I lost my dad when I was 14 and never recovered

[estranged]

I lost my dad when I was 14 and never really recovered. It's been ten years already and depression never really left me , I guess because I never dealt with the loss. He died all of a sudden due to a heart attack  and I never had the chance to say goodbye. After that my mum was severly depressed so I always avoided talking with her about his death in an attempt no to make her feel worse. On the top of that, I was bullied at school at the same time and didn't have any real friends to support me but I chose to hide the truth from my mum for the same reason like I mentioned earlier. In retrospect I understand that all this was a huge burden for a 14 year old and I shouldn't have dealt with everything on my own back then but I guess time doesn't come back and the pain is still here. I was wondering if anyone else feels the same way after such a long time? like your life stopped at that time and grief and depression have become a part of who you are.

(I apologize for my English, it's not my first language)

[Heretohelp]

I too lost my dad due to a heart attack, that was last year. I know people who have lost a parent and never spoken to anyone about it, now like you said depression and grief are apart of them. I'm hoping to start going to counselling to help me deal with my fathers sudden and unexpected death. Even though it's been 10 years for yourself, it's never too late to get the help. I've had counselling before, around 8 years ago and it helped so much! I was happy until what happened and I want you to be happy, your father wouldn't want you to feel depressed naturally.

Sorry I can't be much help. Just remember your father is always with you. :-)

[reader]

Dear estranged,

The loss of a parent is a terrible shock. I know you were trying to be strong for your mum and you didn't want to add to her pain. Its not uncommon to have feelings of grief and depression many years later. I was reading about Prince Harry. His mom died in a car accident when he was 12 years old and he didn't talk to a counsellor till he was 28 years old. I think it just goes to show, it is never to late to reach out.

Have you considered talking to a counsellor? Joining a support group? I also find these websites helpful What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog. I hope there are some other resources in your community or through church that can help you work through your thoughts and feelings.

I struggle with the same feelings and thoughts and questions. I think we all have them and wish things could be different. I'm a lot older than you, but I too feel like my life has stopped since my dad passed away last year. I keep telling myself to keep living and move forward but we all have our bad days.

Please know you are not alone. Take care the best you can.