2 amazing men

[CAKRandall]

I really do not know where to start this but here I go;

13 years ago this month I am became a widow at the age of 23.

It took me a long time to process through everything and for it to not hurt half as much as it did.

5 years after my husband passed I met someone who helped me more then possible with my grief.

He was there for me in more ways then I could ever have repaid him.

He had his fair share of medical problems and I stood by him through everything.

Well almost 2 weeks ago I lost him as well.

I am completely heartbroken and do not know what to do anymore.

[Francine]

I am so very sorry for your losses; it must be horrendous as well as heartbreaking.   The strange thing about a devastating loss is that life actually goes on.  When you're faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it - again, the world just keeps turning and the clock keeps moving.  I can only imagine you must be in disbelief, numb, frozen in time, unable to think, moving in slow motion, living in a fog.  After the numbing phase then the thawing out begins, the ache will settle in your heart and the pain of not having him with you will take over and control you for sometime - again.  There's no way you can fully express the pain of losing someone so dear to you.

I'm glad you were able to share some happiness after your husband's death, even for a short period of time.  From your post, it appears you were there for one another. It is amazing how God knows who belongs in our lives and who doesn't.   Whoever is meant to be there will be and those who are not meant to be will not.     All you can do is deal with things the best you can and hope those close to you, your friends and family are there to support you through this difficult time. 

Go bless and keep you safe.

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry, for both of your losses.  I lost my husband 12 years ago the 19th.  Today is his birthday.  Life is never the same, I've had to learn to roll with the punches, there have been many.  I made a good friend after he died (ours all disappeared, pronto!) but she moved to another state three years ago.  I have not had another friend like her since.  I'm working on developing friendships, it's slow and takes a lot of time and effort, but I keep hoping to meet someone that will be a good friend again.  No one can replace those we hold dear in our hearts that we've lost, but even knowing we can hope to make it through our lives is helpful.  Keep coming here, it helps me to know there's those here that get it.

Sometimes a fresh loss stirs up the old one so now you have grief compounded and it feels like a double whammy.  It might help to see a grief counselor.  Even attending a grief support group could be of help to you.  (((hugs))) 

[Francine]

46 minutes ago, KayC said:

 Today is his birthday

Awe, Happy birthday to George - I hope you will be able to celebrate it with good memories knowing the love you shared is still strong. Praying your day is a good one.  God bless!

[KayC]

Thanks!  It's weird because I doubt anyone remembers it but me.  I was just thinking, I don't have it on my google calendar...I don't NEED it on my calendar, I could never forget it!

[GhostofLight]

Just wanted to say that this is eerily similar to my predicament.  I don't know how you feel, but I know how you feel.  I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

I was married to a wonderful man for 18 years.  He passed away in February 2014.

Then I met another wonderful person toward the end of 2015.  The only problem was that he had already been diagnosed with cancer.

I fell madly in love with him... even though I knew how things would turn out.  I eventually lost him in March of this year.

I was wrong about the hurt.  I knew it would be awful, but it's maybe 100 or 1000 times worse than I'd imagined.  I'm starting to cry as I type this.

I'm sick of losing everyone.

[KMB]

CAKRandall and GhostofLight,--- I am truly sorry for your losses. It is hard enough losing one life partner, but to experience it again has to be completely devastating. There are no words that describe the emotional, mental, hurt and confusion. It causes you to question life itself and why we are here, if only to endure the pain of loss. The other side of the coin, you both were blessed in finding partners to love and be loved in return. That is the greatest legacy for you to carry on with. Sending prayers of peace and comfort to you both.

[KayC]

Ghostoflight,

I'm so sorry, it's just very hard.  To lose one's partner is the worst but to go through it again, wow.  I know the price of loving carries with it the possible pain of loss, I wouldn't trade the pain away, having had his love in my life was worth it all, but no way to describe the loss and what it feels like to someone who hasn't been through it.

[Meesh]

Cakrandall, i am so sorry for both your losses, the cruelty of what we have all been dealt is horrendous but to have it happen twice is horrific for you, i wish i had some comforting words for you but sadly i avnt, there are many times when im alone with my thoughts and i think to myself that i would be scared to love again because of the fear that the same would happen to me and so sadly for you it has and i feel for you so much, look deep inside yourself to find the strength that got you through it before and i wish you peace and comfort and a hug x