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Missing my old pup, Dante, so much


lettersatlarge

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lettersatlarge

Currently having a hard time with the loss of my little Dante. I only had him from September 2012 to this May 4th, 2017, but he had turned 15 this month. I noticed him having labored breathing two weeks ago, sent him in to get checked, was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and tracheal collapse but was shown that his lungs were clear of fluid and was put on bronchial meds to help, there was no indication of heart failure.

 

Then one week later, he woke up gasping for air, I thought I would lose him on the way to the ER, he couldn't be stabilized even on more than double the amount of oxygen, and he was suffering, suddenly had developed fluid in his lungs, and I had to let him go. It was horrible to watch my poor baby go from one day enjoying a slow walk and barking at birds by the door to gasping for a little bit more life. He wagged his tail despite not being able to stand, moments before I let him go with the help of our ER Vet. I'm devastated, my family is devastated. Everyone loved my sweet baby. My mother, my siblings, my grandmother are all broken hearted.

 

This is second to last walk I had with him. After he walked next to the flowers, I carried him home because he was tired, and he rested his head on my shoulders and closed his eyes to snuggle me. I miss him so much.

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTmCRX3lleG/?taken-by=lettersatlarge

Its just so hard for me because despite the fair prognosis we received at the vet a week before he passed, I had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that I did not have long, I knew somehow it would be this week despite the fact that he appeared okay. I look back and realize he told me he was getting ready to go. Several walks went by where he'd let me carry him the rest of the way and he'd just look around like he was taking it all in, he calmly sat on my lap on the porch and watched the sunset with me, he licked my face several times, something he didn't usually do. He'd lie down next to me at night when it was hardest for him to breathe and I stayed up most nights petting him calmly to let him know I was there. I find myself getting upset at myself for not doing more. As he fell asleep that last time I noticed a dirty spot on his fur and fell apart because I had told myself I would give him a bath the night before, but I was tired and didn't. I'd do anything to give my little jellybean one more warm bath, one more night.

 

A small solace for me is that he somehow managed to sneak a piece of pizza the night before he passed. Despite the fact that he'd had 10 extractions early this February, he went ahead and went for the pizza. I'm glad he got a fun snack outside of his soft food before went, but I wish I'd been able to give him something even better.

 

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I am sorry you lost your Dante, it's never easy to lose them, and oh so hard to learn to do our lives without them here.

I think it's neat he let you know his time was near, and even chose his "last meal"!  

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goblinman17

Sorry for your dog passing away lettersatlarge.  My dog was put down today and I totally feel for your. 

It's great that Dante got to eat the piece of pizza and have one last joy before passing.

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goblinman17,

I am so sorry, it is the hardest thing in the world to have to do.  (((hugs)))

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