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Noris

Looking for somebody in Dallas, TX

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Noris   

I know it sounds strange but I simply don't have any real person around. I lost my husband and he was my only friend. Sites, forums, chats, books are great but very soon I will start speaking dog language. I am sure a real person is much better.

I saw meetup groups in Dallas area but they want me to go to some meetings 1st  - I don't feel like driving to downtown and see many people. I am not ready to meet many people. I am very scared of driving over there as I don't know that place. Would be so helpful if I could find somebody here and start phone conversation first, very slowly, without driving anywhere. I am sure people who lost someone can help each other. Maybe 3-4 people would be really good. Later we could meet, go shopping (shopping is really hard now as we always did it together) or simply sit and talk. Just to say hello will also work. I am over 50, no kids, lost my job when it happened but going to start looking very soon.

Thank you.

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AceBasin   

Finding similarity situated friends is often very difficult. There may be some very small recovery groups that can be helpful.  Your doctor, church, or local hospice may have suggestions. Perhaps an email to the administrator of a local meet up group explaining your situation could help.

What you are experiencing is what many experience. 

You may also consider starting a meet up group tailored just to your interests in your area. 

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Noris   

Thank you. I know its not easy but still maybe somebody will see and feel they are looking for the same.

I already created my group at the meetup - waiting for approval.

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AceBasin   

I hope a member in your area sees the message. Loneliness is the hardest thing almost all of us have to deal with. 

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cp9042   

Noris:

19 hours ago, Noris said:

I know it sounds strange but I simply don't have any real person around. I lost my husband and he was my only friend. Sites, forums, chats, books are great but very soon I will start speaking dog language. I am sure a real person is much better.

I saw meetup groups in Dallas area but they want me to go to some meetings 1st  - I don't feel like driving to downtown and see many people. I am not ready to meet many people. I am very scared of driving over there as I don't know that place. Would be so helpful if I could find somebody here and start phone conversation first, very slowly, without driving anywhere. I am sure people who lost someone can help each other. Maybe 3-4 people would be really good. Later we could meet, go shopping (shopping is really hard now as we always did it together) or simply sit and talk. Just to say hello will also work. I am over 50, no kids, lost my job when it happened but going to start looking very soon.

Thank you.

This post could be made by me.  I have had the same exact problem.  I really became totally withdrawn after the passing of my beloved husband, just me and my cat Pearl.  I had scheduled to go to a grief therapy group, but couldn't do it.  I cancelled three times, and just finally said that I would not be going.  That is why I am very glad I found this place.  It helps that there are people here who know what you are feeling, and are very understanding and caring.

My kids live on the west coast so I really don't have anyone near who I can talk to.  I do text to them as well as my niece, who has been very helpful.  I'm not sure if you have any friends, but if not, meet up groups seem helpful.  I have looked into them, but have not actually met up with anyone yet.  They are tailored to your interests, so iit might be something you like.

It may take a while for you to be able to get together with others in your area, but remember, people are here for you.  

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Noris   

I am very sorry for what happened in your life, cp9042. Have you noticed how dates work now? I see your angel date and think - my life was good at that time. But your life turned upside down. And today it happened to somebody else.

I have no family or friends anywhere in the USA. My husband was my only family and my only friend. I have a wonderful daughter who lives very far almost in Japan. She keeps trying to be with me on the phone any time she can but she has her 2 yo baby and husband and I can not explain/tell many things to her.

There is some widows meetup group in Dallas. They meet every other week. Not sure how it works as its hard to concentrate still. I was always so proud for being computer guru but now I cannot get an idea if a text is longer that my screen. I just stop reading. Grief therapy groups are connected to churches but I am not a believer and now I am angrier than ever. Sweet passages of the famous book will never help me.

All people suddenly divided into 2 groups - whose who lost a husband/wife and those who did not. It is very hard to see and meet those who did not. I know it is wrong but its impossible to give myself any orders now. I keep asking myself - am I alive?

I have 2 dogs and a cat and I must get up and take care of them but I cannot play with them, I cannot jump like crazy and roll with them like I did just 2 months ago. I feel guilty again...

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KMB   

Noris,  I am sorry for the loss of your husband. Our lives have changed drastically, turned inside out. We are lost without our soulmate, our constant companion. We miss them so much and somehow we have to carry on alone. I'm sorry you have no family or friends to support you. I'm pretty much alone with a dog and cat also. If it wasn't for my pets, I truly don't know how I would have kept going on.

You are very fresh in your loss. Just take your time and do what you need to for yourself. I just wanted to mention that not all grief support groups are church based. I was attending a support group at a local Hospice. Religion and any other beliefs were not a part of it. The program was tailored for grieving support only. Maybe you might want to do some more researching in your area. It is important for your well being to be with others, if possible,for help and support. Another option is a professional grief counselor/therapist.

Please, keep posting when you need to. This forum is one of the best there is and a good option if you do not have access to any other support.

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HHFaith   

I am also attending a grief support group run by a local VNA/hospice and it is great. The leader is a social worker. The attendees are both women and men. No pressure to talk if you're not ready. I have found it so helpful to be with others who understand and are going through the same feelings. Keep trying until you find something that you're comfortable with. Every little but helps 

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Noris   

Thank you, everyone, for your advice.  I keep looking but cannot find anything yet. Found just one place located at church as always. Sent them an email - will see what they say.

I think a demographic situation in Dallas makes it so hard to find support. The majority of the population is Hispanic and they don't need any grief support because they traditionally have a family support. I have a Hispanic co-worker and she just doesn't understand how I can sit at home alone without any help. Lots of groups are very religious and I see photos of their events and leaders - a different race so I don't think I will fit.

I checked local hospices online - none of them has any information about support groups online - I don't want to call.

A therapist would be helpful probably but I don't have so much money to pay for their service - 150-240 hourly. I have experience of working with therapists - none of them helped actually. I remember my hope and excitement before each session and deep black emptiness after....

I will keep looking. Still hope that somebody from Dallas will come here. I saw somebody from Dallas about a year ago was looking for a friend here. There was a loss of a child group - I do not want even to go there as that pain is way above me.

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KMB   

Noris, You might want to check out area hospitals online. Sometimes you'll find a tab on their website for bereavement services. It is how I found the one I went to at hospice. There are also e-counseling grief counselors online. I don't know what the rates would be though. They can do sessions by phone, email or skype. A local woman I know is receiving her grief therapy by that route. I live in an area where resources are hard to come by.

You have my empathy. This is a time we need support, just to have someone to listen is helpful and gives us a feeling that we are not alone and that someone cares.  (HUGS)

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KMB   

Noris, You could try checking out local funeral home websites also. They always include grief support access.

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KayC   

Not being near that area I didn't reply, but you guys have come up with some great suggestions!  I live in the country, no meetups, nothing, so have started a grief support group here, it's amazing how many people here have need of it even in this small area.

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AceBasin   

KMB'suggestion about checking local hospitals was excellent. I did a one minute search and it appears that both Methodist Dallas Medical Center and Parkland Memorial Hospital have highly regarded programs.

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