rayaneaj

Dealing with mother's loss

7 posts in this topic

My mom passed away almost 8 months ago after battling ovarian cancer for three years. It was hard to go through of course, especially towards the end when she spent the last three months in the hospital. She fought very hard and always remained positive throughout the entire ordeal, even though she was only 54. I felt like as her family, we all had time to grieve and accept the idea that she was going to die. I was totally fine before, but I feel like it's hitting me now, and hitting me hard. I feel insecure, self-deprecating, lonely, bitter and sad all the time. How can I get through this? And more importantly, is this normal?

 

R.

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Dear Rayaneaj,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Even an expected loss like yours doesn't make it easier.  I feel all the same losses you feel almost 6 months after losing my mom and from what I read here, I think its normal.  The reality that she is gone brings new loss, new emotions, new layers you didn't know existed.  No one can understand unless they are facing it.  I am sorry for you, myself and everyone else.  I don't think time heals.  I think time enables you to get used to the loss, maybe it gets easier at some point, I don't know.  

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Hi sadandlost,

I'm so sorry about your loss as well. And thanks for your reply, while we each go through individual pains, it helps that others are going through the same thing. Here's to hoping for a better future x

R.

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My deepest condolences to both of you. I lost my mom four weeks ago. I'm not sure if this is only true of me, but my brain hasn't fully accepted the fact that my mom has died. In that small time slot between being fully asleep and fully awake, my brain thinks that my mom is still alive. This happens for a couple of seconds then I'm fully asleep. This may sound odd, but I look forward every night for those two precious seconds. May sound like ramblings, but it does happen to me. May our pains be covered by wonderful memories in due time.

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Dear rayaneaj,

My deepest condolences and sympathies to everyone here. I'm very sorry for your loss. It is a terrible shock. The pain and sorrow is so deep. I think it takes a long time for our minds to work out this new reality. Its been 9 months for me and I am still struggling. Trying to do different things to cope. I am sad if I try and I am sad if I don't. I can't seem to win. But I keep putting one foot in front of the other in hopes that eventually something will shift in my mind.

Thinking of you all. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

 

 

 

 

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Dear Rayaneaj,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and know exactly how you feel. My mum passed away in April after an 11 month batyle with ovarian cancer as well. I am finding her loss more difficult now than when she passed. We were very close and I still cannot believe she is gond even though I witnessed her passing and burial. Even though she was 79 years of age, the grief is unbearable at times. I wish I could hug her or hear her voice one more time and would give anything for that. She was a very special lady and has left a void in all our lives, in particular my dad. I feel very sad when I am around him as he is very depressed and misses her immensely. I don't know what is worse, feeling for him or grieving for my mum. She fought a very dignified battle and never complained - she was truly an inspiration. I am very grateful she passed peacefully and had minimal suffering, not to mention the level of care she received made the journey slightly easier. Even though we knew her cancer was terminal, her passing was unexpected and sudden. Nonetheless it is awful and pain of grief is indescribable unless you have experienced it for yourself. 

I have faith in Jesus and so did my mum, however, I still feel her loss and trust with time the pain will ease a little. I hopd she is resting peacefully with him and hope we will see each other again.

The pain you are feeling is very normal and allow yourself to grieve. You cannot measure grief and has several stages which include anger. Grief can take years to overcome, if ever, so please talk, meditate, pray, read , join forums do whatever you can to help you get through the time. Don't forget to look after yourself as I know your mum would have wanted you to. 

May Jesus give you the strength to battle on think about the time you will see her again. 

God bless. Xxxxx

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