Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Struggling Hard


sri123

Recommended Posts

  • Members

This is my first post in any type of forum about my loss, so please bear with me. Additionally, this post involves an LGBTQ relationship. If you are going to be negative about that, please take it elsewhere. There will also be mention of sexual relationships.

 

So, on Father's Day weekend, my dad's dad died. He passed away on Saturday after a battle with stomach cancer. I was never close with him but it did still hit very close to home, of course. Just as I thought Father's Day weekend couldn't get any worse, my mom's dad passed on the holiday itself. My Pop Pop raised me when my mom was not able to and even when she was able to. We were so close and when she told me the news, I went into absolute hysterics. I saw him every single weekend. We talked on the phone every day. He was my best friend--the person closest to me in this world. And I am spiraling. 

Due to how immensely I am struggling, every aspect of my life is suffering. I can't concentrate at work, I have a vacation coming up that I am in no way excited for, I don't want to go out after work, I've stopped going to the gym and I've been gaining weight from not wanting to eat right, and my relationship with my partner is becoming rocky.

I know that my partner loves me. Having anxiety and depression issues of their own, watching me cry and breakdown every single day for a month can't be easy. Last night, my partner told me that they feel as though I am withholding all affection from them. This confused me, as I felt I was being extremely intimate and close. The only thing going on is that we have not had sex in a while. Prior to the passing of my Pop Pop and grandfather, I was having some medical issues. I got those cleared up and then the deaths happened pretty much immediately. 

I don't want to think that my partner is just feeling negative feelings towards me because I don't feel comfortable having sex. I want to have sex, but every time we're about to, I think of my grandfathers dying and it is extremely graphic and depressing. I then feel guilty because my brain tells me that I should be grieving, not having sex, and then my body responds to that guilt and everything has to stop.

What do I do? How can I get myself back to normal? It has been a month and I know it's going to be hard for the rest of my life, but I need to get myself back on track before I lose everything. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am very sorry about the loss of your grandfathers. I am no expert, but I've seem many people have this same sexual intimacy issue when their loved ones have died. Low libido is one effect of grief. It will get better.  You probably should try to relax and just take some time to grieve. I'm sure your system has undergone a shock, and it's going to take a little while to recoup.

One month is certainly not any time at all to grieve. Perhaps you should do some research (I just love google), and find how others deal with this. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.