Unknowingly I gave my 3 cats to a Cat Killer

[1sadperson]

I needed to give my 4 cats away as I am moving so I put an ad on Craigslist.  A man answered my ad saying he would take 1-2 cats as pets for his family of 3.

So I unknowingly gave him 3 of my cats.  He was going to take 2 and then we mentioned the mom cat (full pregnant) would have to go to the shelter and he

offered to take her.  He said she would be able to come in and out as she pleased and it sounded like such a good set up for her.  She is (was) the mom cat of the

other 2 young male cats.  He was down-to-earth, nice and friendly; he seemed like a good person.  It's a long story but I found out some days later that he didn't take

my cats for pets and that he (if what she said was true) murdered the cats.  She, someone whom knows  him well, says he's been collecting peoples cats from

Craigslist and torturing them to death and even revives them and tortures them more.  He told me many lies to get the cats.  He lives in a small town in the

bordering state, across the river and the police and animal control wouldn't apprehend him and said they couldn't without a 1st person witness.  Animal control

went over to his house and found only 1 cat there and that cat was not any of mine as it was another color.  The man told animal control that he never gets on

Craigslist and that he didn't have any other cats on his premises.  I don't get why animal control didn't inquire to him as to what he did with my cats.  I also fear

my cats might still be alive and being abused by him.  I've been helpless as to what I can do.  I couldn't go over there and look for my cats.  I have been afraid of the man.

I feel like I hurt my own cats.  I feel like I betrayed my cats and all the kittens she was about to give birth to.  To me it's such a nightmare and the unthinkable has

happened.  Just to think he caused my cats pain is hard to bare.  The authorities over in the little town did nothing and so he will continue to hurt cats.  I've wondered allot 

if my cats might still be alive and suffering.  I feel like I am to blame.  Any advice.

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  If you can get any information on him, witnesses, etc. please turn it over to the police.  Animal control is onto him now so hopefully he'll be reticent to continue this.  
That's one reason it's good to CHARGE people $ for animals, not just give them for free, we want them to go to someone who values them.  Even a shelter gives them a better chance because they make them sign adoption papers and pay a fee.

You are not to blame for what this man did, the fact is, sometimes people con us and that's their bad, not ours, we learn as we go through life.  We can't always stop the feelings we have and feeling guilt is tough, it comes with grief.  

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf 

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
 

[pjo59]

Dear 1 sad person,

I would not stop at the local authorities. Try contacting PETA online, and The National Humane Society, online. They may take this matter much more seriously, do a more detailed investigation, and shut him down.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of evil people in this world who live to plot their evil plans. I years ago, gave a cat to a couple with a small child. They all seemed thrilled, and my cat climbed right in the lap of the man. They said her aunt owned a pet shop and knew all about pets. I checked this out (after giving her to them),  and true, her aunt HAD owned a pet shop. They gave me a phoney phone number, so I couldn't check on my cat, and I found out they had two pit bull dogs.

I worried myself sick. I cried and cried. What was done was done. So I prayed God would take care of her and if she was not safe there, that she would run away.

I pray your cats have escaped his evil and he will be exposed and punished. This is not your fault. People are are not always as they appear. Peace and love to you.

[KayC]

pjo,

Thank you for that (PETA), I wanted to suggest it yesterday and couldn't think of their name (I'm getting old), I appreciate your mentioning that.  

Even in the midst of your profound sorrow and pain, you are helping others going through this.  (((hugs)))

[KMB]

1sadperson, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your cats. You were doing the right thing in trying to find them another home. Please do not blame yourself. It is unfortunate that there are so many sicko people in this world using whatever means they can devise to do despicable things. I sincerely hope someone with legal authority is able to investigate and get this sorry excuse of a human charged with cruelty to animals.  (HUGS)

[pjo59]

15 hours ago, KayC said:

pjo,

Thank you for that (PETA), I wanted to suggest it yesterday and couldn't think of their name (I'm getting old), I appreciate your mentioning that.  

Even in the midst of your profound sorrow and pain, you are helping others going through this.  (((hugs)))

 

On 5/14/2017 at 5:51 PM, pjo59 said:

Dear 1 sad person,

I would not stop at the local authorities. Try contacting PETA online, and The National Humane Society, online. They may take this matter much more seriously, do a more detailed investigation, and shut him down.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of evil people in this world who live to plot their evil plans. I years ago, gave a cat to a couple with a small child. They all seemed thrilled, and my cat climbed right in the lap of the man. They said her aunt owned a pet shop and knew all about pets. I checked this out (after giving her to them),  and true, her aunt HAD owned a pet shop. They gave me a phoney phone number, so I couldn't check on my cat, and I found out they had two pit bull dogs.

I worried myself sick. I cried and cried. What was done was done. So I prayed God would take care of her and if she was not safe there, that she would run away.

I pray your cats have escaped his evil and he will be exposed and punished. This is not your fault. People are are not always as they appear. Peace and love to you.

Ahh... Forgot! One more very important agency. ASPCA.  Don't know how I forgot them because I donate to their cause! They will investigate! www. ASPCA.com, www.HSUS.com, www.PETA.com. I would contact all of them, giving them as many details as possible. They'll know what to do. Animal cruelty is now a CRIME, punishable by law (fines, jail, imprisonment). We finally learned from psychos like Jeffery Dahmer that it starts with one branch of the animal family and ends with the human animal family. Not to be taken lightly! God bless. 

[pjo59]

15 hours ago, KayC said:

pjo,

Thank you for that (PETA), I wanted to suggest it yesterday and couldn't think of their name (I'm getting old), I appreciate your mentioning that.  

Even in the midst of your profound sorrow and pain, you are helping others going through this.  (((hugs)))

That's ok because I forgot about ASPCA and I'm a donor! 

Got home tonight and had a meltdown. Three weeks ago tonight... Sadie was gone. I'm ok if I'm out and busy, but as soon as I come in that door, to this empty, Sadie-less home, it's over. I wake up sad. As soon as I realize she's not at the end of my bed. This hurts so d...n bad. I'm sorry to say this, but after Big Guy died, I wish I'd told that girl NO.  Absolutely not. Had I not taken Sadie, I wouldn't be heartbroken again. This is awful. Worse... Went to the doctor, of course he wanted an update. "No response" about my cat. Figures. Sob. Then, tells me to "take a Tylenol" (umm...I have fibromyalgia, along with other chronic pain problems!). Let the doctor become the patient... One day... Sorry. This grief and his attitude put me in a cynical mood. pam

[pjo59]

Found this article helpful. Hope it helps others on here. -pjo

GoodTherapy.org Blog

Ways to Cope with Grief and Loss after Putting a Pet to Sleep
August 20, 2014 By GoodTherapy.org Staff

In the United States, there are almost as many pets as there are adult humans. Collectively, Americans keep 60 million dogs, 70 million cats, and a host of other animals as pets. More than half of all families in the U.S. have at least one pet, and many of those families consider their pets to be members of the family. Although the actual science is hard to quantify, most pet owners believe that their animal companion enriches the quality of their lives, which is why it can be so painful when they die.
Losing a beloved animal companion can be a heart-rending experience. Having to make the decision to euthanize a long- and still-cherished pet is arguably even more difficult. People often struggle with overwhelming feelings of grief, loss, and guilt after choosing to put their pets to sleep. These strong feelings that accompany euthanizing a pet come as the result of their roles in our lives and the strong bonds we are capable of developing with animals. In fact, research by Jaroleman indicates that the bond between people and their pets can have a direct impact on physical and mental health.
While losing a pet can affect us in profound ways and may be quite painful, there are several strategies that might be employed to help people cope successfully after putting a pet to sleep.
Prepare for the Grieving Process.
Our animal companions provide us with love, support, and loyalty, and they often fulfill an important psychological need. When we are faced with the decision to euthanize our pets, it is the end of an important relationship—for some, one of the most important relationships in their lives. Many pet owners will experience some form of the grief, though each person will grieve differently. Though there are many different models for the grieving process, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross  offered these five stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying: 
Find a Therapist for Grief.

• Denial

• Bargaining

• Anger

• Depression

• Acceptance

The stages may not occur in any fixed order, and the duration and intensity of each stage can vary from person to person.
Do not be surprised if the pain you feel after putting your pet to sleep is deeper and sharper than you initially anticipated, so take the time you need to complete the grieving process. Losing companionship is never easy and it may take some time for you to come to terms with the changes in your family and life.

Seek Out Social Support.
When we lose a close relative in death, the world around us tends to help us move through the grieving process. Family and friends may draw closer together for some time, we take time off from work, and people generally offer their support. The loss of a pet, however, is often met with much less sympathy or support. For example, a survey conducted by Quackenbush and Glickman revealed that 45% of pet owners that had lost a pet missed one to three days of work, even though most employers do not consider the loss of a pet to be grounds for bereavement leave.
While our immediate family members and veterinarians are likely able to relate to the pain we feel and offer needed support, some expect us to just “get on with it.” The world around us simply does not understand that our pet was not “just a dog” and that we cannot “just get a new one.”
According to research by Clements, Benasutti, and Carmone, “The loss or death of a pet, and the surrounding traumatic events, can unbalance existing social roles and family relationships, and can result in the disruption of dyadic relationships between the owner and other significant people (spouse, children, and colleagues).”
It is important not to push our friends and family members away, especially during this stressful time, and it may be helpful to open up to them and share our feelings. After all, who better to remind us of the wonderful times we shared together with our now departed pets?
If you don’t feel comfortable talking about how much your pet meant to you with your family and friends, consider making an appointment with a therapist. A therapist can provide healing support and help you understand the grieving process better. With time, he or she can provide tools and coping strategies to help you return to a normal life without your pet.
Anticipate a Change in Routine and Stay Busy with Meaningful Activities.

Pet owners develop habits around their pets due to the dependency pets have on their human companions. Their very lives are at stake. Dedicated pet owners often set aside times for feeding, washing, and walking or exercising pets. For some people, their pets might even serve as living, breathing alarm clocks.
Humans are creatures of habit. We like to know what to expect and are comforted by the fact we exert a measure of control over our actions and responsibilities, but losing a pet dramatically alters that sense of routine and predictability. Quackenbush and Glickman’s survey of pet owners that had recently lost a pet found that 93% reported a disruption of their daily routines and 70% of respondents said their social activities diminished.
Considering this, it is easy to understand the emptiness a person might feel as he or she learns how to deal with life after a pet has been euthanized. Each day is now filled with standardized voids and blocks of time with nothing to do and no animal companion to fill them.
To help soothe your grief, fill these time slots with fun and meaningful activities, especially in the company of supportive companions. Play board games, go to the park, or have a dinner party—anything you might enjoy. You might even consider making a donation to an animal-rights charity in the name of your recently deceased pet. Here are a few other suggestions for activities that may help you heal:
Volunteer your time to a local animal shelter.
To memorialize your pet, consider making a donation of needed items to a local animal shelter. You can ask family and friends to donate, which might present a good opportunity to talk about your deceased pet with them.
Learn about therapeutic approaches to coping with grief, loss, and bereavement. Consider reaching out to a therapist to learn more.
If you are experiencing guilt about euthanizing your pet, write a truthful letter addressed to your deceased animal friend about all the reasons you chose to do it. This may help you work through your guilt by addressing the practical, and perhaps merciful, reasons for your decision.
References:

Clements, P. T., Benasutti, K. M., & Carmone, A. (2003). Support for bereaved owners of pets.  Perspectives in Psychiatric Care, 39(2), 49-54. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/200756802?accountid=1229
Jaroleman, J. (1998). A comparison of the reaction of children and adults: Focusing on pet loss and bereavement. Omega, 37, 133-150.
Quackenbush, J. E., & Glickman, L. (1984). Helping people adjust to the death of a pet. Health and Social Work 9(1), 42-48.
Sable, P. (1995). Pets, attachment, and well-being across the life cycle. Social Work, 40(3), 334-41. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/215272292?accountid=1229
Spencer, S., Decuypere, E., Aerts, S., & De Tavernier, J. (2006). History and ethics of keeping pets: Comparison with farm animals.  Journal of Agricultural and Environmental Ethics, 19(1), 17-25. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10806-005-4379-8
© Copyright 2007 - 2017 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved.
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.



 

 

[pjo59]

18 hours ago, KayC said:

pjo,

Thank you for that (PETA), I wanted to suggest it yesterday and couldn't think of their name (I'm getting old), I appreciate your mentioning that.  

Even in the midst of your profound sorrow and pain, you are helping others going through this.  (((hugs)))

KayC, is that your dear, sweet husband in the photo with you? Did you say he had passed away? :(. And you're Miss Mocha too? And one of your dogs, is that right? Do you have any pets now? Are you alone too? Sorry. Am I being too personal? 

[KayC]

Yes, that was my husband and I on our wedding day, we were so happy!  He passed away nearly 12 years ago.  I've lost a lot of dogs and cats over the years, Miss Mocha was the latest one.  I currently have a dog, Arlie, 9, and Kitty, 21.  Yep, alone except for my animals, pictured below.

[pjo59]

5 hours ago, KayC said:

Yes, that was my husband and I on our wedding day, we were so happy!  He passed away nearly 12 years ago.  I've lost a lot of dogs and cats over the years, Miss Mocha was the latest one.  I currently have a dog, Arlie, 9, and Kitty, 21.  Yep, alone except for my animals, pictured below.

Hi KayC, you and your husband do look very happy and he looks like a very nice man. I'm sorry he's no longer a part of this life. I know you must miss him terribly. 

I think that makes it harder to lose our pets is when we're alone and they are our sole companions. Sadie was mine. I am angry that she had to die right now. I cry and want her back so much. 

Your dog is pretty and looks happy in the snow and kitty is so cute. It looks cold where you live. I hate the cold here and want to move back to a warmer climate.

The top photo is my son's cat who died last year of heart disease and bottom photo of my little Sadie in her favorite cubby perch.

[KayC]

Both are so cute!  Kitty has a place like that, her's is a "mailbox" perch that looks like that but it's up on a post and on the patio where she can look out at the yard (we're on a hill), she loves it!