Legal issues re: living together

[AceBasin]

One issue that may tragically occur when a couple that has lost their spouses begins to share a life without marrying (or has been living together)  is what happens when one dies.

Trauma can compound tragedy when the deceased partner was estranged from his family and you are excluded. You even be excluded from health care and funeral decisions. You may be asked to leave your home if it was in the deceased’s name.

It is essential to have a current will, power of attorney and health care directives.

If cost is a concern, many of those documents may be available at no cost locally or on the internet

[Francine]

Unfortunate, but true.  If one is not officially married, the partner would have no entitlement to any of the estate.   I spoke with an attorney years ago and was told that If an unmarried person died without a will, American law, leaves everything to their next of kin. But the law, not you, decides who next of kin is.  That unmarried couples, regardless of sexual orientation or relationship length, are classified as unrelated individuals in the eyes of the law, leaving them vulnerable to the loss of homes they helped pay for, assets they helped accumulate and even children they helped raise.

Therefore and to avoid all the drama that will undoubtedly come,  I would agree with you -  having a will should be a priority and whatever your circumstances are, if you are unmarried and don’t have a will or power of attorney, please look into this matter asap; - there is no time like the present!

 

[AceBasin]

Francine, it is much easier to have the will and other documents. But, it there were oral promises of ownership and possibly witnesses and part performance, such as payments for them, there may be legal remedies in your state.

Health directives are also critical because a partner can be denied visitation by an estranged family member.

Many states and local probate courts offer some of these documents for free on their websites.

[HHFaith]

Good advice from you both. Pat and I were not married. He had no children and no will. His siblings whom he was not close to were the legal next of kin. They are now battling it out over his estate. I'm "just the girlfriend" so I am totally out of the picture. So sad. Would have done things differently if only we had known what was going to happen. Tough lesson learned. I have already met with a lawyer to have my will updated. Not a pleasant topic but an important one. Pats situation definitely added a lot of additional stress and drama to an already horrible situation. 

[KayC]

It's a helluva way to learn about the legalities too, at a time when we're vulnerable and less able to process this information or make decisions.  I've often wondered why this is so, that so much is required when we're least able to deliver, following their death!

[KMB]

If I could go back 8 months with the more stable frame of mind I am in now, I would have done some things differently. When someone passes away, the process of their physical body is rushed through. So much chaos with choices, decisions, the funeral home, the arrangements. I wished I could have hit the pause button on that time until I could better deal with it all .I felt like the professionals, society, the world, wanted to rush my husband out of total existence when I wasn't ready to part with him.

[KayC]

I know, it was a whirl of disaster, pain, decisions, all too pushed, too fast.