Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Grief hit me so hard today....


Sharyn01

Recommended Posts

  • Members

The things that trigger that I cant do this anymore feeling....today I was told that Mike's 46 year old chain saw could no longer be fixed and it about tore my heart out. Yea, I know its old, yea I know its lived out its life span, yea I know it was stupid as hell to cry all the way home after picking it up, BUT its something of HIS, that now has to be replaced because it doesnt work. I put it in the garage when I got home and sit in the yard and cried like a freaking baby. When this end?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
15 minutes ago, Sharyn01 said:

The things that trigger that I cant do this anymore feeling....today I was told that Mike's 46 year old chain saw could no longer be fixed and it about tore my heart out. Yea, I know its old, yea I know its lived out its life span, yea I know it was stupid as hell to cry all the way home after picking it up, BUT its something of HIS, that now has to be replaced because it doesnt work. I put it in the garage when I got home and sit in the yard and cried like a freaking baby. When this end?

I know the feeling.  Today, I went to the doctor for a routine checkup and my tsunami came down like a vengeance - and wouldn't let up.   My Charles and I did everything together even going to the doctor - we had the same appointment date, and would be put in the same room - the doctor would check me over first and then - Charles.   The doctor was happy to report that my lab work came back great and gave me a clean bill of health - but it just didn't matter.  I guess I should have been happy but *happy* is no longer a word in my vocabulary.   I mentioned that I don't look forward to anything anymore; people just don't matter and I merely exist.   Of course he tried to console me and for what it's worth, didn't accomplish it - I told him I appreciated his effort.   He offered me seeing a Psychiatrist, or perhaps he could prescribe some medication but I declined.  I don't think either is what I need now.  The only thing that I need is having my Charles back, but seeing that will never be, I'll hold him in my heart until that day comes when we are together again, only this time, we will never part.   Won't that be amazing!  Sorry for the gloom and doom; but that's where I am now. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
1 minute ago, Francine said:

I know the feeling.  Today, I went to the doctor for a routine checkup and my tsunami came down like a vengeance - and wouldn't let up.   My Charles and I did everything together even going to the doctor - we had the same appointment date, and would be put in the same room - the doctor would check me over first and then - Charles.   The doctor was happy to report that my lab work came back great and gave me a clean bill of health - but it just didn't matter.  I guess I should have been happy but *happy* is no longer a word in my vocabulary.   I mentioned that I don't look forward to anything anymore; people just don't matter and I merely exist.   Of course he tried to console me and for what it's worth, didn't accomplish it - I told him I appreciated his effort.   He offered me seeing a Psychiatrist, or perhaps he could prescribe some medication but I declined.  I don't think either is what I need now.  The only thing that I need is having my Charles back, but seeing that will never be, I'll hold him in my heart until that day comes when we are together again, only this time, we will never part.   Won't that be amazing!  Sorry for the gloom and doom; but that's where I am now. :(

Im so sorry you are feeling that way. It seems that I am right there with ya today. I was at the dr last week and she told me, I really need to go see a grief counselor. So I have an appt set up with one on Tuesdady. I think the shock is starting to go away and reality is hitting me in the face hard. I just cant take much more this week. Its been one thing after another and Im at my wits end. He used to take care of the stuff that I have to deal with now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

I see a individual grief counselor on a weekly basis and also attend a group session that meets monthly.  In my individual session, I work with an experienced psychotherapist who helps me challenge and modify my thoughts that cause me to feel alone, lost and overwhelmed.  He also helps me to decrease my stress, become more comfortable making decisions, reduce my sadness, irritability and anger and increase my self-confidence.

My group session is beneficial as well - I feel I'm not alone in this horrible journey and it amazes me to know people are willing to share their pain and their stories.   I've learned that people need to tell their stories and they need someone to listen. It is an interactive experience between the people whose lost the important person in their lies.   For me, it is the opening up to an empathic group of caring individuals that the healing takes place. Listening is powerful; it is a gift we can offer to one another in distress.

Again, for me, they are both what I need and I would highly recommend one or the other or both.     

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I have an appt with a grief counelor (first one) on Tues. I am hoping he can offer me some idea on how to cope with my craziness.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sharyn01, I'm sorry you are having a rough day. And it's not stupid to cry over something so little such as a chainsaw. Material things and memories are all we have left of our spouse and most of the time our minds are so consumed we can't focus on memories, so when something falls apart it triggers the day we lost them. Or at least that's the way I feel. I hope you find some comfort when seeing your grief counselor, I believe it will help to have someone to talk to and not have an opinion or have something harsh to say. I pray he/she gives you some techniques. Many prayers being sent your way. 

Mrsviden

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sharyn01, Good luck with your counselor.  If it's not a match, just move on and find one that you feel comfortable with.  I am seeing one and she is very helpful.  She does help process all of the feelings - especially the fears, the anxiety, the sadness.  And like Francine, I also find my grief group to be beneficial.  Do whatever you can that you feel comfortable with.  It all helps, and we need all the help we can get!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Sharyn,

Good luck with your counseling session.  I'm sorry about the chainsaw, it's weird how these "things" can feel like losing them again, we've all experienced that.

Francine,

I'm sorry for how you're feeling.  doing things alone that we used to do together is so hard, it really pushes us beyond our comfort and serves as a trigger to boot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sharyn, Francine, Mrsviden, HHFaith, KayC, and everyone else I didn't mention--*-A virtual group hug*!! We are all on the same journey, just separate paths. We are all still here and we will survive. I know it doesn't always feel like it. The triggers, the crying, the aloneness, anxiety, all of it. We will do this together and take it day by day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

KMB

Ditto that!   Let's make a pact, when we all get to heaven with our husbands, let have a *real* hug!! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Francine, Ditto on the future Heaven group hug! We can have a big, reunion picnic on Heaven's green grass, warm sunshine and perfect blue sky.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
7 hours ago, KMB said:

Sharyn, Francine, Mrsviden, HHFaith, KayC, and everyone else I didn't mention--*-A virtual group hug*!! We are all on the same journey, just separate paths. We are all still here and we will survive. I know it doesn't always feel like it. The triggers, the crying, the aloneness, anxiety, all of it. We will do this together and take it day by day.

Hugs to you, Sharyn, Francine, HHFaith, and KayC! I am making the pact too to hug all of you once I am welcomed with open arms from my husband. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

KayC, I feel we would be up the creek without a paddle if it wasn't for you. It has been your long journey, your wisdom and encouragement that had me joining this forum and staying here. Maybe staying on this forum and trying to make myself helpful to others is part of the plan that God has for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Great! - Then It's official - we'll all meet on heaven's shore :D -  in the meantime, we'll continue to do God's will - encourage, uplift and support one another as well as anyone one else on this website.   I can honestly say, I truly believe God sends *special angels* into our lives for a reason.   Ladies, take your bow!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Yes, thank you all for being here. What a wonderful reunion that will be!  Maybe our guys have already met up and are starting on the plans for this party. You never know!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

The love shared on this forum is simply beautiful. What started out as an effort to console one of our own over such a sad and difficult time has turned into a heavenly party complete with husbands pressed into planning duty. I love it. You ladies are simply brilliant and beautiful. 

Love you all,

Andy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

This is part of my "purpose"...I feel everything we go through is not a waste.  This morning I read this article and I couldn't agree with it more, although I know it's impossible to see in the beginning of our grief journey...
https://grievewellblog.wordpress.com/2017/04/09/93/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.