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Nothing is the same after my mom died


Sweetheart346

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Sweetheart346

Today a really bad lightning storm came. I became depressed cause it just reminds me of how I would go to my mom when I got too scared of the storms and she would calm me down. Just her presence made me calm too. My sister is not comforting like my mother at all. And it sucks that I will never find anyone else that gives me comfort. She expects me to work on my summer homework due by the end of the week when I'm not in a clear mind for homework. As much as I want to work on it, I can't. Then my sis said that she can't believe I'm about to get a C in the class and it's a community college one. One C won't prevent me from getting into nursing school and she should understand herself how hard it is to get things done from grieving our mother's death. I walked away asking why can't I just be sad in peace then she said to be sad and do homework as if that is even possible. I just feel alone and this storm is not helping my mood at all and all my uncontrollable crying is making it hard to focus on my assignments.

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I'm so sorry for you -- you're so young to be going through something like this.  I lost my mom in a car accident 37 days ago - I'm 53 and she was 70 - and it's torture.  The world has been turned upside down, nothing feels right, and it's hard to even get out of bed in the morning.

Everyone grieves differently, and I wonder if your sister is feeling like she now has to take on the role of the mother and is focusing on that and using that to cover the pain she's dealing with?  If that's the case, the stress she's feeling, on top of trying to cope with the loss of your mom, must be overwhelming -- to say the least.

As for you, I know how hard it is for you to try to do homework at a time like this.  You're trying to navigate through this new crazy mixed up world that you hate and concentrating on anything at this point is a struggle.  I was in college when my dad died and I happened to be enrolled in an advanced calculus class at the time.  The class was already hard enough, but trying to find my way through after his death was nearly impossible.  I was lucky enough to have a professor that "gave" me a C, (and I do mean "gave" because it wasn't earned), and to this day I'm thankful for her and for that C. 

Have you and your sister sat down and talked about what you're each feeling?  Maybe it would help you both if you could each explain to the other one how you're feeling and how you're getting through the day so you's could be there to lean on one another.  If you ever needed each other, now's the time.  And if it's a possibility, maybe she can even work on your homework with you.  Two minds are always better than one anyway, and at a time like this maybe that would help you get through the class.

I hope you and your sister can talk and try to understand where you're each at in the grieving process, and lean on each other because, at the end of the day, the people we love are the most precious and important things we have.

Wishing you the strength to get through....

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My dad passed away two months ago and it's the hardest thing I think I ever had to go through and I'm a mother of 4 I've been his caretaker for the past 8 years I watched him day in and day out he used to function being normal and within a month period Of time it got to where he couldn't walk he couldn't talk I had to change his diapers, he dropped 80 pounds in 2 and 1/2 Weeks he stopped eating and he was the type of guy who laughed about everything even if it wasn't funny he was allowed man so it was really awkward and weird not to hear him talk and laugh and yell and be able to do things on his own and it's really hard to lose a parent my dad he was my best friend he showed me the way through life and he was 58 years old he was young I think the best way I delt with his death is I write our memories down on paper as I'm remembering him I write them down and I laugh and I cry about him while I'm listening to his favorite music it helps me out a lot everyone says it gets easier over time but what I found is everything I do it reminds me of him and it doesn't get easier you just learn how to cope with it and just try to always remember that the person you love is now in heaven and they are your guardian angel whether you believe or not when you find a penny it's a kiss from your guardian angel so make sure you pick it up every time and when you pick up that Penny kiss it and think of them I know this might not help I'm still learning to cope with mine too good luck it's hard I added a poem at the end of this for you to please read it

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