Missing my precious fur baby kitty who passed on June 19th, 2017

[FurryBabyAngels]

Her name was Myrtle. She was 14 years old and a major part of our lives. 3 weeks ago she was healthy and running around and then she suddenly started losing weight and became weaker. She was diagnosed with renal failure, a 3 cm mass in her abdomen, and on the day she died anemia. My family and I were fighting for her with all our might. We had gotten her kidney values down after 3 days of fluid treatments and antibiotics and appetite stimulants in a hospital. We were given sub Q fluids to give to her at home. She seemed to be feeling better, but then on the day she died she started walking even worse then before going sideways and bumping into the walls and bed. So we took her to see another vet who told us that we should take her in for another 24 hours of fluid treatment and antibiotics to bring her values down more and set up for a ultrasound for the next day, but that wasn't meant to be. Her becoming anemic is what killed her. We had taken her into the vet the day she passed away for the other 24 hours of fluid and antibiotics. We had so much hope for her making it through this. We gave her loves and kisses and told her we would be back for her. We were on our way home when we got the call. They had been getting her ready for the I.V fluids when all of a sudden she started gasping and then went into cardiac arrest. They rushed her back to the operation room and put an oxygen mask on her and tried to resuscitate her, but they couldn't and she left this world with a bunch of technicians and vets petting her and loving on her. My family and I did not get to say good bye. It hurts so much. I miss her so much. I feel so guilty for not being there and for not being able to save her, for not noticing her pain sooner. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  That has to be tremendously hard.  I hope these articles will be of help to you...  

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf 

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml 

and this one...even though it's not your mom, still, it's not being there at the moment of death so I think it's applicable. 

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/03/in-grief-coping-with-moment-of-death.html