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Mg152   

I've been married 30 yrs. 2 years ago, my inlaws asked us to come back to FL to help them as they were aging. We did. 

The day before Thanksgiving 2016, my father in law had a stroke. He was sent to rehab. Dec 29, 2016 I took mt Mother in law to the ER, she had to have a triple bypass. They both went to the same rehab/nursing home for 3 months. My FIL also  had Alzheimer's.

Hospice was involved with both of them after they came home and their health degraded so quickly. I think the rehab did something or didn't do something to cause this. My MIL had a stroke while in rehab because they took away her blood thinners.

My FIL came home around Feb 25 2017 (give or take) and I was his caregiver all day everyday. He was a wonderfully funny & entertaining person. On May 4, he told me "I'm gonna miss you Tricia". I broke down in tears & ran out of the house. It hurt cause I knew! He then asked for my youngest son, I won't reveal what he said to him but it was nice. The next morning, he passed away. I was broken hearted. It was a joy & a pleasure to care for him.

 

My MIL came home May 3,2017, I was her caregiver too. On June 14, 2017, I talked her into the light. She was suffering, had the "rattle" so I to,d her to head towards the light. She passed while I was talking to her & rubbing her arm & forehead. I dressed her in her favorite dress so she'd be pretty when she got to heaven. My heart was broken again. These people were like my own parents & now in 6 weeks they were both gone. I was caregiver for both of them. I don't know if I'll ever get over this. I'm 55, hubby is 61. I'm taking this loss a lot harder than he is. It really hurts. We didn't even get a chance to grieve the loss of my FIL and now she's gone too. I feel responsible though hospice said I went above and beyond. I did treat them both with love, care & respect. I loved these two people.

Recap FIL passed May 5 2017 & MIL passed June 14, 2017

How do I get over this? How can I stop blaming myself? Is it my fault? I can't sleep, I can't eat. My stomach is in knots. I feel sick every time I try to eat. I'm hoping someone here can at least commiserate with me. Thanks to all!

 

The pic of them was 1 1/2 yrs ago. It's unbelievable 

IMG_0131.PNG

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Mg152   

Also, I bought a tape recorder. Yep that's right a tape recorder cause I found their voices on their answering machine. My FIL had answered a call & it kept recording him being his usual funny self & I wanted to keep it to listen to later. My Mother in law had done the same & she'd left my hubby a couple messages when she was in rehab. I recorded all of them. Is that dumb? I cried the whole time. I can hear myself sobbing on the recording.

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Dgiirl   

My condolences on your loss.  It's tough to lose one parent, let alone two with a few months of one another.

I think it's beautiful you recorded their voices and it will bring comfort to you and your family in the coming months and years. 

I was very fortunate to have the forethought to email my dad how much I loved him last summer.  I told him all the things I remembered as a child and how good of a father he was to me.  I also have a few photos and selfies with him.  Although I wish I had done more, they have given me great comfort.  On father's day, I was able to read my email to him and his response.  It made me cry but also made me soooo thankful I was able to tell him everything I needed to tell him.

 

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Mg152   

Thank you! It's been rough & now we found out the will is no good. My hubby is the only living child so we shouldn't have a problem but he quit his job to help me care for my MIL so we are in a bind. They thought they had everything set but it's not so easy. So now we're heartbroken & cant pay any bills. Luckily they owned the homes that are next door to each other & they put hubbys name on the properties but the bank accounts & IRAs have to be probated. Lord! Say a prayer for us cause we are not spring  chickens. I'm disabled myself, hubby has diabetes & other various things wrong.

Please make a will, put your heirs on bank accounts, properties etc.. Make sure your attorney files the will with the county & check every so often to make sure your attorney is still alive. It matters!

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