Members Anthony Posted April 20, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 9 month old very playful cat. Lost him after he ran into a nearby busy road. Vet called a day after our search to say he died straight away after being hit. We were so mindful to make access to that road so difficult and were encouraged by neighbours cats successfully staying away all their lives but on Monday I missed the blatant signs of him being interested in the road and he was being clingy because he was a bit unwell. He went out late evening and scaled a very big fence to get over there. I am sure he had no idea what the cars were and just wanted to play and explore. We pampered him and gave too much free reign and I can't let it go. How long did it take people to get over a tragedy like this? I so so hope I can accept it in less than a few weeks. It is very difficult because we loved him so much, enjoyed him every day all over the house, and he relied on us to keep him safe. We wont get another until a few years because we are set to start a family very soon but this has scarred our home. My fiencee is distraught and it is hurting me even more knowing she will struggle even more than me because she is so warm hearted but suffers from depression. Do I get another to help us mend this void and pain, and then keep it in for a year? Do I wait because a baby arrival in a year would be too much worry for us alltogeather and cause a cat to put completely out of priority? So tough. I feel for all of you who have felt this pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 20, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am so sorry for your tragedy and loss. I have lost many pets over my lifetime (I'm 64) and I know well the pain of loss. Vets recommend you keep cats indoors because they're so hard to contain. A neighbor has a cat rescue and she put up a fence that has a border at the top facing inward with barbed wire on it so they can't climb over and out of it. If you get a cat as a small kitten they can accustom to indoor life. One that has already had free reign would not likely adjust to the confinement but would continually be begging to go out, and cats are persistent! It might help to get another one...one doesn't replace another, they're all very unique, but you shouldn't have to wait for years to have another either. I have always had at least a cat and a dog, even when I had kids. Babies can develop quite a love and fascination for the family pet and it can be good for them to learn how to be gentle and that we care for our animals. My daughter-in-law is allergic so can't have cats but they have dogs and my granddaughter loves her doggies! She is 23 months old but has loved her doggies since she was old enough to notice them at a few months of age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Furbaby Angels Posted May 1, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 1, 2017 I'm so sorry for your loss and I pray you and your fiancée are doing better. It takes time to heal and everyone is different so there's no set time. Let go of the guilt and concentrate on all the love and warmth you provided for her when she was with you. You'll know when it's time for another pet. You had a special assignment for a very special angel so rest in knowing you loved her well. ♥️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pjo59 Posted May 6, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 On 4/20/2017 at 7:13 AM, Anthony said: 9 month old very playful cat. Lost him after he ran into a nearby busy road. Vet called a day after our search to say he died straight away after being hit. We were so mindful to make access to that road so difficult and were encouraged by neighbours cats successfully staying away all their lives but on Monday I missed the blatant signs of him being interested in the road and he was being clingy because he was a bit unwell. He went out late evening and scaled a very big fence to get over there. I am sure he had no idea what the cars were and just wanted to play and explore. We pampered him and gave too much free reign and I can't let it go. How long did it take people to get over a tragedy like this? I so so hope I can accept it in less than a few weeks. It is very difficult because we loved him so much, enjoyed him every day all over the house, and he relied on us to keep him safe. We wont get another until a few years because we are set to start a family very soon but this has scarred our home. My fiencee is distraught and it is hurting me even more knowing she will struggle even more than me because she is so warm hearted but suffers from depression. Do I get another to help us mend this void and pain, and then keep it in for a year? Do I wait because a baby arrival in a year would be too much worry for us alltogeather and cause a cat to put completely out of priority? So tough. I feel for all of you who have felt this pain. I am very sorry to hear about this tragedy. You did everything to provide security for your pet. If an animal is determined to explore something, it will find a way. It's not your fault. It was just an unfortunate set of circumstances. At least your cat had lots of love and security it might not have had, had you not taken him in. He had a good life with you. From what you said, he did not suffer, and that's a very good thing. Yes, your heart will heal. Mine is beginning to heal after the loss of my cat. Sharing on this board really helps. As far as adopting another pet, that's a personal decision. For some people, it fills the void, and for others, they don't want to go through the loss again. That's where I am. A baby is a big responsibility, I will tell you that. It will rely on you for everything, of course. You will be tired for awhile. Having a cat and a baby isn't impossible, but if you choose that route, just be sure to be careful while changing the litter box, and don't allow the kitty in the crib. Blessings and peace to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tommysmama Posted May 8, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 8, 2017 I lost my sweet baby boy Tommy (a cat as well) this Saturday and I can't tell you how badly my heart is broken. To the point where I'm not even eating, sleeping, or showering. Pure depression. He was the little love of my life for the last 5 years. Despite my tears, and resistance to get another cat, last night my fiance put a kitten in my arms even though I said I wasn't ever planning on "replacing" Tommy. It hurt so bad and I almost didn't want to disrespect him by getting a "replacement" so soon after. It was literally 24 hours after. But as soon as the kitten was in my arms, I felt this warmth in my heart that I forgot existed. I'm still very much crying around the clock at the loss of Tommy, but I see this sweet little innocent kitten who needed a home and my fiance knew I could provide that for him. He also wanted to get the kitten to help our other cat Luna who was absolutely in love with Tommy and best buds who did everything together. I think this little male kitten is filling warmth in her heart as well. I just watch her admiring the kitten and trying to play with him (even though he's too young to play back), but I could tell my fiance made the right choice. Even though my soul cries for the love of my sweet little baby boy Tommy, at least this new kitten is bringing joy to her in ways we can't. Truly sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 9, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted May 9, 2017 tommysmama, The new kitten will create it's own spot in your heart, but no one will "replace" Tommy, don't worry about that, it could never happen. I hope Luna and the kitty continue getting along great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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