Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Lost my mom in September.


methetree

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Hi. I am totally new here. I am clearly having some issues, so am seeking input, support, whatever.

I lost my mom in September. She had pulmonary hypertension. That is a horrible disease that literally steals your health. I spent the past 5 years caring for my mother, getting her thru kidney failure, heart surgery, a year of battling every little illness possible and then the PH. For the record, I am also raising my now 7 year old granddaughter during this time as well (she suffers from impulse disorder brought on by a traumatic brain injury). I moved from my hometown to Arizona to care for my mom.  I left all my longtime friends, my job, everything. Taking care of my mom and my granddaughter were everything to me. I worked a full time, corporate job 50+ hours a week, provided for my mom and the little one. Life was hectic, I didn't get a lot of sleep, I was always busy with work, or doctors or whatever.  Mom was my best friend those 5 years, because everyone else was states away. I did keep in contact and everyone was supportive.... until mom died.

Since mom died, not only have I lost her.... we spoke daily, she was my rock. she was my best friend.... (I left home at 14 and ruined a good thing, so was very happy to have my mom back). But I seem to have lost all my friends, too. I can reach out to them, via phone or social media, texting... email even. No one responds.  It is like I died when my mom did.  I have since moved back to my home state, just not the city. I relocated to a quieter place, hoping to figure out what I do next. I have spent so much time taking care of everyone else, I have NO idea what to do. With the loss of any kind of support, here I am.  Asking strangers on the internet for help.

How do I figure out what to do at 46 in a town where I know no one, suffer from mild agoraphobia, and have totally lost my way. I am not currently working, either.

Help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Dear methetree,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved mom. I'm so sorry for the pain and sorrow you are going through. I know its a very difficult time. Because you cared for your mom daily, losing her is a terrible shock. I hear you. It is hard to know what to do when we spend so much time being caregivers. We define ourselves in this role and when it has been taken away with a devastating loss, we feel lost too.

Sorry to hear about your friends. Maybe they just don't know what to say or what to do. Sometimes people are afraid a death is like a spreadable disease and avoid mourners and grievers. I know it hurts.

You've been through so much. I know everyone is so different but I have tried the following things. Grief counselling, grief support groups, reading different books, articles and websites. Tried an art class and journaling. I really like the website What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. Because you were a caregiver the website AgingCare.com might be helpful, lots of like minded folks there. See what resources are in the community or through church. Don't be afraid to keep reaching out and reaching out till you find something that will help.

You are still young. There is hope. And know you'll find yourself again. It will just take time because you are still processing the grief of losing your cherished mom.

Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.