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Happy Easter?


KayC

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This will be my 12th without him.  I remember after he died (on Father's Day), getting through the 4th of July when his closet rod broke and I had to box up his clothes.  Then came Labor Day, the day that was so big in my family, we always went camping, our last hurrah before the kids would go back to school...this Labor Day a deer hit my car and no one called to make sure I made it home okay. :(  Then came my birthday, I cried myself to sleep because no one remembered it or said happy birthday and George had always made such a big deal of it.  Again, his absence was palpable.  Then Thanksgiving, with his empty chair and me fleeing to the kitchen in tears, the kids not knowing how to respond, my daughter coming in to put her arms around me.  Then Christmas, I'd wanted to skip it but my son was home on leave from the Air Force and they wanted to go get a tree, so I let them, and they helped put it up and decorate.  It was harder to get through than they can imagine.  New Year's, leaving behind the last year I'd ever be with him in.  Valentine's, going to our church banquet without him, enduring all the Sweetheart theme alone, it was really really tough.  We'd been so romantic, so in love, how do you do Valentine's without your Valentine?  By the time it rolled around to Easter, I major rebelled!  NO EASTER!  My kids understood.  I stayed home from church and ignored the day.  No special dinner.  Nothing Eastery.  The following Sunday I had my kids up for a big dinner but we made no mention of Easter.  They understood.

The truth is, everything changes for us with their death and the holidays are hard hitting.  I want to wish you well on your Easter but I understand if it's just plain old a really tough day.

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KayC, Wishing you a peaceful day as well. Every day is spent with a heavy heart but holidays even more so. I'm just going to put some effort into some cleaning/organizing today. Maybe spend time later on the deck *talking* to my husband. He sure loved our little deck on nice days.

 

Everyone--I wish you all a peaceful day. No matter your beliefs, spend a short time to reflect, to send out loving thoughts to those you love here and most of all to those who are no longer here.

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Thoughts to both of you.  KayC, the changing of the year sure is a hard one. Have a peaceful day.

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Thinking of everyone on this forum.  Yup, today is just a plain old really tough day, as KayC so eloquently said!

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Well said KayC, I'm fearing the upcoming holidays and birthdays. Today was poignant, thinking back in how we loved doing the Easter egg hunts, family dinners, nice but painful to remember. Today was spent washing cars and changing oil. I avoided any direct reference to Easter itself. Another loss. 

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KayC

So sorry - I know how days without our loved one could be so difficult.  I actually spent the day with my family over my sister with her family.  It was not as bad as I anticipated; of course I shed some tears when memories took me back to what Charles and I would have done, but overall, a peaceful day.

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This is the first Easter without my husband.  I just stayed at home alone, as my family do not live close.  It was difficult, but I made it through.

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I have had a mouse or mice chewing on my car this week...ate through the upholstery and plastic of my console and then started on my back seat.  I've tried everything to get rid of him/her/them to no avail.  I honestly saw myself going bananas and shooting up the car in desperation like some crazy comedy on t.v.  I'd gone for the Easter breakfast and Sunday School but I became almost deranged with the idea of some mouse out there chewing up my car while I sit unknowing in church, so I left before the Easter service and drove 50 miles to Walmart so I could arm myself with more anti-mouse products.  I set up the traps and bait and headed to my son's in-laws where I was to spend Easter.  At least that was the plan.

Then I got a call from my daughter...her husband left her and she is heartbroken, her future uncertain (this is the same daughter that recently lost a baby).  So Easter was pretty much ruined.  Came home to a sleepless night...but lo and behold I got a mouse!  Now to see if there are any more...

If only my daughter's problems could be solved by a trip to WalMart.

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Sorry to hear about your daughter's situation, but she'll get through this and be OK.  KayC, you are an angel for us here on this website, and I know you'll be that angel for your daughter as well.   She's gonna need you more than ever. 

It's unfortunate your Easter was ruined, but glad you caught that annoying little creature.  Sending prayers your way for your daughter; when all the dusk clears, she'll be stronger.

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Oh, KayC, so sorry about your daughter. As parents, we want our children to have happy, fulfilling lives, no matter how old they are. What a blow for your daughter to be going through another loss. Maybe things will change and they will get back together.

I agree with you. If only a trip to Walmart could solve all of our problems--------

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Melissa said he's been drinking, I asked if he's alcoholic, she said probably.  She didn't drink with him and she's back in church for the first time since she was 18, so I'm glad for that and for her praying.  I encouraged her to talk to her pastor and also to go to marriagebuilders.com and post her story, they'll be able to walk her through this step by step, they know the handwriting on the wall and what everything means. I love my son-in-law but I hate what he's doing and how he's hurting her.  I never would have dreamed this would happen, he adored her!  How he can say he's not feeling it now, I think it's the addiction searing his conscience and blocking his love and care.  I know her heartbreak and it's hard for a mother to stand by and watch.  Please do pray for Melissa and Don, we appreciate all the prayers.

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KayC, I'll be adding Melissa and Don in my prayers. It is the only support we can do. Did the drinking start with the loss of the baby? I'm glad she went back to church and finding her faith again. God will show her the way to handle this crisis.  Prayers for you all.

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He switched jobs a couple of years ago and his employer started offering a free drink to the employees after they got off work (great) and that started it.  Then he started hitting the bars with his friends.  He has alcoholism and addiction in his family genes.  He should have known better than to take the first drink but sometimes people think it won't happen to them.  This is the sweetest guy in the world and it has changed him.  I think it explains part of why my daughter has been so distant, I think she was trying to protect us from knowing, hoping against hope that all would work out.  I'm amazed she'd consider bringing a child into the equation but I guess she was in denial about their situation...clear up until she could deny it no longer.  I've been there, I understand.

I appreciate your prayers, KMB, that means so much to me.  I didn't sleep last night but I did my share of praying for them.

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KayC

I'm lifting Melissa up in prayer and have added her name to my Totally Active Senior prayer group.  You know what they say, "When the Prayers go up, the blessing comes down".  When we leave everything in God's hand, eventually, we will see God's hand in everything.  Sending hugs and prayers your way.

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Oh thank you so much, Francine, you have no idea how much that means to me, and to her.  I asked her permission to add her to my church' prayer chain and she said, "Oh will you please!!" so I know she appreciates all the prayer she can get.  

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