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      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Djh0901kc

Don't know what to say

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LoveGoli   
6 hours ago, TooDevastated said:

My death woudlnt really be such a tragedy as none of the people in my life depends on me. I'm not the only child for mum, so she'll be fine. My sister is planning to get married next summer so she'll be fine. They all still have the most important person for them in their lives. And I no longer play the leading role in someone's life! Nobody is interested in where I spend my days, what I am doing, or actually deeply care about how I feel... 

You just wrote all my feeling. No one deeply care, I know my family do care for me but still i am no more leading lady of someone life, i am not the most important person for someone. Its just so harsh and I can't live like this.

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LoveGoli   
6 hours ago, TooDevastated said:

I went to sign up at a local pool so I can move my arms a bit to get rid of all the tense muscles that ache at nights... I thought about what it'd be like if Bruce were still alive. He'd drive me to the surgery to get tested for Hep B&C. He'd take me shopping for bathing suits. He'd even sign up with me so we could do it together! 

We cared about all the little things in our lives that even the fact that noone cares about what I eat everyday hurts me! He'd ask if I was hungry and bring over Thai food etc. He noticed all the little changes I made in my appearance, like coming my hair different or putting on a new skirt. There is absolutely nobody now. 

My husband called my everyday at lunch time what i ate and from last 8.5 years there is no day when we did not ask each other about our lunch but now no one is there to ask me if i ate something or not. Every little care i miss, every small things reminds me , now i am no one whose presence important for anyone. No matter if i am eating or not, i am alive so people know i must be eating fine.

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LoveGoli   
45 minutes ago, Azipod said:

I feel so sad tonight. It’s Friday and I’m home from work, in the house alone.  I feel like I’m going to faint (I am OK).  I’ve never felt this Level of sadness and emptiness.

i really do hate Fridays.  It is the start of another weekend without my wife. It also marks the completion of another week without my wife.

Ive always expected grieving to be difficult.  But I’ve never imagined that I can go through so many levels and types of sadness. The different feelings are indescribable.

 

Here it is Saturday morning , again all alone, watching others so excited and i am here in my pain. I really miss my goli, i wish he was here then if i dresses up i would ask him how am I looking and his eyes would say everything. He would ask me about his dress, to help him to get ready, for all small things like socks, tie. I really miss those small moments but nothing in my hand other than cry.

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LoveGoli   
6 hours ago, TooDevastated said:

I went to sign up at a local pool so I can move my arms a bit to get rid of all the tense muscles that ache at nights... I thought about what it'd be like if Bruce were still alive. He'd drive me to the surgery to get tested for Hep B&C. He'd take me shopping for bathing suits. He'd even sign up with me so we could do it together! 

We cared about all the little things in our lives that even the fact that noone cares about what I eat everyday hurts me! He'd ask if I was hungry and bring over Thai food etc. He noticed all the little changes I made in my appearance, like coming my hair different or putting on a new skirt. There is absolutely nobody now. 

Do you have any idea why arms muscle aching too much, after this loss i have continued ache in my neck, arms and shoulder. I have no idea why its hurting so much before this i was totally fine normal.

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LoveGoli   
10 hours ago, KMB said:

It is really not another person's responsibility to make us happy. Happiness comes from within ourselves. The people we love only enhance that happiness.A lot of this grieving is for ourselves. What and who we miss and were used to. What we had planned in our minds got blown apart.Everyone has a fantasy land going on in their mind. Reality has a way of stepping in and destroying that fantasy. It is so very painful and insufferable when it does. Your loved ones death was not a mistake. His life plan was completed. Whatever lessons his soul needed to learn had been accomplished. Whatever he was to teach you through your relationship was taught.

I really don't understand what he learned at age of 30. We were just started our life and there so more to do , how he can learned something so soon and what he learned.A

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KayC   

It's taken me a while to read all of the posts written since yesterday morning.  Djh, I agree with KMB, sounds like her family is toxic and needs avoided.  George's dad didn't contact me or attend George's funeral, even though offered a ride and explicitly invited.  George used to drive two hours to visit him on a regular basis, yet his own dad couldn't be bothered to attend his funeral?  A year later he called me, badmouthing George.  I reminded him how George always was good to him and told him to call me when he had something good to say, said goodbye and hung up.  He apparently never did find anything good to say because he never called again.  I apologized to George but said I couldn't sit there and listen to someone badmouthing him.  His father died years later, no one in the family even notified me, it's as if I don't exist yet I was the most important one to George in his life!  I long ago quit trying to figure out his family.  They were a thorn in the flesh to him, even though he loved them.

TooDevastated,

Death is not the answer you seek, and you WOULD be missed!  You're coming from a negative place right now, you have to keep that in mind before making decisions.  This is the hardest thing to go through, we have to give ourselves time to adjust and realize it won't stay the same in how we're doing.

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