Members Inpain1985 Posted June 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 It is my fault my mom died. I diddent listen. She asked if i Would go with her to the doctor. I Said are you really sure it's something ? Why dont you just try to relax (she was a hyprocondiac) i got a bad feeling that she might die this time, but i diddent tell her in time. I just kept thinking about it over and over again. Maybe she is really going to die this time? She sounds more serious than usual. i diddent act in time, i did NOTHING. i feel so ashamed and guilty. i dont deserve to live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted June 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 Dear Inpain1985, I'm so sorry my friend, I know it hurts badly. And you feel responsible for what happened. I know its not easy to let these thoughts go. I did the same things. The first few months after such a shocking loss, we all do it. We ask ourselves the what-ifs and it feels like we'll never stop torturing ourselves. We strongly believe if only we did the ONE thing, than our beloved parent would still be alive. I still do this myself and its been almost 8 months later. So many people have offered me comfort and support and tried to tell me to be kind to myself. Its always easier said than done, but I hope you'll do the same. Try to give yourself maybe an hour a day to have these thoughts but then try to put them away for a little bit. Please continue to posts and share your feelings. Or try to seek out counselling or a support group. Its important to surround yourself with as many loving and supportive people as you can. I wish there was a magic potion to make these thoughts go away for you and me. You have a good heart. You wouldn't ask these questions if you didn't love and care for your mom so much. And of course, you didn't know what was to come. There are some good articles at Tiny Buddha and What's Your Grief that might help you cope. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Inpain1985 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 47 minutes ago, reader said: Dear Inpain1985, I'm so sorry my friend, I know it hurts badly. And you feel responsible for what happened. I know its not easy to let these thoughts go. I did the same things. The first few months after such a shocking loss, we all do it. We ask ourselves the what-ifs and it feels like we'll never stop torturing ourselves. We strongly believe if only we did the ONE thing, than our beloved parent would still be alive. I still do this myself and its been almost 8 months later. So many people have offered me comfort and support and tried to tell me to be kind to myself. Its always easier said than done, but I hope you'll do the same. Try to give yourself maybe an hour a day to have these thoughts but then try to put them away for a little bit. Please continue to posts and share your feelings. Or try to seek out counselling or a support group. Its important to surround yourself with as many loving and supportive people as you can. I wish there was a magic potion to make these thoughts go away for you and me. You have a good heart. You wouldn't ask these questions if you didn't love and care for your mom so much. And of course, you didn't know what was to come. There are some good articles at Tiny Buddha and What's Your Grief that might help you cope. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your response. What is your story and what do you wish you did differently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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