Loss of mother and now father is very ill

[Ruowa]

I lost my mother at the age of 22. She battled cancer for 3 years and her last 6 months were painfully slow. It was hard losing her and I suffered from very deep depression during and after her battle with cancer. My father struggled a lot to be by her side always. He drank a lot after she died. Our whole family was in pain. Half a year after my mother died they found a tumor in my dads kidney that they thought was cancer. They removed the tumor and everything seemed well. Now I found out a few months later that he needs to start chemo therapy.. He has lost a lot of weight and I am very afraid of what will happen next. 

I am terrified. I am 23-years-old and the second oldest from all my siblings. I have an older brother who has been constantly living off my parents and needs more care taking than our youngest sibling. I have three younger siblings aged 22, 19 and 7. One of my siblings already stuggless with their mental health and is constantly on medication. I am basically the one who has to take care of my younger siblings and support them because I know my older sibling can't. 

We are all still not that mature and I am really scared. I am so sad.. I don't even know what I need. I just needed to let this all out.. I have to be so strong for my siblings yet I am suffering.

How do people do this? How are people capable of living knowing they will not have their parents there? I just need some reassuring words that everything is going to be okay.

[reader]

Dear Rouwa,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved mom. I know you and your family are going through a lot. Its really tough. (((hugs)))

I hope you can surround yourself with loving friends and family members. Also consider talking to a counsellor or joining a support group. Try accessing resources in the community or through church for support.

Grief is a terrible journey and we all take it moment by moment. Its the best any of us can do. I still struggle 7 months after my dad's passing. Please know it won't be easy but we are all going to make it. It does take time and tears but we'll get through it. Please know you are not alone. And we are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can.

You are an angel for being the strong one for your siblings. They are lucky to have you. Please don't be afraid to try and get help for the family during this trying time.

Thinking of you and your family. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

[The Girl]

I'm very sorry you lost your mom and that your dad is now battling cancer.  At this point nothing is definite.  Your dad may beat this and go on to care for you and your siblings.  Should things go south, rely on friends and family.  You know how a lot of people say, "if you need anything..."?  Don't be afraid to take them up on it.  They'll be there and they'll be happy to help.  

It's okay to take time for yourself to cry and be afraid.  Even as the caregiver to your siblings, it's okay to feel the very real emotions you're experiencing.  No one is strong all the time, and no one needs to be.  Your siblings will understand that it's a difficult time.  They have you, but you also have them.  Let them comfort you too.  It's not like the jig is up if they sometimes see you scared.  You'll still be just as comforting to them during your strong moments. 

[Ruowa]

Thank you for all the comforting words. I did not expect anyone to reply or see my post, so I am very greatful and thankful that you took your time to read this through and get back to me with your thoughtful words. I want you both to know that your replies meant a lot to me. ❤ @The Girl @reader