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Terboo

Terboo

4 posts in this topic

Not sure what to do, don't knw what way to go..I'm porlonging thing to hold on longer to My Husband who passed suddenly on June 14 2017.

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Terboo, I am deeply for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly too, last August, of cardiac arrest. No chance for last words, kisses or hugs. I know the crippling pain, the devastation you are feeling. The not knowing what to do, where to go--- those things you do not need to worry about. Just take care of you, the best that you are able to. Your husband, the love between the two of you and the memories will always be in your heart and mind. The rest of your life will work out the way it is meant to, naturally. This new journey you find yourself unwillingly on is going to be an uphill battle, and you will survive. Life doesn't give us any choice in that matter. Self care and much patience is what you need now. Grief is a complex shadow of a monster and you will feel it attacking you whenever it feels like it. Just go with the flow of your emotions, do not fight or hold it inside. The best advice is to take it day by day. Minute by minute and hour by hour, what ever you need to do for yourself. Every feeling, every thought, is a normal part of grieving. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, no rules or time table. Just your way.

You found this forum and it is a safe place for expressing yourself. Everyone here is compassionate and knows and understands your pain. It is only those of us going through the same loss who truly *get It*. Sending prayers of comfort to you.   (HUGS)

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2 hours ago, Terboo said:

Not sure what to do, don't knw what way to go..I'm porlonging thing to hold on longer to My Husband who passed suddenly on June 14 2017.

I am truly sorry for your loss and truly know your pain.  You're still in shock, disbelief, numb; blank, unable to think clearly, frozen in time, moving in slow motion; living within a fog.  All that's normal and after the numbing phase, when you eventually thaw out, the pain settles on your heart and the raw fear of not having him around takes over your mind and controls it for a very, very long time. And the weird thing is while your world is frozen and you have no idea how you can live through it, the real world keeps turning, the seconds keeps ticking.  If you haven't done so, find a support group in your area that you might want to attend.  It helps in learning from others who have experienced the death of a spouse - I have and it's one of the best self-action remedies that provided the understanding I so desperately needed.  If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that are appropriate to you with people who are understanding and support your religious beliefs.  What comforts me is my faith in God and prayer and knowing that my Charles is free from all illness and suffering.  He is at peace and that's all I can ever wish for.

Grieve your husband; you need to in order to heal but know we all have our individual grief.  Your grief is your own walk alone.  Others may be there with encouraging words of comfort and listen to your stories of pain and sorrow,  but you will have to walk it alone, down your own path, at your own pace with your pain, your raw wounds, your denial, anger and bitter loss. You'll come to your own peace, hopefully, but it will be on your own terms and in your own time.

So if you need to breakdown and cry then do it; you're walking through hell; just don't stay there  You've just lost a part of yourself and your heart is badly broken and the bad news is you will never completely get over it, but the good news is that as long as you live, your husband will live; as long as you live, he will be remembered; and as long as you live,  he will always be loved.  As long as you live, you will never be without him because you will carry him where ever you go. 

Continue to post; I believe we are here for a reason; to uplift one another, definitely; but more than that, to learn and help one another along with horrific journey.  I pray God gives you hope and strength; Hope that it will get better and strength to hold on until it does.

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Terboo,

One month today...I am so sorry.  We all remember that fresh grief, it's become a part of us. The best advice anyone gave me was to take one day at a time...it might need broken down into an hour or only a minute if that's all you can handle.  Try not to think about the rest of your life, it's too much to contemplate.

I hope you'll keep coming here, reading and posting.  This is the one place where we know people get it.

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