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I just miss him...


Mrsviden

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Mrsviden, We all feel we got robbed and cheated of the love and life we lost. All of us on this forum and the thousands around the world who are not on forums. I figure 3/4 of the world's population is grieving the loss of someone. None of it makes sense or seems fair. It is just the way life is. Heaven is said to be just like earth here. Filled with peace, love and harmony, eternal life. I, myself, cannot wait until it is my turn and I can be with my husband forever. Just have to live out the rest of my days to the best of my ability until it is my turn.

Congratulations on passing your final. 95% is great! You are moving forward and that is a sign that you will survive. Your husband knows your accomplishments. They see us and hear us. He is proud of you and will always love you and be proud.

 

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On 4/15/2017 at 0:55 PM, AceBasin said:

Ordinarily, I would not post religious material to this site, but after reading your posts I felt compelled to say the following prayer for each of you.

 “Most loving God, you know the pain and sorrow of death; mercifully hear our prayer for those who mourn the death of their beloved. The nights are lonely and the days are too long. Comfort them and bring an end to the days of tears. Bless them and bring an end to their days of sorrow. Renew them with the joy of life and bring to an end their days of mourning. Let the bond of love which you have for your people be the foundation of their hope that love never ends and that precious moments with our beloved are forever held dear in our hearts. Amen.”
 

 

Wow. That is an awesome prayer. Thanks so much, I've said it a few times - your words are so well put. 

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Mrsviden,

Tell him anyway, he may hear you.  95% is to be proud of!

I don't know any answers to the "why", I gave up asking a long time ago.

AceBasin,

Panda is right, that is a beautiful prayer, thank you!

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I am glad you appreciated the prayer and found it meaningful. It is attributed to a collection published by the Rev. Vienna Cobb Anderson, and the title of the prayer is "Prayer for Widows."

 
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I feel like this isn't even real, I expect to see him again soon. I think that's why I'm able to go to school, because I think oh well I'm going to see him next week just hold out a little longer. How is this my life? I think I've asked before but is it normal to feel like you forgot what he looks like or what he sounds like, is it normal to feel nothing at all, and you just go with the motions that life call? This lady I know gets pennies from her husband almost daily, I don't, does that mean my husband doesn't care about me? These questions are on repeat in my mind, and driving myself insane. I miss my husband, I miss our life together..

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On 4/14/2017 at 11:33 AM, KayC said:

Every time we go out of our comfort zone, we've come a little further.

Mrsviden

Listen to KayC.  

I'v been trying really hard to push the boundaries of my comfort zone hear lately(you can read bout it in my postings). Tonight I plan on attending a (meet up.org function) "Trivia Night" for singles in the local area. I don't have a very large group of friends and hate being alone now. At times I think why can't I just have it all back again. So much is missing. Sorry for the sad moment.

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Mrsviden, Everything you are thinking and feeling is normal. We all think that we are going to forget what they look like, the sound of their voice, their laughter. We don't forget. Our minds plays a lot of tricks with our memory, thought processing. The mind is in chaos while it is in recovery. It does get easier. This grieving process does have a way of evolving us slowly back from the trauma of our loss. It doesn't happen overnight. It can take many months, even years. And it is normal to feel nothing at all for awhile, the numbness. It is just the mind and body's way of coping and trying to heal.

I wouldn't know about getting daily pennies as a sign. I choose not to compare whether or not I feel or sense my husband"s presence or signs given. I feel my husband's presence when he knows my need. I notice the signs when I need to .Knowing my husband, his presence and signs are going to be subtle. He was an outdoors person and a problem fixer. His signs are going to be from nature and I've already had signs that he must have been involved with how a couple of legal issues worked out in my favor. His way of *fixing* things.When we are so mired in the grieving, we are not going to be aware of signs. We become more aware as we go along this journey.

Do not doubt your husband. He loved and cared for you before and he still does.(HUGS)

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Mrsviden,

No it doesn't mean your husband doesn't care about you.  We all have different kinds of signs, perhaps yours is a rainbow or a type of flower or bird, a light flickering, it something that means something to you and your husband.  Sometimes they send signs and we don't recognize them as such, we are physical and they spiritual, but you will connect, be patient.  I don't know anyone who gets daily signs.  

I'm having a bum night tonight, so I hope I don't bring anyone down.  Tonight I would take thunder and lightening as a sign, he went out with that and a triple rainbow.  Now that would be something!

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18 hours ago, KayC said:

Mrsviden,

No it doesn't mean your husband doesn't care about you.  We all have different kinds of signs, perhaps yours is a rainbow or a type of flower or bird, a light flickering, it something that means something to you and your husband.  Sometimes they send signs and we don't recognize them as such, we are physical and they spiritual, but you will connect, be patient.  I don't know anyone who gets daily signs.  

I'm having a bum night tonight, so I hope I don't bring anyone down.  Tonight I would take thunder and lightening as a sign, he went out with that and a triple rainbow.  Now that would be something!

Hope you are feeling a little better today, one the really bad days I just think of everything and I let the enemy come in and convince me I'm not loved by my husband anymore. A week after Joe passed his boss told me that the bullcrap people say about the deceased watching over us is nothing but bullcrap. He stated he doesn't miss me, he doesn't look over me, and he sure and he'll doesn't send me signs. That is always in the back of my head, and I shouldn't let that control my thoughts about my joe, because I know the truth. 

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Mrsviden, Wow, what a crazy thing for his boss to say.  Don't let what he said change how you feel.  I didn't think I believed in "signs" or that he was watching over me until a couple of strange things happened.  Things that were more than coincidences.  Even my 19 year old doubting daughter thought one of the incidents was pretty amazing.  I'm trying to figure out this new relationship - not a physical one but a spiritual one.  I know there's something there, but not sure yet what it all means.  Maybe I'll never really know, but it's something.  

KayC, Hope you have better day today.  Maybe you'll see another rainbow!

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13 hours ago, Mrsviden said:

A week after Joe passed his boss told me that the bullcrap people say about the deceased watching over us is nothing but bullcrap. He stated he doesn't miss me, he doesn't look over me, and he sure and he'll doesn't send me signs.

Wow, is his boss nuts?!  What a thing to say!  Even if HE feels that way, it's hard to believe someone can be so stupid as to SAY such a thing to someone who just lost their husband!  I think I would have responded (quite sarcastically), "Wow, that makes me feel WAY comforted, thanks for that!"

The thing is, his boss is no expert on afterlife and obviously not on grief.  Let what he said go for what it's worth.

HHFaith,

Thank you, I need to continue working on letting go of my daughter's situation, it's hers to deal with, I know it's easier said than done, I care about her so much, but she has to make decisions for her life.  That said...easier said than done.  But I know I can't keep losing sleep over something I have no control over!

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1 hour ago, HHFaith said:

Mrsviden, Wow, what a crazy thing for his boss to say.  Don't let what he said change how you feel.  I didn't think I believed in "signs" or that he was watching over me until a couple of strange things happened.  Things that were more than coincidences.  Even my 19 year old doubting daughter thought one of the incidents was pretty amazing.  I'm trying to figure out this new relationship - not a physical one but a spiritual one.  I know there's something there, but not sure yet what it all means.  Maybe I'll never really know, but it's something.  

KayC, Hope you have better day today.  Maybe you'll see another rainbow!

I can totally relate to the knowing something is there but not sure what it all means, I believe that my husband is probably trying to yell at me and say I'm right here, I'm right here! There's some odd things that have happened so I know he's there it's just hard on the days something odd doesn't happen. It feels like you're losing them all over again. My heart just aches today, today it feels all too real and I just want to crawl in bed and cry. 

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41 minutes ago, KayC said:

Wow, is his boss nuts?!  What a thing to say!  Even if HE feels that way, it's hard to believe someone can be so stupid as to SAY such a thing to someone who just lost their husband!  I think I would have responded (quite sarcastically), "Wow, that makes me feel WAY comforted, thanks for that!"

The thing is, his boss is no expert on afterlife and obviously not on grief.  Let what he said go for what it's worth.

HHFaith,

Thank you, I need to continue working on letting go of my daughter's situation, it's hers to deal with, I know it's easier said than done, I care about her so much, but she has to make decisions for her life.  That said...easier said than done.  But I know I can't keep losing sleep over something I have no control over!

KayC praying for you. 

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13 minutes ago, Mrsviden said:

I can totally relate to the knowing something is there but not sure what it all means, I believe that my husband is probably trying to yell at me and say I'm right here, I'm right here! There's some odd things that have happened so I know he's there it's just hard on the days something odd doesn't happen. It feels like you're losing them all over again. My heart just aches today, today it feels all too real and I just want to crawl in bed and cry. 

It's ok to crawl in bed and cry. Just don't stay there forever!

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Mrsviden, They are still *there* and with us. I don't feel we can expect them to show us signs everyday. We have to have faith and trust. It takes a lot of spiritual energy to break through this physical, dense world we live in to receive signs and to feel their presence. They are still with us, but they also want us to heal and make the effort we have to do on our own to continue on with living this life.This whole process is easier said than done. Go ahead and cry all you need to. Our loved ones know how hard this is for us. (HUGS)

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2 hours ago, KMB said:

Mrsviden, They are still *there* and with us. I don't feel we can expect them to show us signs everyday. We have to have faith and trust. It takes a lot of spiritual energy to break through this physical, dense world we live in to receive signs and to feel their presence. They are still with us, but they also want us to heal and make the effort we have to do on our own to continue on with living this life.This whole process is easier said than done. Go ahead and cry all you need to. Our loved ones know how hard this is for us. (HUGS)

Thank you, definitely the hardest thing I've ever gone through

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22 hours ago, Mrsviden said:

KayC praying for you. 

Thank you, I appreciate it!

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