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Someone took my daddy away


missburk

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My name is Alisha. Three weeks ago my father was killed in a accident. He was ridding his motocycle and was hit fom behind. The kid that hit him, we were told had been dinking and doing drugs. I m only 23 and have a 2yr old son and two younger brothers. My parents just recently got devorced so i am the next of kin, an had to take care of everthing. I am so angry right now i feel as though he was murdered. My dad was an amazing man, fun loving and caring person. And now he is gone, some days when i get out of bed i dont even know how to go on. But i do becuse i have to. Me and my father were VERY close. We saw each other 3 or more times a week and talked on the phone ever day. He was my rock and i was his. He ws an amazing papa. Woran thought the world of him, and Woran was his everthing. I dont think a kid could have asked for a better papa. Spoied baby. lol. Well i dont know if anyone is going to read this, and im just rambaling on. Im just angry and had a few things to get off my chest.

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Hi Alisha,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Father. I lost my Mom on Oct. 17th of this year. It is painful and it is unfair, but like you said, we have to go on. I was very close to my Mom, as you were to your Dad. I really don't have any words of wisdom to offer you but I'd like you to know that I am here for you. And that I feel your pain. My Mom's passing was also sudden and unexpected.

It's great that you have your son to help you thru this. Keeping your Dad's memory alive for him will help you too. Our parents are still with us, we have to believe that. They are with us every step of the way.

I wish you peace Alisha.

Hugs,

Theresa

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thank you. i just take i day by day. I talk to him every night like he is still here. It makes me feel better inside. Even though i dont get a answer back i know he is listing. Iv been so busy latly, i guess that is a blessing, besacuse if i wasent i think i would be just walking around in the dark. i know i will never get over all this, i just hope for my hear  to be at ease and peace over it.

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To day will be 2 months now that dad has been gone. They say that things get easier as time gos by but for me im still the same as i was 2 months ago. im still as busy as i was then, with nothing yet accomplished and nothing settled. The family has started fighting witch as made things even harder. The boy that killed dad still has had nothing done to him yet. The way things look he will probaly get out of it all with a slap on the wrist. This angers me but i guess its not all up to me, if so he would be in jail right now. My son still hasent relized that papa is gone yet he still keeps telling me that papa is at work, and it braks my heart. He is still to young to under stand what is going on. But i know he misses him so much. I made it threw Christmas and the New Year ok but he was always in the back of my mind. My mind is still confussed of the hole thing not relizing that it is all real yet. But i guess that will come when everything starts to slow down. I just wish the hole legal asspect of everything would just go a little faster. My mind is tired of if all, im ready for my life to get some what normal again. I need to start planning my wedding, but iv been so busy with everything else.

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hardeyfamily

Hey~

I am 26 and am right their with you....  My mom was killed on Thanksgiving night due to a terrible freak like accident.  An 18 year old boy side-swiped the car trailer she was getting off of at the side of the road and threw her 80 feet out and she landed on the pavement. 

I was so close to mom.  I also have 2 small grandbabies a daughter who is four and a son who is 2.  I also have 2 older step-daughters who loved her like a g-ma. 

I am the oldest of two daughters and have also had to plan everything, handle the legal stuff, pay for everything etc.....  I feel like it is going on on on and on....  I am ready for it to be over.  This kid is also getting nothing out of the accident.  I am there too. 

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Alisha:

I was a young 27 when I lost my daddy.  He was sick for 7 long years with cancer.  I will be 32 next week, and in these past almost 5 years, I've learned alot about what it's like to grow in life without my precious father.  I'm sure you've heard all kinds of "time will heal" and "you'll be OK".  The thing is, you will be.  My son turned 2 in September--never knew his grandpa.  But you know what.....I really believe daddy visits him.  My litttle guy will sit and just talk away and when I ask him what he's doing, he just points to nothing.  I believe he is talking to my dad.  He certainly can pick out a picture of him.  He even points to the sequince of pics from the day he was born and says "PaPa". 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you will never forget the love he had for you--you shared something special with your daddy--every little girl does.  It does get easier over time, but I still have some really hard times.  Notice I say "times" and not "days".  There will be a day that you will be able to think about him and smile instead of cry.  Just know that he is still looking out for you and your little man. 

Hang in there girl.  I wish you peace, and send you hugs.

Tracy

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i know exactily what ur talking about. Life is like a roller coaster now and probaly will be for a long time. Death isent just something that u wake up one day and WOW ur done greaving that will never happen i understand that. I know i still have though battle to go through, I havent yet had the time i need to just sit and think. But thats all i do anymore is thing. Life is still busy busy and i know that when the time comes that im not busy no more i know ill have my downtimes on this rollercoaster of life. I will never forget the bond we had. It was something soooooo special that when i reflect back on it smiles come to my face because he made me so happy and i know he is probaly reflecting to with the same smile. I relize that no matter how angery i get he will not came back and the only thing i can do is remember. So when ever im sad i get he stuff out the pic the cloths i carry somehting or ware something of his every day froma bandana key chain or even socks. it might sound silly but to me he is always there. i know one day the smell of him will be gone on his things but i know he will always be there. I know he is with my son everyday. Woran makes comments about him all the time. He is only 2 turning 3 in about 2 weeks but he is one smart kid. He and my dad were insepretable there were together all the time and loved each other more then words could describe. When dad passed we didnt say anything to him but he started saying some off the wall stuff i dont know if maybe he heard some of the stuff we said under our breaths or HE KNEW. I think he knew. He would be playing all by himself and then come out of his room all sad and mad and yell stop crying and then at one point he would drp to the floor and hang his toung out of his mouth and say im dead mom. And the he said mom papa pooped. dont know that that one ment. My dad would always ask him whos papas boy and he would answer me. After he passed he would sit on the couch and rock and i could hear him wisper papa loves ma over and over and when i would ask him what he ways saying he would tell me mom im papas boy and he loves me papas at work. I would tell him yes beacuse i thought he was to young to understand but then lately out of the blue he started telling me mom papa is in the sky he rides his cycle in the sky. Its crazy i know my dad comes to him i knew if he had only one place he could chouse to go it would be with him. Im sorry im rambaling on

god bless

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Yesterday was the date of 3 months passed it was a sad day. I went to the cemetary and put up new flowers. But whats realy getting me is what is to come. On Monday i have to go to court for the kid that killed him.Im very scard to see his face. I was told that i had to write a letter to read that day, to him and to the judge. Wow i think i worte the letter like 4 diffrent times till i got it just the was i wonted it. I have already been told that he will probaly only get his lisence taken away for a year, 5 years probation, and comunity service. Whick i think is a load of Shi*. Im hoping that my letter will cause him to serive some time at least 30 day or somthing. He took a life he sould have to. Well wish me luck for my day of Hell

:(

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I hope everything works out for you today.  It's so not fair that this person probably won't get serious prison time for taking your daddy away.  Stay strong today.....I can't imagine confronting that person. 

I'll be praying for god to give you strength.

Peace and love to you....

 

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well things didnt go the way i wonted them to go today. he entered a plee of no contest and they set another date for sentencing. i thought that they were going to do it all in one day but they didnt. but i got to see him which was very hard to do i havent cryed that hard in a while now its like he opened the wounds again. he tryed to talk to me but i just walked away im not ready for that. there will be a time but not now. then when i came home i was so exusted i took a nape and had a crazy dream about dad that felt so real like he was realy there. i just missed him so much today its like going back to start and starting all over again.

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hello friend,I first want to sat i am new on the computer and all that .i hope you get this email ..I am so sorry for the loss of your dad ,,you know as i sit hear reading everyones emails  are trying oo  it breaks my heart ...so bad  because one i know what you are kind of going through ..  i am still as of this day 4 years agao i lost my boy freind dec2 2003..i still am so  messed up over it   .we  went to St Louis that wed before thanksgiving had a beautiful  wonderful time..came home saturday went out to eat  watched tv did the usual ..moday went to work came home early 10;30 are so  i called his work  to see what he  wanted for lunch, because i always took him his lunch, well they said he didnt feel well and went home , i called him and he said he thinks he caught bralynns (my grandaughters )  cold  aat 11;00 are so i went over there he was laying down said honey i think i got bray brays cold .which at that time i went by there to check on him i had dr. appt  for bralynn,,he ask me to feel his head to see if he felt hot ,which he didnt ,, he felt alittle clamy well i told him when i get back from doctor . i will make him some soup and see if he feels better i kissed him on forhead took off gone less than 2hours  came back and found him  he passed away .i guess what i am trying to say ..Is one that i still to this day 4yrs later  istill am a basket case ..they say it takes time,,some people sooner than others ..and you know what till this day  now you maY AND I KNOW MY KIDS THINK I LOST IT  ..WELL maybe i have ,, to this day i have every of his , clothes shoes , shampoos deorderant anything in a house  ,,still havent used  anything  he bought i  know this sounds aliitle to much but you know what,,when and  IF i ever decide to pack his stuff away  i will  ,,i love him so much i still cant let go..i know ..my heart still hurts  over this  sosweetie i know how  you kind off feel,, god bless your heart hea if you ever want to chat  with me  feel feel to email me  ok my email address is twmkmforever@yahoo.com i hope everything goes ok   on the court stuff  i have  learned one thing and PLEASE who is listening  DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE   hope to hear from you all  god bless my friend       from Kathy

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I just wonted to give everyone an update. on Wed me and my brothers went to court for the sentencing of the kid that killed my father. lets just say things didnt end up the way that i wonted them to. He ended up with his lisence taken away for six years(he had 3 previous accidents on his record) probation till he is 21, 40 hours of community servious 20 of those hours have to be spend talking to 16 17 yrd. kids that are getting there lisence. And a $100 fine. I had to write and read a letter to the judge, i asked that he be put away for 30 days. The judge said no that the kid has to life with this the rest of his life and that he is so affected by this. Like he was the victum. Last time i checked we were the victums. And she said that no matter what she gave him it would make me feel better and it wouldnt make him come back. But what about justice. It just shows how much the justic system values a life. That day i was very angery and up set, it was as if my father was no buddy. But my father was sitting there doing nother wrong what he was hit buy that kid. I dont know i guess there is nothing that i can do about it now. i tryed my hardest for him i fought so hard but in the end i failed. i gues that is the only thing that i could do for him . Inside i fell that i stood strong and walk a very long and hard fath for him and i know he would be proud of me for that. I know he wold have done the same for me. I just miss him so much. I have crazy dreams about him now, that he just shows up and tells me that he didnt die that he woke up in the woods and was in a coma this hole time and the person that we barried was no him it was someone else. But i know that is not true , it is just me wishing he would come back. I hope that he is happy with me and and all the choices that i have had to make, and that i have done everything right.

I love u dad and miss u with all my heart.

cheese.bmp

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its been a little while sense i have wrote anything. life has still been a little carry but we are managing. dad finely got his head stone put it and it looks amazing but they put the wrong dad on it. it should be fixed here soon it was a little upsetting but sometimes you just have to not let things bother you. It will be fixed that is what i keep telling my self. Life is starting to get back to normal a little bit i still have y moments that i break down and cry when i miss my dad but my mind has finely realized that he is gone. i didn't think that the day would ever come.it was like i was in a cloud and nothing was real and it was all a dream. this hole experience has made me realize how strong of a person i am. i have dealt with so much and over came so many thing. i think  the person that made me that way and he did it for a reason. so i could do all this for him. i thank him for everything that he has ever done for me he was alway there for me and he always will be still. i love him and i know he knows that and i know he will always be looking over woran. sometimes i have dreams about him and when you sit and think of the meaning behind the dreams it is always that he is there beside me making me stronger. the other night i had a dream that i was in a rodeo and he was there at my side telling me that i could do it i could win. and guess what i did. lol i know it is a little strange of a dream but i felt the meaning behind it. i don't think he will ever be truly be gone, maybe in person but not in spirit. im happy that he finialy gets to be with his mother that he missed so much. i am sad that he wont be with me on my wedding day  that is only a month and a half away. i always dreamed of him walking me down the aisle and having that daddy daughter dance but i really don't think that he will still miss it i know that he will still be by my side. it will be hard to make it threw that day without him but in all this i learned sometimes you just got to do what you got to do.

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its been away sence iv ebeen on. life has started to go. but it will never be the same. i think about dad EVERY day. he is constantly in the back of my head. my brothers are starting to go one. but i dont think they will ever e ok. i worry about them all the time. they use dad as a crutch in life never being able to make themselfs ok. but in the same time they leave all there burdens on me and my mom. but as long as they are close and i know they r ok i guess that is all that matters. only 2 more months and it will be one years to the day. and i cant belive it has been that long. when i look back it is so sad to know that i havent seen my dad in 10 months wow 10 months i couldnt even go 2 days with out seeing or talking to him. i guess he will always be an open wound that will never heal when ever u think a scab is starting to form its opened back up again.

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its been awhile sence i have up dated. so i figured i would let everyone know how we are doing. it has been a year an 4 months now sence dad has been gone. things have been getting a little better. i still have my days were i just brake down but i dont think those days will evere go away for the most part we are alright. today is my baby brothers 21st birthday. wishin that dad was here to see it. i know he would have been a big part of this day. my dad celebrated my 21st with me but he never got to for both of my brothers. i am dreading tuesday. i have to go an listen to the boy that killed him give his depesition. when i got the phone call an was told about it i just started thinking i have never been face to face with this kid. an i have never even heard him speak. the few times that i did see him it was from a distance of a court room. i started to tremble an well up with tears. i finillay get to hear the truth of what had happened. that is what i have always wnted but at the same time i am so afraid of it. what if the truth hurts me more. an being face to face with him an no this if the person that killed my dad. i know that day if going to be a tough day for me. i havent cried in a while but evere sence that phone call i have cried every night wish my dad was here just to talk to.

i miss all the talks we would have. i miss cooking for him. i did that all the time. my dad loved my cooking an i always made exta just for him. i sit an think about dumb things like can i still remember what his hands an feet looked like. the way his hair felt when you ran your fingers threw it. his laugh. i still can remember it all, but it sadins me that one of the only things i cant remeber is what he smelled like. everyone has there own unique smell but i cant remeber his. now that some thime has past part of me also feels like he was ment to be gone. then when the say it was there time. part of me feels like that is true. he would always tell me im not going to live forever, im going to die younge, you are going to have to be the one that barries me. it was all true an it was like he already knew it an was trying to prepare me for it. i try to still talk about him alot in memorie so my son wil never forget him. he was only 2 when it happened. an he remebers alot about him still. he asks me questions about him every day still i hope he never stops doing that so it keeps his memorie alive. well every one keep your heads up an god bless.

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The family and friends of Beyond Indigo would like let everyone know that Dawn Fisher (moderator of the Beyond Indigo message boards) lost her husband on Wednesday morning.  JD's death was an unexpected complication of surgery to remove a tumor.  Our most heartfelt condolences go out to Dawn and her children.  We know that there is no better place for Dawn to receive support than through these boards.

The online obituary for JD is here: http://fisherfamilyfuneralhomes.com/obits/obituaries.php/obitID/307941

If you'd like to send her condolences, you could send her a private message on the boards, visit the above obituary and sign the guest book (starting on Friday) or send materials to

Fisher Funeral Chapel & Cremation Services

1801 Chase Road

Logansport, IN 46947

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sadbeyondwords

Dawn,

I dont know that you will reading the boards any time soon as you suffer through the shock that has just occured. I am so sorry to hear the terrible news of your beloved husband. We have all experienced horrible losses in different ways. But the loss of your husband while in the hospital is close to my story of my beloved mom who died becasue of egregious medical errors...unexpectedly. I know how the wind is sucked out of you. I know that feeling of "but he/she was just supposed to go in for a routine procedure...this was not supposed to happen...how could this happen." I think about it everyday. I relive it everyday and the "what ifs" can worsen the grief. But Dawn, you already know all this. You have suffered previous loss which you have told us about. You have been with us through our journeys of horrible loss and have listened and have provided insight to us newer on this sickening, forced journey. But knowing and having experienced it before will never make it easier...I only hope you can slowly begin to heal from this loss as we all are desperately trying to do everyday. But we are all thinking of you, we feel for you and your family. I am so so sorry. My thoughts are with you.  

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Hi all,

We are getting down to five weeks to find out if we can hold the reunion or not. Could you please let us know if you will be attending and register online? We need 25 people total. This is an amazing opportunity to make something special happen. Just click the big banner at the top that says REUNION and follow the steps.

Love to hear from you.

Kelly

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