Marshacompton

I lost my soulmate today: I don't know what to do with my life

33 posts in this topic

6 hours ago, Kjayne said:

Hi my name's Karin. I also lost my soulmate 10 days ago. I don't know how to go on. Don't want to get up or get dressed or go out. I am feeling so much pain. Just want to let you know I understand your pain. Just so much pain. Strength. Hugs. Karin 

I am sorry for your loss and everything you are going through. As you likely have read here before, this is probably the hardest thing you will ever go through. But we are here for you and I hope that we can provide some guidance and hopefully some comfort.

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22 hours ago, Marshacompton said:

I could not take another person telling me they understood where I was coming from in my pain. None of them lost their lover and spouse.

And even if they had, all of our relationships are unique and thus our loss.  We can relate to each other, but to each of us, we are mourning our own unique relationship.

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Kjayne, My heart breaks for you in finding yourself becoming a member of this unwanted club of grievers. I am deeply sorry. I understand your pain, confusion, shock, disbelief, all the emotions we feel and find so hard to cope with. A living nightmare would be a way to describe this life we find ourselves in. In the beginning I couldn't function. I cried buckets of tears, paced the house looking for my husband.  I couldn't eat, dropped 25 pounds and only took a shower when I absolutely had to leave the house. I was a complete mess. If it wasn't for taking care of our cat and dog, I have no idea what would have happened to me. I am still a mess emotionally and mentally. But, I am progressing. It is a slow process and takes time and patience. My heart is always going to be broken. I miss my husband every second. But this life requires that I move forward with it. I still don't have an appetite and eat very little. I still ride the waves of grief with spells of crying and feeling like there is no point to anything. I can do chores now even though my heart isn't in it. I interact more with people even though my heart isn't into that either. I'm making an effort in getting through each day just to get another day behind me. Just a state of existence because I have no choice. I do find my greatest peace and comfort in being outside. Just doing the usual yard maintenance and being with nature has been the most helpful.

Keep coming to the forum here. It is a safe place to express your emotions and thoughts. We are here for each other. Sending prayers of comfort to you.  (HUGS)

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Karin,

I'm sorry you too are going through this.  We walk this together like a family, although we've never met in person, we know each other in a way others never will.  We're here to listen when you want to talk.

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On 7/13/2017 at 1:26 AM, Kjayne said:

Hi my name's Karin. I also lost my soulmate 10 days ago. I don't know how to go on. Don't want to get up or get dressed or go out. I am feeling so much pain. Just want to let you know I understand your pain. Just so much pain. Strength. Hugs. Karin 

Kjayne

I am so sorry for your loss. The pain can and will sometimes be so unbearable, you'll think you won't make it through.  Pain comes in all forms; the small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain we live with everyday.  Then there's the pain we just can't ignore, a pain so great that it blocks out everything else, makes the rest of your world fade away until all you can think about is how much you hurt. 

I know right now you're probably in a dark place and that is normal.  Even if you can't get out of bed and all you can do is breathe; take all the time you need.  Everyday is a battle and some days you'll demolish everything in your path; other days, you'll hold on to dear life.  Either way, you are a warrior - never forget that.  You may not ever get over the pain, but you'll get through it where the pain is not so intense and it will make you stronger.  Not today or tomorrow or even next month; but you will get through it.  Little by little; day by day, step by step.  You made it through today - that's a start.

Continue to post if you want.  We're always here if you need to talk, vent, cry, or listen.  God bless you and give you the strength and peace you need in this most difficult time. 

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On ‎7‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 11:26 PM, Kjayne said:

Hi my name's Karin. I also lost my soulmate 10 days ago. I don't know how to go on. Don't want to get up or get dressed or go out. I am feeling so much pain. Just want to let you know I understand your pain. Just so much pain. Strength. Hugs. Karin 

Hello Karin,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't respond back when you posted and wanted you to know we are in a group that understands your pain. I'm sending out hugs your way.

I went through a few days of feeling angry that life robbed me of all the plans me and Alfred had for the future. I went through moments of hating to see brides on television upset about their dresses not delivered because of a company's bankruptcy. The situation reminded me that the dress I was planning to put on deposit would never be worn by me next year when we got married. Jealousy ate at me for a few days where I hated seeing other people's happiness. An acquaintance had a baby and I couldn't bring myself to congratulate them, even though I was happy for them. 

I then went through moments of not realizing Alfred was gone. I woke up thinking he went to the store or outside for a smoke. I went through a numbing few days realizing the rest of my life is just me without him by my side. I know his heart is with me, but I'll never have him speak to me again. He will never sing to me again. I don't want to get up some mornings, but I know that sitting at home will lead to me wanting to fall into old bad habits. I came too far in my life with Alfred by my side to back slide and take walks to the park and work out. I walk and exercise myself to exhaustion and then let sleep take over for the rest of the night. 

This is the new normal for me. I lost my soulmate too, and life now is on its own. I'm taking each day one at time. 

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On 7/19/2017 at 10:04 PM, Marshacompton said:

This is the new normal for me. I lost my soulmate too, and life now is on its own. I'm taking each day one at time. 

That is all we basically can do. Take one day at a time and try to fill that daily void the best we can and try to let sleep fill the night time void.

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