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virg78

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I lost my husband on Feb 24 suddenly he was only 37yrs old. We have 3 kids so thats what keeps me going and getting up everyday. It's been so hard everyone says it will get better, but for me I feel like each day just seems harder with out him. He was my best friend we did everything together. I question everyday why, there was no signs of this happening. Its hard cause, I have to be strong for my kids.  when some days I wish I could just stay in bed all day. 

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Hi, 

Sorry to hear about your I can relate to some of the things which you've stated.

I too find it gets harder as time passes, I lost my wife aged, 49 last November 2016.

Five months Tommrow.

It was sudden leaving me wth three teenage kids, finding it hard to cope, harder just to get through each day, I've lost 18kgs in weight, can't eat nor watch TV, read a news paper, listen to music, passion which we shared.

Waking up morning is difficult, passing time in the evening is gut wrenching, wonder out just walking, talking to my wife, every day etc.

Unless people share the same shoes no one really understands our loss except for those sharing thoughts which are similar via these forums.

Take care.

Ravinder

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virg78, We will never have the answers as to the *whys*. Life is what it is and can be so random with the good and bad things we are dealt with .I am sorry for your loss of your husband, (37 is so young), and your children's father. I know how hard and painful it is for all of you to cope with. My own husband passed in our home of sudden cardiac arrest. Nothing could have been done to save him. It is quite a shock to lose someone we love so suddenly.Someone who was our soulmate, best friend, our whole world. I hope you have family and friends who are being supportive and helpful. You have your children to keep you going and I hope you are taking care of yourself as well. Your husband would want you to keep being a mom and go on the best you can.

You have found your way to an excellent forum here. Our common ground is our pain from losing our spouses/partners and we understand, whereas the people who haven't experienced this type of loss don't *get it*. Prayers of peace and comfort to you and your children.

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4 hours ago, virg78 said:

I lost my husband on Feb 24 suddenly he was only 37yrs old. We have 3 kids so thats what keeps me going and getting up everyday. It's been so hard everyone says it will get better, but for me I feel like each day just seems harder with out him. He was my best friend we did everything together. I question everyday why, there was no signs of this happening. Its hard cause, I have to be strong for my kids.  when some days I wish I could just stay in bed all day. 

I'm so sorry for your loss and know too well the pain you are experiencing. Few events in life are as painful as the death of your husband, so  I can certainly understand the way you feel.   It is like God has been very unkind, but even God choose the best.  I'm not the one who will sugar coat a situation or tiptoe around it - this loss will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to face and no doubt will probably get even harder before it gets any better.   You are going to miss his smile, his touch, his voice, his hugs, his everything; after all this man was your companion, the person you shared your life with; the father of your children; the man you planned to grow old with; your best friend, your protector; your world.   There may be times you cry your eyes out (I still have my tsunami moments); that's OK, sometimes allowing yourself to cry is the scariest thing you'll ever do - and the bravest.  It takes a lot of courage to face the facts, stare loss in the face, bare your heart and let it bleed.  It is also the only way to heal your wounds and prepare them for healing.  Sometimes we must experience the low points in life in order to learn lessons we wouldn't have learned any other way.  If the bond between two people is strong, even death cannot do them apart. You have beautiful memories that you made together; cherish them and remember them, not the loss.

While your husband's body is not here physically, his spirit has never left.  His love will always stay beside you, around you; to protect you through this difficult time.   Why things happen to good people, we'll never know, and perhaps we aren't meant to know; but what I do know is no matter what we face in life, God will be there with us.  Only God can turn our worst tragedies into victories.   I am so sorry the children will grow up without their father; but what you must do is never let them forget him; the loved you shared together and the love you both have for them.  Raise them so that their father would be proud.  You are strong - you can do it - you must do it.  We don't know our own strength, until strong is the only option we have.

I hope you continue to post.   God put us on this forum at this time and place for a reason - to uplift one another - certainly - but more than that.  To learn from for one another.  May God ease this painful period for you.  May HE smother you with all his love, care, and strength, in this sad time.

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1 hour ago, KMB said:

virg78, We will never have the answers as to the *whys*. Life is what it is and can be so random with the good and bad things we are dealt with .I am sorry for your loss of your husband, (37 is so young), and your children's father. I know how hard and painful it is for all of you to cope with. My own husband passed in our home of sudden cardiac arrest. Nothing could have been done to save him. It is quite a shock to lose someone we love so suddenly.Someone who was our soulmate, best friend, our whole world. I hope you have family and friends who are being supportive and helpful. You have your children to keep you going and I hope you are taking care of yourself as well. Your husband would want you to keep being a mom and go on the best you can.

You have found your way to an excellent forum here. Our common ground is our pain from losing our spouses/partners and we understand, whereas the people who haven't experienced this type of loss don't *get it*. Prayers of peace and comfort to you and your children.

My husband also passed of heart issues in our bedroom. He went up to bed and found him on the floor and it was too late.  He had not complained about a thing that night or before that. I have not been able to sleep in that room since then. I have a lot of family support but no one that really understands my grief. I'm really glad to have found this form.

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52 minutes ago, Francine said:

I'm so sorry for your loss and know too well the pain you are experiencing. Few events in life are as painful as the death of your husband, so  I can certainly understand the way you feel.   It is like God has been very unkind, but even God choose the best.  I'm not the one who will sugar coat a situation or tiptoe around it - this loss will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to face and no doubt will probably get even harder before it gets any better.   You are going to miss his smile, his touch, his voice, his hugs, his everything; after all this man was your companion, the person you shared your life with; the father of your children; the man you planned to grow old with; your best friend, your protector; your world.   There may be times you cry your eyes out (I still have my tsunami moments); that's OK, sometimes allowing yourself to cry is the scariest thing you'll ever do - and the bravest.  It takes a lot of courage to face the facts, stare loss in the face, bare your heart and let it bleed.  It is also the only way to heal your wounds and prepare them for healing.  Sometimes we must experience the low points in life in order to learn lessons we wouldn't have learned any other way.  If the bond between two people is strong, even death cannot do them apart. You have beautiful memories that you made together; cherish them and remember them, not the loss.

While your husband's body is not here physically, his spirit has never left.  His love will always stay beside you, around you; to protect you through this difficult time.   Why things happen to good people, we'll never know, and perhaps we aren't meant to know; but what I do know is no matter what we face in life, God will be there with us.  Only God can turn our worst tragedies into victories.   I am so sorry the children will grow up without their father; but what you must do is never let them forget him; the loved you shared together and the love you both have for them.  Raise them so that their father would be proud.  You are strong - you can do it - you must do it.  We don't know our own strength, until strong is the only option we have.

I hope you continue to post.   God put us on this forum at this time and place for a reason - to uplift one another - certainly - but more than that.  To learn from for one another.  May God ease this painful period for you.  May HE smother you with all his love, care, and strength, in this sad time.

I do feel him with me and I do cry alot. Just when I feel I'm doing OK the pain starts right back. Thank you for the kind words.

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Virg78.  Francine always gives such thoughtful and compassionate advice, there is nothing I could add.  My Husband too passed away from heart issues in our home and I have been staying with family as I have been too distressed to go home.  I'm sorry to read of your loss, it's so recent.  I send you thoughts of empathy and support.

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Virg78,

I truly am sorry.  My kids were grown but my husband died of a heart attack right after he turned 51, it was a shock, totally unexpected.  I'm sorry one more person has to go through this.  Life is never the same but I have learned so much since embarking on this journey.  Keep coming here, it really helps.

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