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DDT

Do the dying lose awareness of their situation?

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DDT   

Seeing the state my dad is in, having lost all body fat and muscle leaving him literally skin and bone, sleeping 18 hours a day, eating only an egg a day, not being able to sit-up, walk or go outside, I really hope he is losing part of his mind so his awareness is not there. I really hope he starts to forget what he is going through and who I am. Though that is extremely sad, I think it is better for everyone, including him, that he isn't fully aware of his current state.   I can't imagine the torture it must be to be of sound mind in a body so ill with the reality of knowing death is any day. 

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Lisa k   

DDT, I don't know if they lose awareness. My mum didn't until her last day. Maybe it's different for each person but my being with her gave her comfort and me too knowing she wasn't alone. It ripped my heart out to see her so ill and frail at 66yrs old. It's the hardest thing to go through. 

Thinking of you

Lisa

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reader   

Dear DDT,

My dad was also very weak but I think he could still hear me. I know its very hard to see your dad in that condition. It is extremely painful and sad. And I'm so sorry because I know its hard to be strong. Keep holding his hand and telling him you love him. Because they say hearing is one of the last things to go.

Consider talking to a church leader or pastor or doctor about this for additional support.

We are all here to listen and support you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

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The Girl   

I'm very sorry for what you're going through right now.  During my mom's last two weeks, I labored over the same thought.  She had had an unexpected stroke from her blood pressure dropping severely low.  Couldn't talk, couldn't move, often sleeping or vacant, on top of being deaf.  Recently I started reading about what happens when they're...you know... getting close.  The consensus seems to be some loss of faculties.  It's different for everyone.  But it does seem that the body and mind start to shut down during their last days.  How does this translate to your dad in particular, I can't say.  With his appetite having diminished, I wouldn't imagine he's 100% coherent all the time.  What senses or faculties lost or at what time is very specific to the person though.  But the one thing that is almost entirely universal is that mentally they feel more relaxed, more at peace about what's happening.  That surprised me greatly.  It's like we're witnessing one thing while they're experiencing another.  I can't say if your dad is in this state yet, but it's likely he will be.  

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Dgiirl   

My Dad was fully conscious up until the final day.  He was frustrated at the lack of desire to eat, the constant quench of thirst, and a few times he would become depressed and was scared of dying or tired of living and wanted it to end.  But he saw how much pain that caused me so he kept a positive attitude as much as he could.  I don't think he really realized how close he was to death.  Or if he did, he didn't let us know.   When he passed, it was in his sleep peacefully.  No pain.  He just finally stopped breathing.  I'm thankful that he was conscious up until the very end.   Even though he was in so much pain, at least I was able to spend as much time with him as possible and talk about so many things. 

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