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Need Advice loss of daughter


amyanne03

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Hello, I am new to this group. I have tried a support group in person, but could not handle it, it hurt to bad. It has been a little over four years since I lost my daughter at the age of 24. I have had custody of her three girls for the past 2 years. The pain is getting harder, and I find my daily struggles getting harder emotionally. I go through out the day trying to be happy but my heart is broke. I feel like I am falling into a depression again. I know I can't because I have to be strong for my granddaughters, but I am not finding a way out of it.

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Tommy's mum

amyanne03 i just responded to you on your other post asking you to join us on Loss of an Adult child where there are many parents like us who are grieving our children. It is the most active forum just go to the last page and post there ok? Taking on three grandchildren full time is a massive responsibility and you are wonderful to do what you know your daughter would have wanted. She would want her Mum to be there for her precious family and will be looking down at you with pride and happiness. I too could not cope with people face to face and came to this forum quite far along in my grief journey and found it to be full of kindness and wisdom from people who have been where I was and where you are and who understand. It takes a long time for the shock and disbelief to fade and then the reality sets in and it is so painful. This is called delayed reaction or abnormal grief reaction which is very very common amongst us because we all lost our children very suddenly. Now you are coping with three other people who depend on you for everything and you need to make sure you help yourself first. if you are breaking then the family will struggle. have you tried one on one counselling? I had a wonderful bereavement counsellor along with a psychiatrist who gave me my life back after 18 months of hell and failing to cope. it was hard work and very emotional and i felt worse initially but then it became clearer and I slowly climbed out of the abyss and fought my agoraphobia and my demons. You are not alone with this let us help to support you ok?

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Amy,

I'm new to this site also.  Its been 6 months since I loss my son.  I find comfort at times knowing that I'm not alone.  I will be attending a retreat this year for parents who have lost a child.  My sweet angel was my only child and he was just 13.  I'm praying for us all who have lost our precious angels.

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Hello Tommy's Mum, Thank you for your response and kind words. It does take a long time for the shock and disbelief to fade. Its been 4 years and it is worse today than it was 4 years ago... Maybe its like you said about "reality"  maybe that's what is just now hitting me. I just feel so lost in life right now. I thought I was doing good but now I feel like I am where I started. Yes I do understand that "if I am breaking, than so is the family" that is why I have looked and researched to find help, unfortunately I work at a dead end job with no insurance for myself so my options are limited as far as going to see a counselor. I just want to thank you for responding back to me today. Thank you.

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Hello Jojo's Mom, Where is the retreat that you are attending ?

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Tommy's mum

Amyanne03 there will always be a response to you. You are not on your own

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Hello Amy,

The retreat is in Hot Springs, AR. Its a weekend retreat and its free.  I'm looking forward to attending this retreat with my husband.

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