Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Sign in to follow this  
milly

Fiancés given up on me

Recommended Posts

So my brother suddenly passed away nearly 5 years ago aged 27 and I feel like I've been through hell and back. At times I feel like I can cope and that I can just bottle things up and try and get on with things..and then these the dark times that I really struggle and feel like I can't cope. So at the weekend I had one of these dark times. My fiancé and I were supposed to get married next year but after 11 years of being together he has suddenly given up on me. He hasn't spoke to me in 3 days, even though we live together and won't sit in the same room as me. He tells me he doesn't know what he wants anymore and that he's hit a brick wall. I feel like he's punishing me because I'm grieving. I feel as if he's pushing me away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

milly, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. The grieving process is a long, tough journey. Has your fiance been supportive and patient with your loss? Have you been seeking coping help from a professional grief counselor? Do you have other family members that are supportive? I don't feel that your fiance is not punishing you. Maybe he feels a sense of neglect, hopelessness due to your grieving being front and center. My intent is not in telling you how to grieve but 5 years is a long time to not being able to put your brother's passing into a healthier perspective. I feel your brother is at peace and is sending you love and strength in continuing the life you still have in front of you. He would want to see you happy and obviously your fiance has loved you for a long time. Maybe, unconsciously, you are pushing him away, out of a subconscious fear that he might pass away also? I know that sounds rude and callous but maybe a grief counselor can help you look at things from an unbiased point of view. I wish you well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×