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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Djh0901kc

Don't know what to say

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1 hour ago, Djh0901kc said:

If there was anything she would leave me it WOULD be a brown hair.

Kayla knows what you loved about her. What better than a strand of her hair for a sign? Trust Kayla in sending you a sign that she knows you would recognize. Our loved ones spirit and the afterlife IS real. They ARE alive, just in another dimension of life. They can do many amazing things. TRUST and BELIEVE!!

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3 hours ago, Paluka said:

I am not one to take things on Faith alone. I never have been. However, Lauri’s death has forced me to confront aspects of life and death that I never have before. Yes, I had a tiny bit of belief that there was some form of afterlife. Now, I know there is another level of existence and I wish I could at least visit there to see Lauri. 

I hope that finding Kayla’s hair allows you some peace and hope that you’ll be reunited some day. 

That's exactly what happened to me.  Prior to my wife's passing, I was one of those folks who poked fun at "woo-woo" people who believed in anything more than the physical body.

Then unusual things started to happen to me almost immediately after my wife's passing.  There were multiple instances, most of all were completely unexplainable.  And just when I decided to accept the possibility and told myself to become "open-minded," then that was when I received MORE signs followed by my 1st ever visitation.

To this date, I still feel my wife's prescence inside the house and lately, my hair/head has been rubbed frequently.  Yes, I know this sounds weird, but it's comforting me and I've never had these sensations in the past.

Also, last night I received a "soft" visitation from my wife.  I woke up this morning with an abandoned bicycle left at the front of my walkway. (Let's just say no one abandons a bicycle here because you would have to walk far far away to where you need to go).   Incidentally, last night I also received a dream with my wife there -- though it was not nearly as vivid as the 1st visitation.   I am accepting that my wife stopped by last night to see me while my spirit was in the astral realm.     She came to visit me because today I participated in a particular fundraiser walk for an illness --- an illness which took my wife's life.   It all makes sense (to me).    

I'm a believer.   My wife is still around --- just in a different form.

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1 hour ago, Azipod said:

 

I'm a believer.   My wife is still around --- just in a different form.

I am a believer too. Prior to my husband's passing I saw a lot of signs although sometimes I'm thinking maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me . But it kept happening repeatedly from then I just acknowledge and embrace these signs.  In fact while writing this post he's giving me a sign again. I'm watching tv right now but not really paying attention and I told myself that I feel so lonely and that I miss him then my lamp just keep flickering non stop. I texted one of our friends and she won't believe me so I sent a video and she is freaking out right now. It's very comforting I know my husband is always here with me when ever I need him the most. 

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4 hours ago, KMB said:

They can do many amazing things. TRUST and BELIEVE!!

This is very true KMB!

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2 hours ago, Azipod said:

I'm a believer.   My wife is still around --- just in a different form.

I am happy for you. They do let us know they are with us.

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1 hour ago, Maria0419 said:

It's very comforting I know my husband is always here with me when ever I need him the most. 

You bet they are!!

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You guys gives me hope that may be my husband also looking me and with me, although I have received many signs from him but still sometime I doubt. From past few days I have not receive any sign or maybe I am not noticing those, but after reading above mentioned experiences I am really hoping that he is with me always.

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21 minutes ago, LoveGoli said:

You guys gives me hope that may be my husband also looking me and with me, although I have received many signs from him but still sometime I doubt. From past few days I have not receive any sign or maybe I am not noticing those, but after reading above mentioned experiences I am really hoping that he is with me always.

LoveGoli,

Your husband is with you. It takes a lot of energy for them to send signs. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances, their energy cannot break through. But that doesn’t mean he is not there.

During my earlier weeks, I was so distraught that I did not receive any signs. As soon as I told myself to be open minded, a bunch of them came.  I received 3 signs and a visitation within a week and a half!

The laws in the spirit world do not follow what we do and how we think here on earth. Things over there do not operate on logic and what makes sense. But instead, things are done differently there because it’s a whole different realm.

I can only encourage you to stay open minded, be centered and grounded as often as you can, and meditate. As soon as you believe, things will happen.  Things will happen when you least expect it. Just welcome the signs and they will keep coming.

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23 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

But I can’t explain where the hair came from. It’s impossible. Everything has been washed elsewhere or wasn’t even here while Kayla was alive. It couldn’t have come from anywhere.

I smile at this...I know you are one who likes scientific explanations, but sometimes even science has to admit to some mystery.  We don't know everything, we can't explain everything.  What if, just what IF she is reaching out to you?!

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

I smile at this...I know you are one who likes scientific explanations, but sometimes even science has to admit to some mystery.  We don't know everything, we can't explain everything.  What if, just what IF she is reaching out to you?!

I hope so. Desperately.

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2 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

I hope so. Desperately.

Choose to believe in the power of her love for you and your love for her.

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4 hours ago, Paluka said:

Choose to believe in the power of her love for you and your love for her.

Amen!  They want to communicate and let us know they are still here with us,  just as much as we do.

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I live very much on faith in our love for each other, just as we did when we were building our relationship.  The Bible describes faith as "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Heb. 11:1  That seems to sum it up to me!

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I had another of the dreams where they saved her. They’re crushing any will to live I had left. Every time I wake up it’s like I lost the winning lottery ticket.

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5 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

I had another of the dreams where they saved her. They’re crushing any will to live I had left. Every time I wake up it’s like I lost the winning lottery ticket.

Those kind of dreams of Kayla will eventually fade, Djh. Your mind is still processing her loss. I had quite a few dreams where I was taking care of and trying to get my husband all healed and fixed up. They were heart breaking when I woke up and realized none of it was true. Have patience with yourself.  You might still be going through the denial phase, which is confusing and oh, so painful to deal with.

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40 minutes ago, Djh0901kc said:

I just want it to be true so badly.

Of course you do, we all do. That is why it is so hard, and takes so long, to wrap our mind around how a person can be alive one moment and gone the next. It is such an instantaneous, traumatic impact for us to even face. We don't want it to be real, but it is--------   (HUGS)    It took me around 8 months before I fully recognized that my situation was indeed real.

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16 minutes ago, Djh0901kc said:

I’m ready to give up. I can’t stop thinking about her. I just want to be with her

I know exactly how you are feeling, Djh. This is not easy. Maybe this would be the time to begin taking baby steps out of your comfort zone, and trying to place your focus on something else. Going for walks, stopping in to visit others. Even volunteering at an animal shelter, where you can give care and love to the animals. Where you are at in the grieving at this time, distractions are needed to get out of your own head for awhile. It does help. The more often you make these attempts, the less difficult it becomes. (HUGS)

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1 hour ago, KMB said:

I know exactly how you are feeling, Djh. This is not easy. Maybe this would be the time to begin taking baby steps out of your comfort zone, and trying to place your focus on something else. Going for walks, stopping in to visit others. Even volunteering at an animal shelter, where you can give care and love to the animals. Where you are at in the grieving at this time, distractions are needed to get out of your own head for awhile. It does help. The more often you make these attempts, the less difficult it becomes. (HUGS)

I go to the movies by myself every week or so. Other than that I just go to work or play video games and watch tv at home. I don’t think I could be around people long enough to do much else.

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19 minutes ago, Djh0901kc said:

I go to the movies by myself every week or so. Other than that I just go to work or play video games and watch tv at home. I don’t think I could be around people long enough to do much else.

I really know what you mean. I have simply stopped caring about what others may think. I cry at work, I cry at church, in the grocery store, even at the gym. I am not going to hide my feelings (happy or sad or lonely) any more. This may make other people uncomfortable but that's just tough. I have lost my true love and soulmate. I will cry for many years to come; at least I'm getting out of the house and trying.

I worked out yesterday. One of my gym friends mentioned that he hadn't seen Lauri with me in a while. I told him the truth. I actually said "Ted, she died 6 weeks ago." I did not know but Ted's son had died 21 years ago. We talked for 30 minutes about what helped him. He told me to call him whenever I wanted to do so. You just never know what others can offer or what they've been through. I'm not being flippant about this either. Ted had tears in his eyes when we talked. What I mean is that by isolating myself I have been depriving myself from some valuable experiences and people who can help me go through this.  

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I just don’t think anyone can help me. Over the past 20 weeks I have talked to all kinds of people. No one has offered me anything other than it will take time or all the same old cliches. The only person who I even think understands is my Grandma. She and my Grandpa were together for 60 years from the time she was 17. She gets it. She knows there’s nothing she can say that will make anything better. And that’s why she’s the only person I can be around for any length of time.

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48 minutes ago, Paluka said:

I really know what you mean. I have simply stopped caring about what others may think. I cry at work, I cry at church, in the grocery store, even at the gym. I am not going to hide my feelings (happy or sad or lonely) any more. This may make other people uncomfortable but that's just tough. I have lost my true love and soulmate. I will cry for many years to come; at least I'm getting out of the house and trying.

I worked out yesterday. One of my gym friends mentioned that he hadn't seen Lauri with me in a while. I told him the truth. I actually said "Ted, she died 6 weeks ago." I did not know but Ted's son had died 21 years ago. We talked for 30 minutes about what helped him. He told me to call him whenever I wanted to do so. You just never know what others can offer or what they've been through. I'm not being flippant about this either. Ted had tears in his eyes when we talked. What I mean is that by isolating myself I have been depriving myself from some valuable experiences and people who can help me go through this.  

Paluka -- I just want to say that I've noticed that you've been really "processing" your grief and I just want to applaud you for that.  I've come across a few of your recent posts and I can surely tell that you are doing a lot of grief work by touching on various aspects of your new (and old) life.    I know things are still very difficult and I'm sure you are still in a fog most of the time.   Being a new member in this grief journey myself, and having to have just emerged from the first of many layers of grief, I can tell that you are going in the right direction.    Keep it up.

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52 minutes ago, Djh0901kc said:

Jesus she’s been gone 20 weeks today. How can that even be possible

I would say the same thing to myself every week. Every single week. How is that possible that another week has gone by? But time has a way of doing that. You have survived for 20 weeks. You will survive for another 20 weeks. And another----- At some point you will look back and see the progress you have made. Little bit by little bit. We don't notice the progress at the time, but when you look back and really start recognizing the changes, you can pat yourself on the back and say to Kayla, " I can keep doing this for you".

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