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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
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Kraquin

I Don't Miss Them

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This is not a troll thread and I know the primary reason for this site is for grieving but people do have different experiences. My dad was 83, he's been gone for a month and I don't miss him. I'm more in disbelief than anything. Disbelief that he was a jerk until the end.

My dad died of COPD. That was disgusting. The whole palliative care thing is disturbing. It's made me a firm supporter of Dr. assisted suicide. As I said, I don't miss my dad but I felt sorry for him as a person to have to lay there and slowly drown in his own fluids. Periodically he would have moments of clarity despite being jacked up on Ativan and morphine, that was the worst, the terminal agitation and repeating over and over, "Help me" until the meds kicked in again.

My takeaway from the whole experience is that his death confirmed my contempt for him and that it's okay to not like your parents.

 

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Wow, I am very sorry for the loss of your father. You do sound very angry about the entire experience. I guess I am one of those people who like and love my parents. While they certainly aren't and weren't perfect, I forgave their mistakes as I matured. I was devastated and relieved when my father died. Devastated because I miss him, yet relieved that his horrific suffering was over. 

You may want to consider some professional advice for how you feel about your parents. Sounds like you hold a lot of pain, which probably isn't good for you in the long run. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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Thanks for your response.

I have read other peoples experiences with losing a parent and I just cannot relate.

I saw a counselor some years ago. In a way it made the situation worse because the reflections made me think of a lot of other things I had forgotten.

The counselors advice was to write a letter to my dad but not mail it. That didn't do anything but waste some paper and my time.

You're right, it's not good to keep this. I just hope over time the anger fades.

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