Members mary sledzianowski Posted April 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 I lost both of my boys back on february 27th 1999 and i have not stop grieving. I don't know how to live any other way. My youngest had just turned 15 and twenty days later he was gone and my oldest was 16 about to turn 17 that coming summer. I heard the sirens that day and prayed to god that it wasn't my boys, only minutes later i found out it was them. They were visiting their dad that weekend (one town over from me) and i warned my ex husband about this boy that was driving. I begged my ex husband not to let my boys hang out with him while he had them over there for the weekend. He didn't listen. My ex husband asked for visitation rights for every weekend and i agreed only because i thought maybe he would finally start being the father he should be . I was wrong i should have known better. Does he have any regrets? not a one he gets to go on with his life and i get to stay in the depression mode. He was a dead beat husband and a dead beat dad. His only concern was the settlement on the boys from the insurance company. I wish he was in the grave instead of my boys On the boys headstone it says brothers in life, brothers in death, for great is your reward in heaven. together forever. I miss my boys and probably will go on grieving the rest of my life. Life just doesn't have meaning anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mary sledzianowski Posted April 11, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 meant to post the above post in the loss of an adult child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My girl is in heaven Posted April 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 Hi Mary. Your story is so heart breaking. I can't imagine losing both children. You have lived in so much pain and darkness for so many years you deserve to start seeing some light again. For me it has been almost six yrs and I am still having problems moving on too. Someone suggested complicated grief and recommended someone who specializes in traumas. I know we will always live with the pain of our loss but I am encouraged by others on this site that there is hope. Please don't give up. Your boys would not want that. I live in Canada but I will look up information on trauma doctors or therapists in your area if you want me to. Just to give you a few names. I am the lady who emailed you the other day. I am glad you reached out. You have to keep trying. You can do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 Mary....I just got on the site and I have read your post....it is beyond sad....and I can not wrap my mind around the 'thought' of losing two sons...at the same time...I am 'reading' that it was a car accident. How many times when my children would go somewhere together and I would stay up til they came home...thinking that as long as I stayed vigil...I could keep them from harm. Silly...silly me. We lost our oldest son, John David, in 2012...he was 42....and this grief journey has been hard...dark and heavy. I know you know that so well. We had a daughter and five boys. His passing has been hard on all his siblings....our family circle will be forever broken. I do hope you can post in Loss of Adult child....there are many active parents on that topic/site that can give you care and compassion....some on there have lost two children...so they will understand you even more. I have questioned myself many times...I am surviving...but how to thrive ? The most comfort I have had has come from the parents that walk in my shoes and know that walking this grief journey is best traveled with those who have been touched by this kind of grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mary sledzianowski Posted April 12, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 thank you louann, I won't mind if you looked up the information, i'm so depressed all the time that it makes me have no ambition in life except to sit here and cry and wonder why.. I know deep in my heart that i need help but when the emptiness and pain in my heart start it's like i just keep giving up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mary sledzianowski Posted April 12, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 hi tears in heaven I am so very sorry for your loss. I love the quotes. I will never understand why parents have to go thru this. It's not fair, were suppose to enjoy their lives not bury them. I don't think i will ever recover from this, my life is so empty and lonely Please keep in touch it means alot to me . thank you so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted April 12, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 Mary, you never have to feel alone. Susan (Mermaid Tears) always finds the best quotes. And there are so many who know this loss. Join the Loss of an adult child and bring your sorrow, your angst and even a joyful time. While you have walked in your "grief shoes" longer than I have , I can understand and so can all who have had to bear this sorrow. We all help each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted April 12, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 Mary....please post in Loss of Adult Child....so you can find a small layer of understanding....from all the parents who have to carry this kind of grief...as I said...there are parents on that site that has lost 2 children....I can so understand how you have been paralyzed by this double heavy load of grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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