Missing

[Butterfly2017]

I so miss my Mom. Each day I go through the motions, look out and care for my family. But today I really miss her as not here to talk to or even wave hello across our drive. Most days I can't even comprehend she has gone. Yet I cannot cry. A few tears but I pull it in and carry on.

I am back at work next week. I'm kinda hoping the numbness stays as work in a school. Still waiting on coroner, maybe that is why. Like parenting, they don't give out a hand book on how to deal/cope!

[The Girl]

I'm sorry you lost your mom.  It was very recent then?  There's no handbook, per say, but there are resources that discuss grieving.  We all grieve differently, yet there are many similarities.  The deeply emotional stages of grief bounce around, jumping back and forth, and not always with any pattern to them.  I lost my mom 3 months ago, and while some of it has mellowed, the stages of grief are still all over the place.  I'm not sure if we ever really get that they're gone.  At my mom's funeral I told my cousin that none of it felt real and he said it's been 6 years for him and is still shocking when he realizes his mom is gone.  It's a lot to process and it's long journey to acceptance, but, at least for me, it's been filled with several small steps that gradually amount to some progress.  

As you're able to take a little time for yourself, consider giving in to your grief.  As horrible as it feels, it helps in the long run.