Members Butterfly2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2017 ....as still sat here, in the quietness of the house as a new day starts, struggling to take it in that my Mom has really gone. As I opened my kitchen blind I still expected to see her open hers and wave but all I saw was her empty kichen and her car on the shared drive. I know she is gone. I was with her in the weeks she was in hospital and we were holding her hands when they finally told us they couldn't do anymore as they didn't know what was wrong. Yet I still expect to see her, for her to walk through the door. I suppose that is what is cutting me up. Not knowing, waiting still fot the COD. She went in with Pneumoneia and for 20 days she declined rapidly, with an arrogant doctor telling us he just wanted to wait it out and see. Before that, she was seeing her GP who told her it was stress. How can I trust the NHS now? My nightmares are traumatic. Sometimes I see her, sometimes I am looking for her. Mainly they are about losing everyone else around me and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel like I am going crazy but I have to get up, get dressed, stay strong for my Step-dad, kids and brother who are struggling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted May 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2017 Dear Butterfly, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved mum. I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know it hard. Six months since my dad passed, I, too, struggle to believe my father is really gone. Its been a terrible shock to my mind. Please know that everything you are feeling and thinking is natural and normal. You are not going crazy, its what grief does to all of us. Thinking of you. We are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Sending you love and hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Butterfly2017 Posted May 3, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2017 Thanks Reader, helps knowing others feel the same. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mchy64 Posted May 4, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 So sorry for your loss. I'm also at 2 weeks since losing my mother. She was also in the hospital for about 2 weeks. It was s tough 2 weeks. She was declining rapidly but she started bleeding and was on blood thinners. She has convulsions and never woke up. They tried everything but we finally had to take off her life support. That was incredibly hard to be with her as she passed. I feel the same things. She lived with me and everything reminds me of her. Just know that you are not alone in your feelings and I'm out there going through the same emotions. Reading everyone's stories and advice have been helping me. We just have to get through it. I've been trying to keep busy to keep my mind off things. But nights and mornings are the worst. Take care and I hope things get easier some day for the both of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Butterfly2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 Thanks Mchy64 and so sorry for your loss. I am listening to the birds singing waiting for the numbness to kick in so I can get about my daily tasks for my family. It just feels like it consumes you and I constantly have flashbacks to the days in hospital. You are righg tho. It is helping reading others and knowinv I am not alone in feeling like this. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mchy64 Posted May 4, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 Hi Butterfly. I also have flashbacks to the hospital. It's a tough thing to have gone through. I try not to think about it. I have a No Thinking Zone area so I can go to that area and settle my body down so I can sleep at night. It helps. The mornings I think are the worst. Everyone says time will help in relieving the feelings. I hope they are right. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Butterfly2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 Hi thanks for that. I will give that a try. I am so jumpy even a beep on my phone has me jumping out of my skin. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fletch14 Posted May 4, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 @Butterfly2017 - I also have a lot of flashbacks to the hospital. My mom passed away two months ago, and I have flashbacks to her coughing up blood, the look on her face when she realized she wasn't going to make it, how she looked while in a coma... they are all AWFUL. But... it has gotten somewhat better as time has passed here. I still have the flashbacks, but not as frequently. I can only help it continues to get better My therapist also recommended coupling the bad memories with a good memory you have of your mom. LIke when the bad memory comes up, try to think about a good memory... that has also helped to a certain extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Butterfly2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 Thanks fletch14. I will try and do that as they haunt me. I'm so sorry you are going through it too and you Mchy64. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mchy64 Posted May 4, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 Thanks Butterfly2017. Hugs back. Let's hope we get through this. It's been tough. The flashbacks are the worst. Good advice to think happy thoughts from Fletch14. I'll give that a try too. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Butterfly2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 You too. A day at a time x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LouisaSara Posted May 4, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 Hi Butterfly2017 sorry to hear of your loss. I used to have flash backs of my dad in hospital, but as the year has gone it doesn't happen as much now . Now I can think of my dad as he was laughing and joking . The flash backs will get less . sending you hugs LouisaSara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Butterfly2017 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 I hope so LouisaSara. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Fad_daddy Posted May 7, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2017 Dear butterfly I'm so sorry for your loss my dad passed away 2 weeks ago and it was also my psichic funeral daddy was in coma for 5 days i was always sure that he Will wake up I can't describe my feelings I really Know your feelings but be sure that she's waiting you to be in your best life be proud of you we are all with you in case you have any problem I'm glad to hear. Take care Fad_daddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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