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Fallenangel123

Help

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A relative who took care of me everyday for 16 years committed suicide . he asked for help to change his situation so many times and clearly wanted to get better but I felt people would only make it worse. His physical and mental health was declining.  I used to visit them once a week the last few months and call everyday for two months. I feel guilty cause when I used to try and go maybe one or two more times a month my parents would call him and get angry at him. Once he spent three days worried because I told him not to tell my dad I was visiting. I sent him an sms twice telling him I'm not sure if I was visiting due to studies and I feel the uncertainty made it worse. Once my parents threatened that they would not invite them to our house again cause I wanted to visit them earlier so I went back home and they never invited them again anyway. He would cry sometimes cause he missed us. I feel so much anger at my parents for treating him like they did and for not respecting my wishes. They would criticise him for feeling the way he felt. On the day he died my mum threatened to call him and blame him for my drop in exam grades. She tried twice and couldn't get through. He was already worried about my exams. The only times my mum would call was to complain to him and I'm scared he noticed why she was calling. He didn't answer but I'm scared he did it cause of her. I'm angry at how they treated him and feel guilty that my attempts in helping him could have made things worse. She threatened to blame him if I failed. I live in the same house and every time I look at my parents I flood with anger and don't know what to do about it. I need help!!!!!!! 

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I am so very sorry you are caught in this turmoil in the middle of your grief. Why did your parents not want him around?

Are there counselors at your school? Can you talk to one? Are there friends you can talk to? 

Can you tell your parents you are angry over all this and confused? 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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