Can't forgive my dad

[midnight0thoughts]

3 years ago, my dad killed my mom and himself. I was 16.

I didn't go to my father's funeral, never saw his body and never said goodbye. I have so much guilt for feeling this way. I know it happened because of his mental illness but I can't help hating him for what he did. I want to be able to look at family photos and feel something other than anger. I want to be able to have a boyfriend without dumping him after a week because I am terrified of being hurt by another man. I have worked so hard to make myself seem strong and emotionless but I'm so tired of lying to myself and everyone around me. I'm ready to heal, I just don't know how. 

[reader]

Dear midnight,

I'm so sorry. I know you are going through a lot. There are so many raw emotions. Please consider talking to a therapist, grief counsellor or joining a support group. There are so many good resources in the community and through church. I also find these websites helpful in processing my grief called What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog. Please know we are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Thinking of you.

[Butterfly2017]

Hugs Midnight. It sounds like you are ready to talk through and work out your feelings as that was a very traumatic experience you went through. Have you reached out to any that may be able to help you?

[Fad_daddy]

Dear midnight I can imagine what you're dealing with . You feel like you're dead inside you're showing That you're strong while you feel weak but please believe in your Destiny Know that your  dad had mental illness read about that Know that he's an exception but love him anyway love your parents and be proud of you that you could handle with that you're truly strong we are all with you in case you have any problem I'm glad to hear you.