Coping with my dad's death a year later

[Christine89]

My Dad died a year ago on my birthday. It was very hard on me, because we were very close and like minded, and I had to take him off of life support. It took 6 months for me to stop spontaneously crying. Yesterday was the one year mark. I feel like my heart has shattered all over again. I'm angry, broken, and lost.

 

I tried to rely on my fiancee, but he has proven to be...unreliable.

 

My mom relies on me for everything now, and I have to be her rock.

 

It feels like the world is caving in around me, and I don't know what to do.

[sadandlost]

Dear Christine89,  

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand that feeling when you feel no one is there just for you.  I feel that too.  Its very hard.  I think a year is nothing compared to the fact you had him there all your life up to a year ago.  I am beginning to realise that grief goes on and on and changes as we process it.  You can process it all in weeks or months or a year.  I think it takes years.  I'm only at 6 months.  Its my mom's birthday today.  What would have been her birthday today.  Last year I was with her on her birthday.  This year she is gone.  Nothing prepares you for this depth of loss in life.  We just have to keep getting up every day, bathing, getting dressed, eating and putting one foot in front of the other until its slightly easier.  I hope you have a friend maybe you can reach out to Christine.  Hoping tomorrow is a better day for you.