Members Bittergreen Posted May 31, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2017 I'm so angry I can't believe it. Just rage. All. the. time. Don't know how to distract myself. Can't give in to it. Not well enough to jog, punch pillows or be all constructive about it. Just angry as hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members M88 Posted May 31, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2017 My heart goes out to you, Bittergreen and I wish I could do something to help ease your anger and pain. All I can do is send you big cyber hugs and tell you what has helped me endure my loneliest, angriest times these past 72 weeks as I deal with 2 catastrophic life changing events. The man charged with the death of my darling man, is before the courts so there are very few people I can discuss his death with, which is very, very frustrating and depriving me of healing. I turned to a professional Hypnotherapist/counsellor. She recorded the hypnotherapy side of our consults but I find some of the videos on YouTube much more effective than hers. Michael Sealey's more recent studio recordings, in particular. There are many trained presenters and various content, to choose from for both hypnotherapy and guided meditation on YouTube. I stick with the stress related, sleep, and detachment from overthinking, type videos. Are you/have you seen a grief counsellor? They can usually offer good strategies for coping. Are there any grief support groups near you? If you don't have friends and family nearby, it is even more important to reach out to others, those who understand the huge toll our loss is taking on us. We here have all lost a much loved partner and understand how battered and bruised each others minds, bodies and souls are. We need a lot of tender, loving care to get through our grief. We need to look after ourselves as well as possible health-wise. None of this comes easy and we often have to push ourselves to do so. Please keep posting and reading. We are here to support each other through the toughest time we'll ever have to live through. Sending you strength, love and hugs X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 31, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted May 31, 2017 Bittergreen, As M888 suggested, it might help to see a grief counselor. Exercise is a great way to expend anger energy. Pets de-stress us and are good for that as well. A lot of people experience anger in grief, although not everyone. The grief counselor that has mentored me over the years says anger is not a stage, although it is common in grief, prolonged anger needs help as it's not good to stay in it long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted May 31, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2017 17 hours ago, Bittergreen said: I'm so angry I can't believe it. Just rage. All. the. time. Don't know how to distract myself. Can't give in to it. Not well enough to jog, punch pillows or be all constructive about it. Just angry as hell. I'm sorry for your loss, but hope you seek some counseling to help you get through. I just don't think it is healthy to feel rage - All.the.time. Holding on to rage is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. When my Charles left this earth, I was very angry - mad at the world and everything in it. God was top on my list. I learned that bottled up anger was literally eating my insides out. I knew it wasn't helping me at all and was just destroying me. I prayed asking God to release this rage, this anger and HE did. Little by little I didn't feel the rage and the anger subsided - I can say I felt peace within my soul and that inner peace was what I needed and still so to get me through. I learned every minute I was angry, I lost 60 seconds of peace of mind and it got me thinking - What does the anger solve? Nothing, but it can destroy everything. I agree, don't give into it; but don't let it devour you - when you let rage and anger get the best of you, they bring out the worst in you. Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the anger and rage that is still within you. My prayer is that God get rid of all your bitterness, rage and anger along with every form of malice that is in you and bring peace and healing to your soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bittergreen Posted June 1, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2017 Thank you Francine. I'm not religious but if it works for you that's grand. I am seeing a counsellor. I'm doing all the right things. It doesn't help the rage right now. Maybe in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted June 1, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2017 48 minutes ago, Bittergreen said: Thank you Francine. I'm not religious but if it works for you that's grand. I am seeing a counsellor. I'm doing all the right things. It doesn't help the rage right now. Maybe in time. I'm glad you're seeing a counselor and doing all the right things; hopefully in time, it will get better. And while faith is not your thing, I'll still continue to lift you up in prayer. Stay strong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 1, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted June 1, 2017 Bittergreen, I'm glad you're seeing a counselor. Anger is understandable, especially when you're experiencing things you have no control over like losing the most important person in the world to you. Sometimes finding some degree of control over something can be of some help in restoring some of that power to you...to me, knowing I was heard and understood helped, as I posted in my grief forum, as I'd felt all my power stripped from me the day he died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted June 2, 2017 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2017 Bittergreen, Well, you already know that long term anger and rage isn't healthy. If it is not released in a non-destructive manner, it will destroy you on the inside. Have you tried journaling? When you are angry, try getting it out on paper as to the reason why you are feeling that way. After a while of journaling, read your words and see if you can find a pattern that is causing the anger. Then, you can find a way to release and dissolve that pattern or whatever is triggering the negativity. Just an idea on my end. I journal every night and I've found it therapeutic and comforting. It has also been beneficial in seeing my own progress in this grief journey.We all need to find our own way through to the other side of grief, which is hope. (HUGS) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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