Widower constantly mentions wife like she is still alive.

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But he tells me he loves me. When he does this I know he is not in love with me. It's hard to compete with the dead. Is there anyway I can bring him out of living in the past and wake up? It's been over 5 years. 

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Dear Kati,

I think losing a spouse is one of the most traumatic things a person can go through. Grief is a long and hard journey. I know you love him and want to share a new life with him. Do you think he will consider grief counselling or joining a support group?  There are lots of resources in the community or through church that might also help. Maybe he would like to read these websites What's Your Grief or The Grief Healing Blog for additional support. I hope with some professional help, he can have the tools and skills to move forward with you.

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