completelylost

One final goodbye.

2 posts in this topic

I feel dumb. The grief of my Nanna passing away has finally caught up to me. I have lost the woman who raised me and who was my entire world forever. I feel the constant weight of an elephant sat on my chest and sharp pains in my stomach whenever I think of her but yet I have so much I long to tell her and get off my chest. 

My Nanna passed away on the 2nd of April. A post mortem was then ordered and performed. She is now with the funeral director and will be able to be visited on 19 April in the chapel of rest. This will be 17 days after her death. Has anyone ever visited somebody in the chapel of rest after 2 weeks? Can you tell me if the experience made you feel any better? Did the person you visited look like the person they were when they were alive? Having spent the first 12 hrs with my Nanna after death, i see the image of her final expression every time i think of her and worry that if she appears to have deteriorated further that I will end up more hurt by the experience than comforted. At the same time, I have wrote her a letter of everything I wish to tell her for the last time that I would love to read to her to get off my chest and then leave in her coffin. I do not think that I will have the ability to read this to her at her funeral.  I long to kiss her one final time and hopefully see her looking peaceful. 

I am just so confused. I do not want to hurt anymore but I also do not want to have regrets. 

Any experiences shared would be great.

Thank you 

 

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Dear completelylost,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your grandmother.

I hear you. Its very tough. You are so right. That final image of our loved ones is very hard. We had a viewing for my father at the funeral home. I do not regret seeing him, but it did not feel real to me. How could that be my dad? Why isn't he at home watching TV? It was very strange. I did not comfort me to see him with all the make up put on his face, but I was glad to be there to support my family.

Take care my friend. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

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