who helped me through my drinking problem and made me see the light. I have taken walks to keep myself busy and away from drinking, or face becoming the person I was before Alfred came into my life.

Nicoleashley94, please take your daily medications to stay healthy. I have to relearn staying on top of my prescriptions, because Alfred reminded me when to take mine. You came to a good place with good people. It's a club I never want someone to join in losing a loved one. Take care of yourself

 

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KayC   

Marsha,

It does take a while for it to sink in.  These rude awakenings when it hits all over again are very rough...there will come a day when it will be in your subconscious and it will no longer hit you afresh.

Nicole,

You will never replace him, so l hope you can put that thought aside.  I carry my George inside of me, grief becomes a part of us, a part that we learn to coexist with.  I have a friend whose husband died, and she eventually remarried to someone else who had lost their wife.  They both embrace both the old and the new, don't compare, don't expect the other person to be like the one they lost, but have learned to live in today and enjoy their time together.  Worrying about losing him almost kept her from remarrying, she didn't feel she could go through that again, but she finally decided she didn't want that to stop her from living her life to the fullest and if she does have to go through it again (one of them will), that is the price for loving.  I'm glad she made that choice, she almost didn't, but they are very happy together and both of them being widowed before helps them understand each other.

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18 hours ago, Marshacompton said:

I'm sorry for your loss Nicoleashley94.

I too sought out answers last week when my boyfriend, Alfred died. I couldn't wrap my head around anything or function. I had bills that needed to be posted. I got phone calls for his appointments on his phone, and the cable company tried to get us to buy an upgrade package. I couldn't understand how the world went forward and I was still pushed back ten hours ago, when he was still alive and breathing.

I couldn't take people telling me they were sorry for my loss when my mind didn't process the fact he was gone. I still wake up thinking he's at the store or visiting his family. I put my laptop and some pillows on his side of the bed and woke up thinking I have to clear his side of the bed, just in case he's tired and wants to sleep. My brain hasn't connected the reality that he's truly gone.

Alfred was my rock who helped me through my drinking problem and made me see the light. I have taken walks to keep myself busy and away from drinking, or face becoming the person I was before Alfred came into my life.

Nicoleashley94, please take your daily medications to stay healthy. I have to relearn staying on top of my prescriptions, because Alfred reminded me when to take mine. You came to a good place with good people. It's a club I never want someone to join in losing a loved one. Take care of yourself

 

Marsha, I am so sorry for the loss of your boyfriend Alfred. It sucks when the world keeps going on and we are left to suffer through daily tasks that seem near impossible. 
I hope that you can continue to take care of yourself and refrain from drinking and know that Alfred is there encouraging you still, though he may not physically be there. 
<3

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

Marsha,

It does take a while for it to sink in.  These rude awakenings when it hits all over again are very rough...there will come a day when it will be in your subconscious and it will no longer hit you afresh.

Nicole,

You will never replace him, so l hope you can put that thought aside.  I carry my George inside of me, grief becomes a part of us, a part that we learn to coexist with.  I have a friend whose husband died, and she eventually remarried to someone else who had lost their wife.  They both embrace both the old and the new, don't compare, don't expect the other person to be like the one they lost, but have learned to live in today and enjoy their time together.  Worrying about losing him almost kept her from remarrying, she didn't feel she could go through that again, but she finally decided she didn't want that to stop her from living her life to the fullest and if she does have to go through it again (one of them will), that is the price for loving.  I'm glad she made that choice, she almost didn't, but they are very happy together and both of them being widowed before helps them understand each other.

I know I will never replace Jake, I just also know I won't be alone for the rest of my life... and I just don't know if I will ever find anyone who understands that Jake will always be a part of my life and can accept this and know how to handle me and my emotions. I think that is great your friend was able to find someone who also lost their partner and they share that commonality.
It's just very hard. Tears are running down my face over the thought of being with anyone who isn't Jake. 

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KayC   

You don't need to think about that right now, you will go there when you are ready, right now you are not.  One day at a time, that's the way through this.  Try not to think about the future right now, today has enough to deal with.  (((hugs)))

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Sb123   
On 7/18/2017 at 5:28 PM, nicoleashley94 said:

Hi everyone,

I lost my boyfriend, Jake to a heroin overdose (was later found out it was 100% pure Fenanyl he was sold) May 9th, 2017. I truly feel that Jake was my soulmate and I still find it extremely difficult to believe/accept that he is no longer here on Earth. Some days are better than others. I have been having a rough couple of days and have felt very alone, so I figured I would sign up on here to talk to people who are similarly struggling.  
I have a difficult time wrapping my head around the reality that he's gone. When I think of him, sometimes it still doesn't feel real. I don't know when it will begin to feel truly real. I have a difficult time sleeping, and have only noticed this recently. I hate sleeping. I don't know what to do. I feel most alone at night time, when he and I would stay up all night talking, and when the rest of the world is fast asleep and I am alone with my thoughts. 
I found Jake dead in his apartment, and this is something that has been extremely difficult for me to deal with. My anxiety is at an all time high. I have worked so hard to get off of psychiatric medication prior to his death, and I do not want to revert back to it...but some days I just feel so physically sick and hopeless...what can I do? I have tried guided meditations and they only work sometimes. I see a grief counselor weekly which helps, but I just feel so stuck in this pain. I hate it. I guess I just want to feel support. I'm 22 years old and I have experienced something not many people my age ever have to experience, so it's isolating. 
I have recently put together a blog(here) of my journal entries to him, in order to not only help myself, but to also help others. As soon as Jake died, I was googling things like "my boyfriend died, what do I do?" and I didn't find much of anything and felt completely hopeless and lost. I knew I wanted to share my journal entries in hopes of helping people and connecting with people who are coping with the same thing as me.
I'm at a loss for words. I guess I just wanted to put my first post out there and begin to integrate into the community. 

xx
 

Iam so sorry for your loss and i can definitely feel you because i also recently lost my bf of age 24 to brain death and Iam 23. So i know exactly how it feels to be depressed and so lost in life after experiencing such traumatic incidents at this very young age. I too have lost all meaning of life.

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NatKiki   
On 7/18/2017 at 5:28 PM, nicoleashley94 said:

Hi everyone,

I lost my boyfriend, Jake to a heroin overdose (was later found out it was 100% pure Fenanyl he was sold) May 9th, 2017. I truly feel that Jake was my soulmate and I still find it extremely difficult to believe/accept that he is no longer here on Earth. Some days are better than others. I have been having a rough couple of days and have felt very alone, so I figured I would sign up on here to talk to people who are similarly struggling.  
I have a difficult time wrapping my head around the reality that he's gone. When I think of him, sometimes it still doesn't feel real. I don't know when it will begin to feel truly real. I have a difficult time sleeping, and have only noticed this recently. I hate sleeping. I don't know what to do. I feel most alone at night time, when he and I would stay up all night talking, and when the rest of the world is fast asleep and I am alone with my thoughts. 
I found Jake dead in his apartment, and this is something that has been extremely difficult for me to deal with. My anxiety is at an all time high. I have worked so hard to get off of psychiatric medication prior to his death, and I do not want to revert back to it...but some days I just feel so physically sick and hopeless...what can I do? I have tried guided meditations and they only work sometimes. I see a grief counselor weekly which helps, but I just feel so stuck in this pain. I hate it. I guess I just want to feel support. I'm 22 years old and I have experienced something not many people my age ever have to experience, so it's isolating. 
I have recently put together a blog(here) of my journal entries to him, in order to not only help myself, but to also help others. As soon as Jake died, I was googling things like "my boyfriend died, what do I do?" and I didn't find much of anything and felt completely hopeless and lost. I knew I wanted to share my journal entries in hopes of helping people and connecting with people who are coping with the same thing as me.
I'm at a loss for words. I guess I just wanted to put my first post out there and begin to integrate into the community. 

xx
 

Hi Nicole , 

 

First I just want to say I'm very sorry for your lose I know exactly what you are going through. My boyfriend died May 10th 2017 of an overdose and I'm still trying to deal with it, I'm also 22 years old and trying to find people with the same experience is hard . It's like evertime you think you're okay you hear something that brings all the memories back . I will tell you it does and will get better , I know you have heard that from your family and friends but it's true . I'm here for you if you ever need to talk 

 

Lots of love Nat

 

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On 9/2/2017 at 10:06 AM, NatKiki said:

Hi Nicole , 

 

First I just want to say I'm very sorry for your lose I know exactly what you are going through. My boyfriend died May 10th 2017 of an overdose and I'm still trying to deal with it, I'm also 22 years old and trying to find people with the same experience is hard . It's like evertime you think you're okay you hear something that brings all the memories back . I will tell you it does and will get better , I know you have heard that from your family and friends but it's true . I'm here for you if you ever need to talk 

 

Lots of love Nat

 

Thank you Nat. I am sorry for your loss as well. I can't believe we are so close in age and the date we lost our partners is so close as well. Days have been getting much easier but still have horrible days as to be expected. If you'd like to keep in touch feel free to email me. It'd be nice to have a friend. I don't come on here too much anymore. It's painful at the moment. 

My email is - nicoledubiac@kings.edu

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