Members csjb79 Posted July 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 My mom died last December. It was sudden and totally unexpected. As she was diagnosed with lung cancer and passed within 3 weeks. She lived in another state and she and our family kept her illness from me to "spare me the grief and pain". I think theyr'e jerks. To understand this you'd have to know my mom and our families past. Honestly I don't understand it. Around the time she was diagnosed she left me a 2 and a half minute voicemail basically telling me to get lost and "f" off. It hurt. From out of nowhere. I didn't call back because I was hurt and angry. I figured I give it time as she had also battled mental illness during her life and she has behaved this way my entire life. I never thought that we be the last time I heard her voice. No closure, just anger and pain. I am very very very angry. I lash out often.. As soon as I open my eyes I'm pissed off. Anxiety, anger, sadness never ends. I left my job in May. Sounds dumb but I don't regret that decision it was self preservation. My wife really doesn't care anymore, in a way I don't blame her.. I go into angry rants and who wants to be around that. I black out and feel like the floor has been pulled out from under me. The both of us are seriously talking about divorce. We were so in Love. I have not seen her smile in months. We do nothing together. etc. this is so difficult for my wife. I really wouldn't blame her if she left me. I go to therapy weekly and vent and try to process it to work through it. I've been in therapy before this happened. Too many issues in my life. I have good days and bad. Really bad. I'm not sure what this post will bring me. I know its good to get it out. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted July 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 I'm very sorry for your loss and all your pain and sorrow. I know its an extremely difficult time. Families are tough. Its been 9 months and I am still struggling. Please know you are not alone. Anger is a normal part of grief. Glad you have your therapist to talk to. But also know there are other resources in the community and through church. Maybe a support group would also help. I also find these websites helpful: What's Your Grief The Grief Healing Blog The Grief Recovery Method Griefshare.Org. Take care and please know we are all here to listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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