Members Abeck0486 Posted May 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 This is my first time posting here. I lost my wife almost a year ago. I though by now I would be able to get through at least one day without being a total wreck. I'm on all kinds of meds still, working a low pay low stress job, and can't seem to move forward, I am raising 10 and 7 year old daughters, with the help of my parents. I get out less and less, started having hallucinations, and don't even recognize the house I live in. Does this nightmare ever end? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted May 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Abeck0486, It is not easy moving forward. Sometimes we feel as though stuck in a time warp. We want what we can no longer have--- our spouse/partner and the together life we shared. Life did not stop with our loss. *Time marches on*, as the country song goes. We have to move forward also, in order to find hope and a new meaning, purpose. You have 2 lovely daughters that love you and look up to you.You are blessed to have your parents supporting you and being there for your daughters. At some point, we have to push ourselves a little to get out and carry on. Our beloveds would wish for us to keep living for ourselves, family and for them.Depending on where you live, there should be free things to do with your daughters when you are not working. Most cities/towns have free outdoor concerts, hiking trails, flea markets (just to walk around and browse, no need to spend money). Some museums, chamber of commerces, libraries, offer free children activities. Just going to a local park/playground with a small, inexpensive lunch packed from home is a good way for you to stay connected to your daughters. Have you been to your doctor recently to go over your meds and possibly making dosage changes? Have you been involved with a grief support group or a grief counselor? I know that losing your wife completely devastated you. It does get easier, it requires effort on our behalf to climb out of the grief pit. We will learn to coexist with our loss.Just remind yourself that your daughters need you now more than ever. Your wife is relying on you to take care of them, to raise them with her memories. You would want them to grow up to become role models like your wife was. They will carry on their mom's legacy of love into their own adult lives. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of them precious girls. Peace and comforting prayers to you. (HUGS) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted May 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 3 hours ago, Abeck0486 said: This is my first time posting here. I lost my wife almost a year ago. I though by now I would be able to get through at least one day without being a total wreck. I'm on all kinds of meds still, working a low pay low stress job, and can't seem to move forward, I am raising 10 and 7 year old daughters, with the help of my parents. I get out less and less, started having hallucinations, and don't even recognize the house I live in. Does this nightmare ever end? 36 minutes ago, KMB said: Most cities/towns have free outdoor concerts, hiking trails, flea markets (just to walk around and browse, no need to spend money). Some museums, chamber of commerces, libraries, offer free children activities. Just going to a local park/playground with a small, inexpensive lunch packed from home is a good way for you to stay connected to your daughters. Have you been to your doctor recently to go over your meds and possibly making dosage changes? Have you been involved with a grief support group or a grief counselor? I'm just 5 months in so I'm not sure I'm able to answer those whose been in almost a year. I would have to agree with KMB post. Try getting out more and as hard as it might be - try. The weather is getting warmer so try some activities that puts you and family outdoors. Grief counseling is a good way to help you get through your grief; it's help tremendously - I see a grief counselor one-on-one weekly and I also attend a grief counseling group that meets monthly. I strongly recommend one and/or both. I concur with KMB about the meds. Revisit your doctor to get his thoughts about lowering or perhaps increasing or changing it altogether. On more than one occasion, my doctor strongly suggested prescribing medication for my grief - I'm not a medicine person, so I declined. Hang in there and know that you are in our thoughts and prayesr. God Bless and keep you, keep us all, safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 18, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 Abeck, I'm sorry for your loss. No, I'm afraid there is no "end" to grief, but it DOES evolve and doesn't stay in the same intensity. We do get better at coping with it as we begin to adjust, but it takes longer than I can say to do that, there is no timetable, it's different for everyone as we are all different. I'm glad you have your kids and some help with them. Loss stress job right now is probably a good thing. As Francine said, it'd be good to get out, take your kids out in the sunshine, plan some fun outings for them, and try, for their sake as well as yours. You don't say if you've seen a professional grief counselor or not, but it'd be good to enlist their help getting through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted May 20, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 On 5/17/2017 at 0:54 PM, Abeck0486 said: This is my first time posting here. I lost my wife almost a year ago. I though by now I would be able to get through at least one day without being a total wreck. I'm on all kinds of meds still, working a low pay low stress job, and can't seem to move forward, I am raising 10 and 7 year old daughters, with the help of my parents. I get out less and less, started having hallucinations, and don't even recognize the house I live in. Does this nightmare ever end? Abeck0486, Have you taken the time to read my post "Autocharge my experience " or others. I am almost a year now (May 25 2016). In my post you will find I have pushed myself through the grieving process. Some others on here have been helping me and have been their when I have had set backs. I post hoping to answer question such as yours. It is my experience and may not be advisable for others to try and fallow but you should be able to learn from my posting. I will soon be posting about how I am doing / feeling at the one year mark. stay tuned. Autocharge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eagle-96 Posted May 22, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2017 On 5/20/2017 at 3:58 PM, Autocharge said: Abeck0486, Have you taken the time to read my post "Autocharge my experience " or others. I am almost a year now (May 25 2016). In my post you will find I have pushed myself through the grieving process. Some others on here have been helping me and have been their when I have had set backs. I post hoping to answer question such as yours. It is my experience and may not be advisable for others to try and fallow but you should be able to learn from my posting. I will soon be posting about how I am doing / feeling at the one year mark. stay tuned. Autocharge Thoughts and prayers to you as this week is your one year anniversary. Hoping that you find the strength you'll need this Thursday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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