Members Azeria Posted June 5, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 5, 2017 Hello, I'm 16 years old and a high school student. Two weeks ago my dad suddenly died in his sleep, and the cause is still not 100% confirmed although doctors speculate he suffered a brain stroke or something similar. The thing is my dad showed no signs that he would die this soon in my life and literally hours before his death he was feeling perfectly fine. I was at a birthday the night before his death and while getting ready to go out I was having a chat with him on how ( me,him and my mom) would spend our holiday together. We decided that we would go to sea. I saw my dad for the last time while closing the door on my way out. I got back home at around 2 a.m, took a quick shower and went to sleep. The next morning I woke up pretty late, and as I had an exam that day I grabbed my stuff and went upstairs to study. I sat on the couch for about an hour after noticing my dad's phone on his bed. I thought he forgot it and that he was at work so I went to grab it. That's when I saw my dad's whole body covered with a blanket and a lot of blood around his mouth and nose. I quickly rushed over hoping that he was just sick or something but when I touched him he was cold as ice and frozen in place. I put my head to his chest in hopes of hearing his heartbeat... but nothing. I knew that my dad had died. My mom and grandparents heard me screaming and crying and came upstairs. We were all at a loss and still are. Every day seems to get harder to bear and I've had plenty of thoughts about suicide, and honestly the only thing preventing me from taking my own life is the remainder of my family. I just don't know what to do. I've been trying to act as if I was fine in front of everyone but I just can't anymore. I've completely shut myself in my own room and I can't even let my mom in. This whole thing feels like a long dream with no waking up from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted June 5, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 5, 2017 Dear Azeria, I'm very sorry for your great loss. I know its very hard right now. It is a terrible shock. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Please keep writing and expressing yourself. I know its hard to reach out now, but when you're ready maybe consider a grief counsellor or joining a support group. I find these websites helpful. What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. I know things don't make sense now, but keep reaching out. Thinking of you and your family during this very difficult time. Sending all my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Paradise Garden Posted June 5, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 5, 2017 Dearest Azeria, My heart goes out to you. What you have experienced is a trauma that is overwhelming. It can cause you to shutdown emotionally. You are making a starting by sharing your feeling here you do not have to bottle it up. It can be difficult to talk so sometimes writing your thoughts down can be easier. Take it one day at a time. Journal here as much as you like. Take care and let us know how you are coping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissionBlue Posted June 6, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 Dear Azeria, I'm very sorry for your tragic loss. You have a right to feel as you do, because you have been through one of the worst experiences possible in life. To lose a beloved father is terrible at any age, but even harder when you are young and you never expected it. It is good that you still have loved ones who give you a reason to keep living. Please don't add to their sorrow or give up on your future. Your dad would want you to live and thrive, and care for his loved ones as he cared for you. You are stronger than you think, because death is part of life, even when it happens prematurely for reasons that we can't understand. When loved ones die, they leave a wake of sorrow and pain that cannot be avoided, and shouldn't be ignored. You will have to experience your grief to get through it, but in time the pain will lessen. Don't expect others to understand how you feel, unless they have also endured intense grief, as many of us on this forum have and are still experiencing. We are here to support you and each other. I hope you find the following video helpful. It deals with sudden loss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztnn8W4qE2o Wishing you peace and comfort during this very difficult time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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